OP, I went to a wedding like this years ago. Catholic service at 10 and reception at 6:30. It was totally weird. All of the family was in full on formal wear at the 10 am service. Ball gowns and tuxedos. But most of the guests were in sweat pants!! I can understand not wearing your formal attire but sweats? And how weird to be wearing evening attire to a 10 am wedding. And to wait an entire day to then go the reception was a total waste for all of us who came from out of town. It was in some crappy town in Long Island so it wasn't like there was much to do. If I were you I would just go to the reception.

To me a bat mitzvah isn't as big of a deal as a wedding. Weddings are joining two people together permanently. I would probably just go to the reception and only spend 1 night at the hotel. Traveling is too much for the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

OP, what's up? Are you a troll or were you being dishonest in your original post or what? You know how close you are to your family members. You know how much or how little the bar mitzvah matters to the hosts. In their shoes, would you want your sibling(s) and their family there or not? Do what you would like them to do.

No, I'm not a troll -- I wanted a variety of opinions. People post less about Bat/Bar Mitzvah questions. As for the fact that I know my family, isn't that true of every post in this forum? I'm asking for others' opinions.

It seems a little manipulative that you would first post one story, and people spend time and energy responding about a wedding, and now you say it's a bat mitzvah. But whatever. How religious is the family? How close to that sibling and to your niece are you? Is it at a place you'd like to travel anyway so it could become a mini vacation if you extend a day or two?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

OP, what's up? Are you a troll or were you being dishonest in your original post or what? You know how close you are to your family members. You know how much or how little the bar mitzvah matters to the hosts. In their shoes, would you want your sibling(s) and their family there or not? Do what you would like them to do.

No, I'm not a troll -- I wanted a variety of opinions. People post less about Bat/Bar Mitzvah questions. As for the fact that I know my family, isn't that true of every post in this forum? I'm asking for others' opinions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

It is VERY common to have a Bat Mtzvah schedule like this.

You can not have music until after the sabath ends.

We are reform and I've never heard that before...never seen prohibition at any other family wedding or Bat/Bar Mitzvah

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

OP, what's up? Are you a troll or were you being dishonest in your original post or what? You know how close you are to your family members. You know how much or how little the bar mitzvah matters to the hosts. In their shoes, would you want your sibling(s) and their family there or not? Do what you would like them to do.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more common for a bar mitzvah.

Really? I have never seen this done for a B.M. I have much less incentive to spend two nights in a hotel for a BM than for a wedding.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

It is VERY common to have a Bat Mtzvah schedule like this.

You can not have music until after the sabath ends.

I think this is more common for a bar mitzvah.

How old are your kids, OP? If they can possibly last until 9:00 pm or so, then give it a try if you're at all close to your sibling or niece. It's not super-convenient, but family is important. Besides, weddings are often not terribly convenient even if it's just due to travel considerations, but these events are special.

OP here. Anyone feel differently if I told you this was not a wedding but a Bat Mitzvah?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Niece's wedding ceremony at the morning service (10). Dinner and dancing from 6 p.m to 10 p.m. that evening. So two nights in a hotel with 3 small children. Would you go? Is there a polite way to refuse?

Is this normal to spread this out this way?

I am confident your niece did not want this to be the schedule - rather it was probably the only time she could get the chuch. Put yourself in her shoes for a second.
Do you think she said to herself - I really want to get up on my wedding day at 5AM so I can get my hair and make-up done and be ready to walk down the aisle at 10AM?
Then let met hang out for 7 hours and start the party at 6PM?

You can have a reception that starts at 11:00 or 12:00, with a sit-down meal and dancing and everything. It's OK!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The weird thing is my kids are definitely invited to all events. Which is sweet but ??

I agree 9:09 that the ceremony had to be at 10:00 but why not have a luncheon instead of dinner and dancing?

I would go myself to the ceremony and have the whole family go to the reception.
I would never miss my niece's wedding.

We're lucky because we have a large family. In the absence of a sitter, in a situation like this we would all go to the morning ceremony and then I would leave DH and the kids in the hotel and go to the evening reception by myself. The difference for me is I'm guaranteed to have a number of cousins and other family members there to be with even if my husband's not with me. Some people might not be comfortable with that but it works for us.

OP here. The weird thing is my kids are definitely invited to all events. Which is sweet but ??

I agree 9:09 that the ceremony had to be at 10:00 but why not have a luncheon instead of dinner and dancing?