Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

Except if they don't even want to agree to identify their child as Christian, then that's a problem.

OP, I'm Catholic and my children are baptized but I wholly support your decision not to if it doesn't align with your beliefs and the way you will raise your child. I can almost guarantee this will turn into a 5pg thread, since it does every time the topic is raised, with some advocating that you let the ceremony happen even though it's meaningless to you. Personally I find that disrespectful to the people in the faith that you are committing your child to.

This. I'm cradle Catholic but not practicing, but my husband is a non-believer. He had agreed to have our child baptised if the priest who married us would perform the ceremony, but it hasn't worked out yet (the priest lives in my hometown, which is 3000 miles away) and I'm not really worried. My mom would like the baby to be baptised, but hasn't said anything, because she trusts me to raise my daughter. My daughter can always be baptised when she's old enough to decide for herself. In the meantime, I will teach her about what I believe and work to instill my values. Whether or not she wants to be baptised, I hope that I will raise her to be honest, kind, compassionate, courageous, and a woman of strength and integrity.

Anonymous wrote:My kids were baptised as infants in the Lutheran Church which I think has essentially the same service as the Catholic Church. The parents are promising to raise the child in the church and, yes, do renounce Satan. I think you should not do it if you can not seriously make these vows. I think you are lying before God which is a serious sin.

If you can't raise the child in the church, let them make the decision as adults.

And yes, at least among Lutherans, at least one parent needs to be an active member of the church.

This is true of Catholicism as well.

You also need an active Catholic godparent. So not just your BFF or your SIL, but someone who means the vows.

I agree that it is better for the parents to not do this just to make the grandparents happy. These are serious vows.

--a practicing Catholic

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and was raised Catholic. I wouldn't do it. The parents and godparents promises to raise the child as a Catholic and promise to "renounce Satan" during baptism. Unless you mean it when you say it, don't do it.

Yes, they might change their minds later and decide they want to embrace Satan?

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and was raised Catholic. I wouldn't do it. The parents and godparents promises to raise the child as a Catholic and promise to "renounce Satan" during baptism. Unless you mean it when you say it, don't do it.

+ 1

-practicing Catholic

I don't understand all the people saying that OP should let MIL have her own ceremony for the child. Even if said ceremony is private bw MIL and child, that gives MIL the authority, if not obligation, to teach child MIL's version of religious truth. That would not be okay with me.

My kids were baptised as infants in the Lutheran Church which I think has essentially the same service as the Catholic Church. The parents are promising to raise the child in the church and, yes, do renounce Satan. I think you should not do it if you can not seriously make these vows. I think you are lying before God which is a serious sin.

If you can't raise the child in the church, let them make the decision as adults.

And yes, at least among Lutherans, at least one parent needs to be an active member of the church.

Anonymous wrote:It's a silly superstition, but sometimes you have to let them do it. That said, I would never do it in a formal setting, but if MIL wanted to do some backyard thing with no guests just so she could sleep without fear of her grandchild spending eternity in purgatory (eyeroll), that's fine.

And what happens when she decides on doing other things? Give an inch.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

This is absolutely not true.

Parents take vows at baptism, promising to raise their child in the Christian faith. Not specific to the denomination necessarily, but you make promises before God and the congregation. Sort of like your wedding vows.

+1

Plus, the parents have to be involved in the church (at least be members of the church) to have the baptism done. DH needs to tell his mother NO. We are similar, except I am the "go only on major holidays" and my DH is non religious. He had religion jammed down his throat and so he wants nothing to do with it. I used to want my kids baptized, but now I realize that it really has no significance to me. People can be good or bad, it's their choice and whether they go to church or not has nothing to do with how good/bad they are. Honestly, I've had members of the clergy in my family and they do horrible things. Adultery comes to mind. So I do not attend church. Too full of hypocrites!

I let my MiL know that if DC chose to be baptized, we would not disallow it and that MiL certainly would be invited to watch. That plus the passing of time made it a non-issue.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and was raised Catholic. I wouldn't do it. The parents and godparents promises to raise the child as a Catholic and promise to "renounce Satan" during baptism. Unless you mean it when you say it, don't do it.

True. Don't lie when it comes to matters of faith. Tell your MIL you can not honestly participate or condone the baptism. Any respectable clergy would refuse to conduct the service if the parents aren't committed to following through.

There's no need to say a word to MIL about it on your part. DH can decide if he wants to do a sit-down in advance or wait until she asks. If she asks you, just say, "Why don't you discuss that with DH?"

I was raised Roman Catholic, attended Catholic school until 4th grade then CCD. My brother had a huge Catholic wedding, my husband and I were married in the Venetian in Vegas. Baptism was a huge issue with my mother, to the point that I didn't speak to her for almost 6 weeks while I was pregnant (I normally talk to her every day or two). She dropped it and is okay with our decision. Do what YOU want as YOU are the parent!

Anonymous wrote:I would have gritted my teeth for my mom, but she died. Everyone eps gets the standard "he can decide for himself later" answer. My family is pretty mainstream Protestant, though, so it's harder for them to argue than if they were Catholic.

Except Catholics don't need all people to be baptized so it's not a hard argument. People who die unbaptized aren't automatically excluded from heaven. The Pope acknowledged earlier this year that he could imagine even atheists go to heaven. Yes, the atheists don't believe there's a heaven, but those of us who believe in it do wonder about these things.

I would have gritted my teeth for my mom, but she died. Everyone eps gets the standard "he can decide for himself later" answer. My family is pretty mainstream Protestant, though, so it's harder for them to argue than if they were Catholic.

It's a silly superstition, but sometimes you have to let them do it. That said, I would never do it in a formal setting, but if MIL wanted to do some backyard thing with no guests just so she could sleep without fear of her grandchild spending eternity in purgatory (eyeroll), that's fine.