Anonymous wrote:One of your main jobs as parent is to raise your children into independent, responsible, competent adults.

As long as you have increased their independence and responsibility each year, then by 16 or 17 they should be at a point where they still have you as a back-up but they are responsible for themselves, making their own decisions and finessing their competencies. If you have raised them with the integrity, character, morals and values to make the right decisions, then you have nothing to worry about.

Well, not exactly true. As a parent I'll always worry a little because life isn't always fair and safe and bad things can happen despite all precautions. Still, you can't live your life thinking about all the "what if's?". What you can do is prepare your teen for responsibility and independence as much as possible, let them know you're there to back them up, and then pray. Most of us had parents who probably worried about us too when we were in college. It's just part of parenthood.

It's not like you're dropping them off on the streets of Harlem. It's college. There are RAs in the dorms, a health center, a counseling center, free condoms, and they're surrounded by other 18-20 year olds. It's like a halfway house between high school and the real world. I couldn't think of a better place to leave my 18 year old.

college kids these days are emotionally equivalent to 14 year olds when I went to college in the 80's.

Anonymous wrote:Don't drink till you pass out, else you might be raped if you're a woman; if you're a man, go enjoy yourself!

There, fixed that for you.

Anonymous wrote:No one there cares much about their basic safety, if they return to their dorm room at night, or not.

Fewer and fewer kids are prepared to cope with that degree of responsibility.

What about life post-graduation (if they survive the perils of college, of course)? Who will make sure they return to their apartment at night?

Don't drink till you pass out, else you might be raped

Anonymous wrote:I share your concern. My kids are not college age yet but I do worry about this. Frankly, kids drink too much and do dangerous things. Some college students get run over and killed each year on campuses in cities. Strange but true...They are either drunk or looking at a device. At Northeastern in Boston, kids are warned about this actually.

I think college was safer years ago before there was so much binge drinking and when there were parietals (sp?) - i.e.. single sex dorms with adult RA's who made sure kids did get back before curfew.

What year was this? 9 AD?

One doesn't put one's child in college. It isn't like choosing a daycare.

Binge drinking is nothing new either - my Dad is 75 and has "Animal House"-type stories from his college experience.

There haven't been parietals or single sex dorms with adult RAs since the early 1970s, at least at the Ivy I attended, so puzzled how anyone posting on this forum is waxing nostalgic for something that hasn't existed for over 40 years.

What is the alternative? Buying a Winnebago and parking it outside the dorm seems excessive to me.

Anonymous wrote:What's your question?

The question is in the subject line.

I share your concern. My kids are not college age yet but I do worry about this. Frankly, kids drink too much and do dangerous things. Some college students get run over and killed each year on campuses in cities. Strange but true...They are either drunk or looking at a device. At Northeastern in Boston, kids are warned about this actually.

I think college was safer years ago before there was so much binge drinking and when there were parietals (sp?) - i.e.. single sex dorms with adult RA's who made sure kids did get back before curfew.

One of your main jobs as parent is to raise your children into independent, responsible, competent adults.

As long as you have increased their independence and responsibility each year, then by 16 or 17 they should be at a point where they still have you as a back-up but they are responsible for themselves, making their own decisions and finessing their competencies. If you have raised them with the integrity, character, morals and values to make the right decisions, then you have nothing to worry about.

Do you really think someone needs to make sure your kid returns to the dorm at night? Really?