Your kid isn't the only kid in her care. You are self centered, and you've led your child to believe the world revolves around her. Until you and she realize that, any kind of care that isn't devoted completely to her needs and whims is going to be difficult. This provider decided it was too much for her, and I really can't fault her.

I don't think there's anything wrong with rocking a baby to sleep. And I don't think there's anything wrong with day care, and I don't think there's anything wrong with a day care provider being asked to meet that need (or just chill out and let this transition period work itself out, with extra care and love showered on the sad child).

I agree with those who say to find an in home child care provider (or get a nanny -- nanny share?) who will take a more personally invested approach to the individual needs and temperaments of each child in her care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

Yikes, frightening attitude from a childcare provider! Some kids are just clingier than others - it has nothing to do with parenting, although sleep training may or may not fix the napping problem. But nothing is going to change a baby's preset need for holding and comforting. Some babies just need more than others. Maybe it is heritable - but it would be incredibly cruel to let a baby cry all day because you're trying to teach it something. A good home daycare provider would just babywear this little one. If she can't do that, then she shouldn't be taking babies.

Where did I say she should leave the baby to cry all day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

Yikes, frightening attitude from a childcare provider! Some kids are just clingier than others - it has nothing to do with parenting, although sleep training may or may not fix the napping problem. But nothing is going to change a baby's preset need for holding and comforting. Some babies just need more than others. Maybe it is heritable - but it would be incredibly cruel to let a baby cry all day because you're trying to teach it something. A good home daycare provider would just babywear this little one. If she can't do that, then she shouldn't be taking babies.

Have you ever tried baby-wearing and also trying to meet the needs of other children? You can't pick up another child and an 8 month-old is not small.
I'm sorry you find this to be a frightening attitude from a childcare provider. It's the truth.
This woman knew that this child isn't a good fit for daycare. She was honest.
It is absolutely ridiculous to expect an at home daycare provider to wear a baby all day and to rock the baby for 20 minutes (minimum) everyday.
It takes her care attention away from the other children.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine putting my baby through that. This is why DH and I made sure one of us was going to be staying home with our kids as babies and toddlers.

You can't get this time back and you're likely the best person/people for them at that age. No salary can compare to that time.

Fuck you.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

Yikes, frightening attitude from a childcare provider! Some kids are just clingier than others - it has nothing to do with parenting, although sleep training may or may not fix the napping problem. But nothing is going to change a baby's preset need for holding and comforting. Some babies just need more than others. Maybe it is heritable - but it would be incredibly cruel to let a baby cry all day because you're trying to teach it something. A good home daycare provider would just babywear this little one. If she can't do that, then she shouldn't be taking babies.

Seriously, why rock a kid to sleep. You created some bad habits that you wanted to put on the babysitter

I think a center would be a better fit. Sounds like this woman doesn't have an assistant? So maybe she doesn't have time to get your child to go to sleep. Better now than down the road. I can't imagine she wouldn't be overly rigid about other things. 10 minutes is not unreasonable, babies are clingy. Par for the course at a daycare center. And if a center isn't an option, I'm sure there are better staffed, more flexible in home daycares or part time nannies who would happily watch your baby.

I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

It's weird. Move on. Be thankful you are done with that daycare.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine putting my baby through that. This is why DH and I made sure one of us was going to be staying home with our kids as babies and toddlers.

You can't get this time back and you're likely the best person/people for them at that age. No salary can compare to that time.

It can if it means you won't be able to afford food or shelter or easily return to the work force later. GET A CLUE.

My DC #1 was at an in-home daycare of a woman who ran the daycare for 20 yrs. DC started there at 8mo, too. DC didn't really have separation issues off the bat, but that phase did come around. Most kids cry for about 5 or 10 minutes and then stop, including my own DC. This is what most daycare providers have told me (I looked into several).

There are those kids, however, that don't stop crying, and pretty much cry all day. There was a boy like this at my DC's daycare. And the woman there also told the parent that the child was not a good fit for the daycare after the one week trial period. I assume, as someone who's been working in daycare for 20+ yrs, this woman knows whether a child will settle down or not after a week, and since this child didn't, it wasn't going to work. Apparently, the child was at home with a nanny all day prior to coming to the daycare. I don't remember how the child was. So the nanny idea may backfire on you if you want to eventually put your child in daycare when your child is a toddler. Maybe your child will grow out of the phase. That's an unknown, unfortunately.

If there are multiple children that the daycare must look after, it really is not possible to spend the entire day holding one baby. That would not be fair to the other children. So, you would either have the situation where, as other PPs have described, the child is left to cry all day, or the Provider will let you know it's not working.

Your situation sucks. I'm sorry. Maybe your DC needs to also spend more time around other kids, if not already, to get them more social? Some kids love being around other kids.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's normal but what else can you do? It's not like forcing the daycare provider to take her back will result in any kind of good situation.

+1

Yeah, this is more a case of not a good fit with the family child care provider. It is harder (but still OK!) to transition a baby approaching 1 year of age into child care, due to the separation anxiety. But she will get there and be OK.

Rocking a baby for 10 minutes is not at all unreasonable in my opinion. But if that provider doesn't want to do it, you need a different one.

I lucked out when my kiddos were babies, each time I found a family child care provider who only took 2 babies at a time, she did not also take on older kids. So it is possible to find someone who is willing to devote more attention to your baby.

When you look for another provider, try asking questions about how she handles fussy babies, what if the baby cries for a while. How does it go when new babies start in care with her, how long do they take to get settled? Hearing a provider's answers will give you some insight into how they approach babies, separation, and crying. I bet some totally take it in stride and understand that it comes with the territory, but others do not like it so much that they end the care arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine putting my baby through that. This is why DH and I made sure one of us was going to be staying home with our kids as babies and toddlers.

You can't get this time back and you're likely the best person/people for them at that age. No salary can compare to that time.

Go back up under ur bridge Shrek!
signed a SAHM