Anonymous wrote:I might be your SIL. I'm not mean and I don't do it to hurt anyone's feelings, but my parents and fam are in the area, so hence, there are a number of postings of DD with Gm or whatever and occasionally labeled "best Meemaw ever" (i carefully use the "Gm" name given to my mom, at least most of the time). Also, my fam goes above and beyond for us and our kids, babysitting, and tons more. They are our rock. Our in laws sweep in twice a year with a hundred demands and then expect to be waiting on and taken out to fancy dinners. So, not much to post about with them.

I think your best response is to block (if it hurts your feelings) and then deflect your family members, Why on earth are they calling you? That sounds pretty catty and gossipy and immature to me and makes me wonder if your SIL is actually posting passive aggressive stuff on purpose to piss off the whole gang, because she knows how the gossip goes around... Just a thought...

I am not Fb friends with my MIL.

You do it to hurt people's feelings. Look at what you wrote. You have an agenda and you fulfill it on FB. Grow up! All of us have people we are closer to than others, but some of us don't feel the need to try to smear all over the internet in some kind of passive-aggressive way to hurt the feelings of others. What are you -- in the 8th grade?

I might be your SIL. I'm not mean and I don't do it to hurt anyone's feelings, but my parents and fam are in the area, so hence, there are a number of postings of DD with Gm or whatever and occasionally labeled "best Meemaw ever" (i carefully use the "Gm" name given to my mom, at least most of the time). Also, my fam goes above and beyond for us and our kids, babysitting, and tons more. They are our rock. Our in laws sweep in twice a year with a hundred demands and then expect to be waiting on and taken out to fancy dinners. So, not much to post about with them.

I think your best response is to block (if it hurts your feelings) and then deflect your family members, Why on earth are they calling you? That sounds pretty catty and gossipy and immature to me and makes me wonder if your SIL is actually posting passive aggressive stuff on purpose to piss off the whole gang, because she knows how the gossip goes around... Just a thought...

I am not Fb friends with my MIL.

Facebook is a place for boring, immature, and anxious people. Delete your account and enjoy your real life. Find another way to keep in touch with your family — people use that as an excuse, but it's not a good reason.

It only reflects badly on her so let her play her little games, don't engage any of the other family in their questions ("I don't get her posts so you'll have to ask her directly") and ignore as much as possible.

Tell your family to stop telling you what she is posting.

"I don't know, you have to ask her"
"Not my monkeys,not my circus"
"I do not entertain drama, please do not ask me about this stuff, bring this to me"


It is amazing to me the lengths that people will go to -- to appease crazy.

Anonymous wrote:If my SIL posted that her sister was the favorite aunt of my little nephew , I'd think "What a nice little lift of spirits for N-, I bet that made her day." What's the big deal? Is there some finite number of compliments in the world? And is this some tiny little community of Facebook people watching to see the favorites change on a daily basis? What a lot of dramatic horseshit.

That's the thing. When you're daily confronted by comments like these, you get caught up in them, and get drawn into the drama. They make you needy and attention-seeking and petty, even if you aren't.

That's why, OP, I think you need to block her from your newsfeed and honestly spend less time on it.

Now I need to take my own advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Other family and friends think something is wrong and contact me. They tell me what she is posting. Furthermore, before I blocked her, I saw what she was posting in my newsfeed.

Tell them to ask her if they want to know.

If my SIL posted that her sister was the favorite aunt of my little nephew , I'd think "What a nice little lift of spirits for N-, I bet that made her day." What's the big deal? Is there some finite number of compliments in the world? And is this some tiny little community of Facebook people watching to see the favorites change on a daily basis? What a lot of dramatic horseshit.

Anonymous wrote:I'm another who thinks you should redirect the inquiries back to her. I would say, "I didn't see her post and I don't know why she said that, have you asked her why?" And then quickly change the subject. After a while they will stop asking. While I think your SIL is not nice, I don't think it's particularly helpful for your other family members to draw attention to it by calling and asking. I think that's rude and insensitive too.

+1 They just want the dirt. It won't help anyone if you take part in it.

I'm another who thinks you should redirect the inquiries back to her. I would say, "I didn't see her post and I don't know why she said that, have you asked her why?" And then quickly change the subject. After a while they will stop asking. While I think your SIL is not nice, I don't think it's particularly helpful for your other family members to draw attention to it by calling and asking. I think that's rude and insensitive too.

You need to grow up. People have favorite things that change. At various times in our lives, I am my parents' favorite child. At other times, my brother is. And yet other times, my sister is. Even when the favorite changes, they don't love us any less. Love is not a finite or quantifiable emotion. One can have boundless love for more than one person at a time and one's love can change. Also your niece is a child. Her favorites can and will change rather whimsically or impetuously. Also, your SIL's antics only have the power to hurt you if you let them. Don't take slights from a child's whims or a childish parent's whims.

Also, don't engage or react to your SIL's childish behavior. If family members call to see what's the matter, just answer that nothing new has happened and that SIL is being tempermental (again) or she is in another one of her moods, but nothing significant caused this. Most of the time when I respond this way about someone, they understand completely. Most high maintenance people like your SIL are obvious to everyone around you. Likely you are not the only one that has to "walk on eggshells" around this melodramatic person so flagging it as another one of her tempermental moods will likely make new issues more about her than about you.

Some people like that behave this way to get a rise out of others. If you don't rise to the bait, then they usually turn their attentions elsewhere or at least stop trying to get a reaction out of you.

Ignore. She is looking for a reaction. Don't give her one.

When people contact you to ask about things she's done you need to refer them back to her. So if she posts that Little Larla has the most fun with Aunt Annie one of her friends will eventually say "Doesn't that make your SIL feed bad?"

Grow up and truly ignore her. She's acting like a child.

I am sorry you are dealing with this. All of my family sounds like your SIL. You can either completely ignore all of her digs. If she is passive aggressive, then yes she is throwing digs at you and your family. If you ignore her she will eventually stop. For those people that are mutual friends that ask you about the content. I would ask them to ask her what they mean. If she says anything about you or your mom then they will slowly find out what she's really like. I know the part that sucks the most is that you don't know if she is actually trying to talk shit about you and your family. If you asked her she would deny and it would start a fight.

It seems like it's very easy for everyone to tell you to grow up or walk away, but when the PA person is in your family it makes things a whole lot harder. I know I deal with it every single day.