Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier. PP may be right. My ex was too cowardly to just divorce me, so he had an affair to make me divorce him. Maybe you are looking down the same path OP.

At the very least, start saving, and start exercising.

Why must she start exercising more? I suspect you're not recommending endorphins here but instead are recommending that she alter her appearance -- ironically, that's what mean husband wants too!

Based on my experience, it's alot easier to deal with divorce, and to date post divorce, if you are healthy and within a healthy weight range.

I agree w/you OP wholeheartedly that at this point even if you lost all the weight he wanted you to lose, it would be a mute point now.

He has already shown his true colors + they are not pretty.

He obviously does not love you unconditionally and this is not acceptable at all.

I would seriously re-think if I really could spend the rest of my life living w/someone who measures his love for me by the size of my waist.

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier. PP may be right. My ex was too cowardly to just divorce me, so he had an affair to make me divorce him. Maybe you are looking down the same path OP.

At the very least, start saving, and start exercising.

Why must she start exercising more? I suspect you're not recommending endorphins here but instead are recommending that she alter her appearance -- ironically, that's what mean husband wants too!

Anonymous wrote:I agree his behavior is not loving or kind. I am just not sure what to do with it. Hard to pull the trigger on divorce.

Again, if your precious child came to you and cried on your shoulder about being treated this way, what would you tell her to do?

I know my girl deserves better than this. So do I. So do you.

I posted earlier. PP may be right. My ex was too cowardly to just divorce me, so he had an affair to make me divorce him. Maybe you are looking down the same path OP.

At the very least, start saving, and start exercising.

Anonymous wrote:I agree his behavior is not loving or kind. I am just not sure what to do with it. Hard to pull the trigger on divorce.

Posted earlier. If he's maneuvering as I fear, soon he will be having an affair. He will be sloppy about not really hiding it.

. He will blame the affair on yo up, and since it's all your fault, he'll see no reason why he should give it ul.

At that point, moving toward divorce feels a lot easier.

I hope for your sake I am wrong. Otoh he's exhibiting classic, cliche behavior here.

I agree his behavior is not loving or kind. I am just not sure what to do with it. Hard to pull the trigger on divorce.

Wow, what a dick. So sorry for your situation.

What will it do to the kids to be raised in a marriage where the father treats the mother with contempt?

Look, not advising you to divorce. But his behavior is not ok. It's not love.

What would you want your daughter to do?

OP here - what will it do to the kids if we separate. i think they would take it hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay with a person whose love is conditional, based on your appearance?

because i have hope that he would see the value in the person that i am. don't know if he ever will, but it is hard to give up on that.

Past performance is the best predictor of future behavior.

I know how you can lose 175 pounds easily. Dump his ass. He's a conceited jerk who clearly doesn't like YOU. He likes the idea of a wife. Well life is to short to be saddled to people who don't like you.

Sorry OP.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay with a person whose love is conditional, based on your appearance?

because i have hope that he would see the value in the person that i am. don't know if he ever will, but it is hard to give up on that.

Why would you want to stay with a person whose love is conditional, based on your appearance?

He needs major therapy.