Sigh - I've seen them. They "practice" at home. Yes, completely idiotic and not my cup of tea.

My point is that was there perverse intent, or look-how-model-ready-your-daughter-looks intent. The former is criminal and the latter merely stupid, so rather big difference.

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

I may be dense here, but there are 2 things which bother me in this thread:

1. People on this thread are putting on par adult porn (and the open collecting of such) to pedophilic tendencies. Worlds apart. The first is tasteless but not abusive, the second, horrific.

2. What have you concluded was going on?
Did you father want this kind of parading and did he get a perverse thrill out of it, or did your mother? Or was it some sort of awkward, weird thing of your mother that she wanted a grown up girl who could dress and model provocatively, but without pedophilic intent?

I come from a European family where each family member dressed and showered in front of the other. No body shame or guilt or repression. However I can see perfectly that catwalking in lingerie in front of one's male family members can seem iffy, but then again, it depends on the context. Plenty of show-biz families do that kind of thing without a second thought.

So... only you can know, OP. It's just that throwing things out there without context just makes people assume the worst, which is not right for your parents if they are not guilty of that.

And as for your original vent - of course it's hard to see one's faults and easier to see others'! Everyone does this. We can only hope that our children do not resent us too much - we're bound to mess up at some point.

How could you possibly know an idiotic thing like that?!!!

OP,

I may be dense here, but there are 2 things which bother me in this thread:

1. People on this thread are putting on par adult porn (and the open collecting of such) to pedophilic tendencies. Worlds apart. The first is tasteless but not abusive, the second, horrific.

2. What have you concluded was going on?
Did you father want this kind of parading and did he get a perverse thrill out of it, or did your mother? Or was it some sort of awkward, weird thing of your mother that she wanted a grown up girl who could dress and model provocatively, but without pedophilic intent?

I come from a European family where each family member dressed and showered in front of the other. No body shame or guilt or repression. However I can see perfectly that catwalking in lingerie in front of one's male family members can seem iffy, but then again, it depends on the context. Plenty of show-biz families do that kind of thing without a second thought.

So... only you can know, OP. It's just that throwing things out there without context just makes people assume the worst, which is not right for your parents if they are not guilty of that.

And as for your original vent - of course it's hard to see one's faults and easier to see others'! Everyone does this. We can only hope that our children do not resent us too much - we're bound to mess up at some point.

OP you say things never crossed the line. I think things clearly crossed the line when mom had you wear see through panties in front of dad.

Anonymous wrote:My stepfather DID cross the line -- for years -- and my mother knows, is still married to him AND will sometimes say things like "Oh, I can't watch Law and Order. I can't bear any show about harming children."

Hang in there, OP. And feel free to hang up.

Same thing, but on a lesser scale. My mother spent YEARS saying, "I don't believe in spanking children," and my brother and I always asked, "But then why did you spank US?" and she'd claim we were both wrong. No we weren't. *I* have actually never spanked my child. Not her.

I'm just tired if her talking about my upbringing like she was the perfect parent.

I totally feel you on this. My father was an abusive, alcoholic narcissist who made our lives hell growing up. He killed himself when I was 20 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me and my siblings. You should hear the shit my mom says about other people's relationships or they're home life. I'm like WTF? Pisses me off. I said as much to her and she at least doesn't opine around me any more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My stepfather DID cross the line -- for years -- and my mother knows, is still married to him AND will sometimes say things like "Oh, I can't watch Law and Order. I can't bear any show about harming children."

Hang in there, OP. And feel free to hang up.

I'm 17:11 and this sounds familiar, too. It's almost like a dare. "I challenge you to say you were molested by your stepfather -- go ahead, i double dog dare you!" Even worse if it's at the dinner table in front of Thanksgiving guests.

I'm not worried about this because if somehow it ever comes up my family will believe me and not her, though I'm not sure she would even deny it. She's probably just make up some excuse and say she thought things were normal. I'm the calm one in the family so whenever I get upset people tend to listen because it doesn't happen often. I think after years of talking about it my father is completely embarrassed and feels very guilty because she was usually the one who initiated the talking. The porn, that just sat there and I think now he realizes how stupid it was to leave it out like it was Road and Track or something. Still lots to work on but making progress.

All of what you said seems directed at your mom, you haven't said much about your dad and your relationship with him.

I discuss the problems of my in-laws all the time. FFS. If you don't want me talking about it, don't tell me.

Anonymous wrote:You had no right to discuss the problems of your in laws. You are a gossip. If I were your in law and I found out you discussed my problem with your mother, the you-know-what would hit the fan.

Are you fucking illiterate? Her mom heard it from the inlaws, not her, you moron.