Another guy here - as others (guys) have said, the main thing we men care about is attractiveness and personality. We hate high maintenance and rightly or wrongly if we get a hint of that, no matter how hot a woman may be, we run in the other direction unless we're just looking for a romp in the sack.

You and your GFs may think you're nice, but when you're out, do you carry yourselves thinking you're all that? You may not think so but body language, attitude and just the way you comport yourselves non-verbally speaks volumes.

Do you or how many of your GFs have 'lists' - you the know, the endless criteria that a potential guy has to meet for you to even accept a date? Do you really know what you're looking for? You want to meet great guys? Stop looking in the wrong places - we don't hang out at bars/clubs every weekend.

I can say this as a single dad in my early 40s - I don't care for or have time for the typical BS that women put men through. I've met some terrific women in the last couple of years I've been dating again - the common thread is that these women are simply very cool and relaxed, we could talk about real things, they were comfortable with who they were and yes they were attractive. It was just easy to connect with each other. I've met/dated K st. types, academic types, feds, small business owners - mostly 35 years+ and some were single moms. I've met women in the grocery store, at my neighborhood dry cleaners, out when I'm jogging or even at museums or the playground when I'm with my kid - more often than not the women have made the first approach. What I'm saying is that it is easy to meet guys - are you and your friends really that open/approachable?

If you're not comfortable letting a man know you're interested you're definitely missing too many opportunities to meet guys. If you or your friends aren't happy with your lives no man can change that for you. It sounds like you are absolutely looking in the wrong places and I think there're perhaps more to it as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you all spend a lot of time in bars?

That's a terrible place to meet someone. I literally don't know anyone who's met their significant other in a bar, and most of my friends are married (probably 20-30 close-ish girlfriends).

Try sports, clubs, etc -- you're not going to find great guys at a bar.

+100. Almost everyone I know, myself included, met their spouse at a mutual friend's party, work, or (in my case and many others') sports. Team sports like softball/kickball, or lessons like golf/tennis/kayaking/hashers.

guy here - very true. cycling meet ups, running clubs, hiking/climbing clubs, phillips after 5 (art gallery), bookstores - this is where to find me.

PP guy here.

guys to get these ladies is also pretty easy....

LMS...Looks, Money, Status....these are the levers you must pull, and if you can't pull one or more, you better pull the remaining one really really hard.

So yes, these ladies WILL date blue collar guys but you better look like hugh jackman.

Or they will date surgeons even if they look like shrek and are one in hundreds at a hospital...

or will date broke and even 'ugly guys' but be a high status artist, official, well known in some way etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you all spend a lot of time in bars?

That's a terrible place to meet someone. I literally don't know anyone who's met their significant other in a bar, and most of my friends are married (probably 20-30 close-ish girlfriends).

Try sports, clubs, etc -- you're not going to find great guys at a bar.

+100. Almost everyone I know, myself included, met their spouse at a mutual friend's party, work, or (in my case and many others') sports. Team sports like softball/kickball, or lessons like golf/tennis/kayaking/hashers.

OP, it sounds like you all spend a lot of time in bars?

That's a terrible place to meet someone. I literally don't know anyone who's met their significant other in a bar, and most of my friends are married (probably 20-30 close-ish girlfriends).

Try sports, clubs, etc -- you're not going to find great guys at a bar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

guy here. well yes, in dc there are more single women than men in 25-34 range. it has the worst statistics for any city in the country according to bloomberg. you would be swimming in guys in sf or seattle. however, i have a feeling that the OP and DC women would be frustrated there as well (as proven by the recent article by a woman lamenting about 'amazon' killing her sex life).

guy's are pretty simple.

look pretty, be nice.

i've dated a high-school educated nanny (american born, though really smart - just never went to college), a harvard educated ophthalmology resident, a MIT educated strategy consultant, the barista at starbucks....and they all had two things in common - they were pretty and nice people.

you said your friends are ' cool, smart, fun'....it is telling that you never said if they were nice, not status hungry bitches, nurturing, loving, etc.

and the age thing does matter (not as much to me, but i don't care if i have kids or not) - but when people like that princeton alum who wrote about women should find a good man at a younger age, then other women yell at her for saying some home truths.

They are definitely nice - to me, that is a required attribute to be considered "cool" and "fun." None are "status-hungry bitches" - that's not my crowd. Most are nurturing/loving/very much want kids and adore their pet(s) and families. A couple are really competitive and type A, but only a couple. A couple try too hard to force a relationship too early bc their age has them very anxious. So I can understand what goes wrong there. But most really are great. I don't know - I guess I'm just saying that the demographics here mean that a woman can be pretty, smart, and nice and still remain single indefinitely. I see it all the time. I think they should move out of DC but that's just me.

if dating is a numbers game (and some of it is), then yeah as i said they would have better 'odds' in sf and seattle or denver.....but east coast women in general aren't all that happy with the guys in seattle and sf.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

guy here. well yes, in dc there are more single women than men in 25-34 range. it has the worst statistics for any city in the country according to bloomberg. you would be swimming in guys in sf or seattle. however, i have a feeling that the OP and DC women would be frustrated there as well (as proven by the recent article by a woman lamenting about 'amazon' killing her sex life).

guy's are pretty simple.

look pretty, be nice.

i've dated a high-school educated nanny (american born, though really smart - just never went to college), a harvard educated ophthalmology resident, a MIT educated strategy consultant, the barista at starbucks....and they all had two things in common - they were pretty and nice people.

you said your friends are ' cool, smart, fun'....it is telling that you never said if they were nice, not status hungry bitches, nurturing, loving, etc.

and the age thing does matter (not as much to me, but i don't care if i have kids or not) - but when people like that princeton alum who wrote about women should find a good man at a younger age, then other women yell at her for saying some home truths.

OP here, you are right I didn't specify that these women, especially the healthcare providers, hate humanity! Of course I'm kidding. Nurturing, caring, interesting and nice people. Beautiful inside & out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

Being young and fun doesn't mean you're attractive. Pretty is definitely in the eye of the beholder but DC is full of intelligent women who just aren't that "pretty". Unfortunately many of those highly intelligent, successful women also think they look better than they do. Instead of hanging out at swanky lounges, go to a bar where the men are winding down from a week of hard physical labor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

guy here. well yes, in dc there are more single women than men in 25-34 range. it has the worst statistics for any city in the country according to bloomberg. you would be swimming in guys in sf or seattle. however, i have a feeling that the OP and DC women would be frustrated there as well (as proven by the recent article by a woman lamenting about 'amazon' killing her sex life).

guy's are pretty simple.

look pretty, be nice.

i've dated a high-school educated nanny (american born, though really smart - just never went to college), a harvard educated ophthalmology resident, a MIT educated strategy consultant, the barista at starbucks....and they all had two things in common - they were pretty and nice people.

you said your friends are ' cool, smart, fun'....it is telling that you never said if they were nice, not status hungry bitches, nurturing, loving, etc.

and the age thing does matter (not as much to me, but i don't care if i have kids or not) - but when people like that princeton alum who wrote about women should find a good man at a younger age, then other women yell at her for saying some home truths.

They are definitely nice - to me, that is a required attribute to be considered "cool" and "fun." None are "status-hungry bitches" - that's not my crowd. Most are nurturing/loving/very much want kids and adore their pet(s) and families. A couple are really competitive and type A, but only a couple. A couple try too hard to force a relationship too early bc their age has them very anxious. So I can understand what goes wrong there. But most really are great. I don't know - I guess I'm just saying that the demographics here mean that a woman can be pretty, smart, and nice and still remain single indefinitely. I see it all the time. I think they should move out of DC but that's just me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

guy here. well yes, in dc there are more single women than men in 25-34 range. it has the worst statistics for any city in the country according to bloomberg. you would be swimming in guys in sf or seattle. however, i have a feeling that the OP and DC women would be frustrated there as well (as proven by the recent article by a woman lamenting about 'amazon' killing her sex life).

guy's are pretty simple.

look pretty, be nice.

i've dated a high-school educated nanny (american born, though really smart - just never went to college), a harvard educated ophthalmology resident, a MIT educated strategy consultant, the barista at starbucks....and they all had two things in common - they were pretty and nice people.

you said your friends are ' cool, smart, fun'....it is telling that you never said if they were nice, not status hungry bitches, nurturing, loving, etc.

and the age thing does matter (not as much to me, but i don't care if i have kids or not) - but when people like that princeton alum who wrote about women should find a good man at a younger age, then other women yell at her for saying some home truths.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 brothers One is a 37 year old orthopedist and the other is a 29 year old electrician. Care to guess who has more financial freedom?

47 year old orthopedist vs. 39 year old electrician (unless he owns are huge business) is where the separation starts to occur. i assume your 37 year old brother has a big student loan nut still over his head.

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

NP here, and I agree with all of this. But enlighten us - what do men find attractive? Besides youth, which the OP and everyone else can't control? Or is that really pretty much it? I'm curious. I know many cool, smart, fun single women and I've pretty much concluded that there are just way more of them here than there are single 30-something men.

Anonymous wrote:Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.

We don't hang out with married men, but it seems like all the men in bars lie to us about being married. Single, straight guys seem very rare. I'm not saying anything about us being the shit I'm just saying there seems to be a real shortage of men. What am I missing?

The professional men with high paying jobs have women lined up to get them.

Women are not the best judge of what men find attractive in women. So you may think you and all your girlfriends are the shit, but the results say something else. Why are you and your friends hanging around married men? By the way, the married men who hit on women are not being selective.