Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 18:35     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:I am seeing a trend of being relatively inexperienced in the romance department. I wonder if it's possible to be head over heals in love in a long-term marriage if you've had too many other experiences to compare it to? What do you all think? I will say most of the happily marrieds I know met in their high school/college years and are in their 50s now. There are exceptions, but my friends who married later in life seem to have the most marital issues.


Im not sure if this is the case. I think it has to do with meeting someone when you are still emotionally flexible and can grow with the person. My DH and I met and have been monogamous with each other since we were 20 & 21. We married when we were 26 & 27. We are 36 &37 now and have practically "grown up" together. I can't fathom having to adjust to someone after living alone until my mid 30s. Same as, I could not imagine getting a divorce or the death of my spouse and having to find another life partner. I know i would have a hard time dealing with someone new and their new habits. My DH is great, he gives me so much space and lets me be me. He is never critical. Since we have been together since we were so young, we feel so comfortable together. I did a stupid naked dance booty pop last night that was so absurd. He secretly videotaped me and we were rolling on the floor laughing. I can't imagine being comfortable enough with another man to act so idiotic fully naked.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 15:22     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am seeing a trend of being relatively inexperienced in the romance department. I wonder if it's possible to be head over heals in love in a long-term marriage if you've had too many other experiences to compare it to? What do you all think? I will say most of the happily marrieds I know met in their high school/college years and are in their 50s now. There are exceptions, but my friends who married later in life seem to have the most marital issues.


I posted earlier about being with my DH for 7 years before we got married. Before then I slept with...oh...20 guys? give or take? I'm absolutely sure that my DH is the one for me. It's just about the person and how you grow together. The hard part of relationships is that they are made up of humans, and as a species, we're just not perfect.


I was with my DH for 3 years before we married at 25. Been married for almost 8 years now, still crazy about each other, and now have two small kids. I also had quite a bit of experience before meeting DH, and he did too, though not quite as much.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 15:15     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:I am seeing a trend of being relatively inexperienced in the romance department. I wonder if it's possible to be head over heals in love in a long-term marriage if you've had too many other experiences to compare it to? What do you all think? I will say most of the happily marrieds I know met in their high school/college years and are in their 50s now. There are exceptions, but my friends who married later in life seem to have the most marital issues.


I posted earlier about being with my DH for 7 years before we got married. Before then I slept with...oh...20 guys? give or take? I'm absolutely sure that my DH is the one for me. It's just about the person and how you grow together. The hard part of relationships is that they are made up of humans, and as a species, we're just not perfect.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 15:07     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Knew each other forever- friends first.
Got together at 22, DW was a huge party girl with tons of experience, she was my first and so far only; she still doesn't know. Together 18 years and I wouldn't change a thing...well one or two extra sex partners would've been nice to have a frame of reference.


Same here, only I'm female. We were friends for over a year, he was more experienced, and he was my first and only. (PP, how does your wife not know that? Didn't she ever ask about your prior relationships? Why wouldn't you want her to know?)

Started dating him at 19 when I'd really only dated for a few months before that (late bloomer). After 4 years of dating, I married him when I was 23. That was over 21 years and four kids ago.


We were in the same social circles and she was very aware of who I was dating, she just assumed I was having sex with my girlfriends; but I actually wasn't.
I've tried telling her the truth but she doesn't believe me because she knows more than half of the girls I was with. You wouldn't know it to look at me or talk to me but I suffered from astounding performance anxiety mixed with a heavy load of catholic guilt.

I was (sorta still am) handsome, funny, did tons of coke, partied at clubs all over NYC; mine was not the life of a virgin who was basically scared of girls. I carried on without ever being with anyone until one night she and I ran into each other and started kissing. Three nights later we were at my parents house and she just hopped on top of me and became my first. I loved her from afar for the previous 5 years and it all just clicked into place. In a weird way it seemed like deep down I was saving my self for her. (This sounds so f..ing lame!)
Together 18 years and I couldn't imagine being any happier but occasionally I do wish I could've let myself get close to another woman once or twice.

Wow, this is the first time I've ever gotten this story out, feels good. Thanks for asking.


Aw new pp here. You sound adorable!
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 15:02     Subject: For those happily married
I am seeing a trend of being relatively inexperienced in the romance department. I wonder if it's possible to be head over heals in love in a long-term marriage if you've had too many other experiences to compare it to? What do you all think? I will say most of the happily marrieds I know met in their high school/college years and are in their 50s now. There are exceptions, but my friends who married later in life seem to have the most marital issues.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 15:02     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:Met DH at 18, dated for 6 years and then married at 25. We have been married 5 years now. We had each had one long term relationship, I had one previous partner, he had had two. We are still very happily married.

PP here- I guess by "long term" I mean as long term as you get when you're 17- so a year or two...
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 14:59     Subject: For those happily married
Met DH at 18, dated for 6 years and then married at 25. We have been married 5 years now. We had each had one long term relationship, I had one previous partner, he had had two. We are still very happily married.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 14:54     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Knew each other forever- friends first.
Got together at 22, DW was a huge party girl with tons of experience, she was my first and so far only; she still doesn't know. Together 18 years and I wouldn't change a thing...well one or two extra sex partners would've been nice to have a frame of reference.


Same here, only I'm female. We were friends for over a year, he was more experienced, and he was my first and only. (PP, how does your wife not know that? Didn't she ever ask about your prior relationships? Why wouldn't you want her to know?)

Started dating him at 19 when I'd really only dated for a few months before that (late bloomer). After 4 years of dating, I married him when I was 23. That was over 21 years and four kids ago.


We were in the same social circles and she was very aware of who I was dating, she just assumed I was having sex with my girlfriends; but I actually wasn't.
I've tried telling her the truth but she doesn't believe me because she knows more than half of the girls I was with. You wouldn't know it to look at me or talk to me but I suffered from astounding performance anxiety mixed with a heavy load of catholic guilt.

I was (sorta still am) handsome, funny, did tons of coke, partied at clubs all over NYC; mine was not the life of a virgin who was basically scared of girls. I carried on without ever being with anyone until one night she and I ran into each other and started kissing. Three nights later we were at my parents house and she just hopped on top of me and became my first. I loved her from afar for the previous 5 years and it all just clicked into place. In a weird way it seemed like deep down I was saving my self for her. (This sounds so f..ing lame!)
Together 18 years and I couldn't imagine being any happier but occasionally I do wish I could've let myself get close to another woman once or twice.

Wow, this is the first time I've ever gotten this story out, feels good. Thanks for asking.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 14:53     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:Married at 26, he was my only relationship and my only lover. He had other relationships prior to our relationship. Married 9 years. We dated for a year and three months then got married.

Why wait when its the right person?


So glad I am not the only one who has DH as her only lover and only serious relationship (I dated casually before him but nothing even remotely serious). I am not particularly religious, we just met young and I was brought up in a fairly socially conservative family so wasn't going to have sex unless in a committed relationship. I've had close friends ask if I regret not having other partners (DH has had a couple before me but was hardly a playboy) but I am very satisfied with DH and our love life, so no.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 13:59     Subject: For those happily married
We were 24 and 26. Each others 2nd partners. Neither of us had any previous serious relationships. Met when we were 19 and 20 (just 19 and just shy of 21). Married almost 8 years now.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 00:33     Subject: For those happily married
Met DH at 19, dated him for 6 years and married at 25. We were each other's first and only relationship and sexual partner - till this day.

We were virgins on our wedding night. We also overcame a lot of opposition to our getting married from our families. What worked for us was the fact that we stayed true to each other for 3 years when we were in different countries and could meet each other only for a couple of days each year.

We also were pursuing different careers and were quite successful at it. I had to change careers after I married so that we could stay together.

I am very glad that we were not sexually active before marriage because that prevented us from missing sex when we were apart.

Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 00:15     Subject: For those happily married
Anonymous wrote:Knew each other forever- friends first.
Got together at 22, DW was a huge party girl with tons of experience, she was my first and so far only; she still doesn't know. Together 18 years and I wouldn't change a thing...well one or two extra sex partners would've been nice to have a frame of reference.


Same here, only I'm female. We were friends for over a year, he was more experienced, and he was my first and only. (PP, how does your wife not know that? Didn't she ever ask about your prior relationships? Why wouldn't you want her to know?)

Started dating him at 19 when I'd really only dated for a few months before that (late bloomer). After 4 years of dating, I married him when I was 23. That was over 21 years and four kids ago.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 00:15     Subject: For those happily married
Married high school sweetheart, almost broke up in college, married after graduation...12 years later we have 3 kids under age 4, a dog, and homeowners. Best friends and spouses.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2014 00:06     Subject: For those happily married
Married at 26, he was my only relationship and my only lover. He had other relationships prior to our relationship. Married 9 years. We dated for a year and three months then got married.

Why wait when its the right person?
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2014 16:03     Subject: For those happily married
Knew each other forever- friends first.
Got together at 22, DW was a huge party girl with tons of experience, she was my first and so far only; she still doesn't know. Together 18 years and I wouldn't change a thing...well one or two extra sex partners would've been nice to have a frame of reference.