Anonymous
07/10/2014 07:02
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...
Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?
There's annoying everyday BS we put up with annoying families, and then there's tears of relief when you drop them off. Never in a million years would I put myself in a position to CRY with relief when family leaves. There's a huge difference.
Maybe she loves her family and having them in her life makes her feel loved and happy most of the time, but big visits are too much. Sometimes in a relationship, you have to love them in the way they need (big family events) in order to get the love that you need (involved and supportive family) the other 50 weeks out of the year.
Anonymous
07/10/2014 06:26
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:OP, why does your mom stress you out?
OP, I can relate. My mom is here this week, and I've been crying every day. She's controlling and critical of everything I do. I'm having flashbacks to my teenage years when I lived at home. She was supposed to be helping out with the new baby, but now she's taken over every aspect of my day. I just want it to be Sunday.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 09:45
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...
Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?
There's a big difference between seeing family all at once, a few times a year (which I think is OP's situation, it sounds like it was a special event that ended up being overwhelming) and the first PP's situation, where family comes 1-2wks EVERY MONTH.
I love my family and see them weekly, we vacation together 1-2x/yr, I talk to my mom at least once a day and sometimes more, my sister is my best friend, we all have keys to each other's houses, etc. But there is NO way I could handle having them stay with me for 1-2wks every month. Everyone likes having their own space and routine.
Anonymous
06/26/2014 06:12
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
OP, why does your mom stress you out?
Anonymous
06/26/2014 03:57
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...
[b]Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?
Life is too short to be around people who make you miserable. Just because you're family doesn't give you the right to make my life a living Hell. People who are used to living a peaceful and drama free life don't want to bring toxic into their homes. Some of us love stress free lifestyles and home environments. [/b] If you have relatives that are leaving you in tears like the OP, then you need to evaluate how much you want to interact with them.
To the OP, your peace of mind and your sanity is more important than dealing with relatives who make your life miserable. It's not fair to you at all. Maybe having them stay in a hotel will work out much better during their next visit. That way you only have to see then during the day, but you could return each evening to your home away from them.
Amen. I love the happy and peaceful home I have with my DH and children. I used to yearn for it in my youth. We visit our relatives and stay in a hotel. It works perfectly.
Anonymous
06/24/2014 23:11
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...
Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?
Life is too short to be around people who make you miserable. Just because you're family doesn't give you the right to make my life a living Hell. People who are used to living a peaceful and drama free life don't want to bring toxic into their homes. Some of us love stress free lifestyles and home environments. If you have relatives that are leaving you in tears like the OP, then you need to evaluate how much you want to interact with them.
To the OP, your peace of mind and your sanity is more important than dealing with relatives who make your life miserable. It's not fair to you at all. Maybe having them stay in a hotel will work out much better during their next visit. That way you only have to see then during the day, but you could return each evening to your home away from them.
Anonymous
06/24/2014 22:53
Subject: Re:Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
They will either have to stay in a hotel or don't come to visit. I wouldn't put up with that crap. You put your foot down and tell them how you feel. If they don't like it, then you distance yourself away from them. Some relatives are best to love from afar. Establishing boundaries does wonders.
Anonymous
06/24/2014 22:49
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
Exactly!
Anonymous
06/24/2014 12:54
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
I had my dad and stepmom stay with us one time for two weeks. It will never happen again. They are drug addicts, and while they are loving grandparents, two weeks of their issues in our house was horrendous. I think it's important to keep up family relationships, but sometimes you need boundaries. So now we will have them for three days, max, one a year. Or even better, we will meet them at a vacation locale somewhere. I try to show my appreciation for them by sending them frequent packages of stuff from the kids, having phone calls every couple weeks, and then planning a gathering once a year.
Anonymous
06/23/2014 19:46
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Annoying teens grow up and hopefully develop into lovely people. The adult relatives you've known for two decades are longer are unlikely to change.
Anonymous
06/23/2014 19:39
Subject: Cried tears of relief after dropping my family off at the airport...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!
Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.
I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.
LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...
Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?
There's annoying everyday BS we put up with annoying families, and then there's tears of relief when you drop them off. Never in a million years would I put myself in a position to CRY with relief when family leaves. There's a huge difference.