Anonymous wrote:Did I miss OP saying what the fights were about? Context does matter. If she feels you don't appreciate her or that you're putting her down, and she's really fed up with it, then she's warning you. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Nice how you assume it was a failing on his part, and that he needs to straighten up or she'll cheat on him. Talk about manipulation.

Did I miss OP saying what the fights were about? Context does matter. If she feels you don't appreciate her or that you're putting her down, and she's really fed up with it, then she's warning you. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Anonymous wrote:I've said stuff like this to my DH in fights. Totally didn't do anything but I wanted to piss him off and get a reaction bc I know I'll get one. Trust your gut and your wife. If you think she would then she wouldn't. It's different to 'flirt' or get attention then to actually make a move.

Women, do not ever say this just to test him. It will ruin most men for a long, long time. He will agonize over it, feel inadequate, and will never forget it. Choose your words carefully even in arguments.

Women have no idea how hurtful some things they say are. And once you say them, the men will NEVER forget it. It will always be in the back of his mind and fuel doubt.

Here's the deal. As men, even though we may fully trust our partners, we know that they are being pursued on a daily basis by other men. And that friendships and work relationships are outside of our control.

So the instant we get a hint that she is spending extra time with another man or showing unusual interest or whatever, time to cue the flood of concern.

Dude, I feel for you. It's an awful feeling. I wish you good luck and hope you don't agonize over this too much.

Anonymous wrote:You got two options...

You can hyper-focus on this one thing your wife said that didn't even happen, she just said it could have happened, and let it get you all stressed out and bent out of shape and basically invite all kinds of drama and chaos into your life

OR

You can not be a dumb ass.

+1

Along with the second choice, OP should redouble his efforts to make his marriage work. That also means being honest with her in wanting to make it work. My DH and I are successful because we know we want "till death do us part," and work towards the goal of having a good marriage. A happy marriage doesn't happen by accident, it takes work.

When women say things like this, they've already emotionally cheated and left the relationship and instead of being an adult about it, she wants you to feel she's taken the high road by "settling" for you and your marriage vows.

This is no different from an abusive man telling his wife that she was spared a beating except for his remarkable ability for self control.

Time to have a serious sit down with her or show her ass to the door.

I think we all have almost cheated at one point or another. If she is bringing it up to help talk about how the relationship between you and her is repairing or how bad it was at one point that it one thing, but the way she is talking about it, it almost seems like she's using it as a weapon. Like, "I could have left you but your just so lucky that I'm here." - that's not cool.

If she did cheat on you there is nothing you could do about it at this point. If she keeps bringing it up I would point blank ask her what her intentions are why she is bringing it up.

Sorry you are going through this.

My marriage went through a horrible time and I almost cheated. I am so glad that I didn't and that I stuck with my marriage.

No "confronting". Think the best. Time will pass, and if you share positive interactions this will just be a blip. I would stop bringing it up -that goes for the internet especially.