OP,

Let's start with the obvious. When she asks these questions, reply,

"No, why do you ask?"
"No, I'm feeling fine, why do you ask?"

Then listen. If she says, just wondering, or thought you looked sad/off, just thank her for showing concern and but she doesn't need to worry.

Seriously, OP, I grew up with a hoarder mother. You have been living on easy street.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is long passed away so my best advice to you is to remember that there will come a day OP when you will actually miss her asking her how your marriage is doing, etc.

Sad, but true.

You only have one mother.

This is your life PP. My condolences about your mom. But this has nothing to do with OP. Responses like this are not helpful as they attempt to distract from the issue at hand AND blame the potential victim.

What issue and what victim? The OP is as much a victim as is her mom's a bitch. But thanks for trying to police the forum, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is long passed away so my best advice to you is to remember that there will come a day OP when you will actually miss her asking her how your marriage is doing, etc.

Sad, but true.

You only have one mother.

I lost my mom a long time ago too, and used to feel similarly when people complained about their mothers.

Then I met my mil. Not all mom's are emotionally healthy people. Some are very difficult and challenging, and just because we miss our moms, doesn't mean that every mother is a blessing to her chi?d.

Sorry you're dealing with this, op. I love pp's strategy of turning the question back on her. That may open her eyes as to how annoying her behavior really is.

My mother died 4 years ago. It was the best thing that every happened to me. Not everyone feels like you do, PP. Not every mother deserves it.

"So, are you pregnant? Because really you should not have more children!"

"So, how's your weight? Running after your DD, you must have lost, no? What d'you mean, you eat well? So you're gaining?!?!"

"DD is a good eater? Oh no, she must be getting so chubby! You should really watch what she eats, otherwise she'll be fat!"

"DS looks perfectly healthy to me. Oh, he can't be at the 3rd percentile for weight, he's just right!

"What's ADHD? You mean DS is ..................... not normal? Like, stupid??? Well, he didn't get that from our side of the family!"

"Your husband is unemployed? Oh no. You ruined your life."

All things my mother has said, many times, preferably when she knows I'm down.

Which is why I don't see her more than once a year, for a few days.

My mom was like this. Happy to hear anything about troubles in my life, disinterested about hearing good news about my life. Stop sharing with her.

Anonymous wrote:My mother is long passed away so my best advice to you is to remember that there will come a day OP when you will actually miss her asking her how your marriage is doing, etc.

Sad, but true.

You only have one mother.

This is your life PP. My condolences about your mom. But this has nothing to do with OP. Responses like this are not helpful as they attempt to distract from the issue at hand AND blame the potential victim.

She should not be your confidant. Doesn't sound like she is, luckily you haven't made her such. The image of yourself which she wants to project back to you is not a positive one. Not saying she's a bad person, but not every person is good for us. Limit one-on-one time, no heart-to-heart talks. See her mostly in groups.

Anonymous wrote:My mother is long passed away so my best advice to you is to remember that there will come a day OP when you will actually miss her asking her how your marriage is doing, etc.

Sad, but true.

You only have one mother.

I lost my mom a long time ago too, and used to feel similarly when people complained about their mothers.

Then I met my mil. Not all mom's are emotionally healthy people. Some are very difficult and challenging, and just because we miss our moms, doesn't mean that every mother is a blessing to her chi?d.

Sorry you're dealing with this, op. I love pp's strategy of turning the question back on her. That may open her eyes as to how annoying her behavior really is.