Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 14:10     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Seriously a thread about people being "mean" on an anon internet forum! People are MEAN on DCUM. LOL!

Dumbest. thread. ever.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 14:03     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind


I gently suggest that if it takes "many" brusque posts for you to consider what someone has said, you have other issues. Personally, I have no problem with brusque/to the point posts. But we're not talking about those. We're discussing mean and rude posts. The examples listed abouve are rude. It communicates to me the responder isn't really interested in providing assistance, she's interested in snark. That's not been the way of the SN forum which is usually to provide assistance/insight/another POV, even if it's not what the OP wants to hear. That can all be done in a polite, civil manner. It would be a shame if the norms of the SN forum devolved to those of General Parenting.




I gently suggest that you also have issues and should work on growing a thicker skin
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 14:02     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind


I gently suggest that if it takes "many" brusque posts for you to consider what someone has said, you have other issues. Personally, I have no problem with brusque/to the point posts. But we're not talking about those. We're discussing mean and rude posts. The examples listed abouve are rude. It communicates to me the responder isn't really interested in providing assistance, she's interested in snark. That's not been the way of the SN forum which is usually to provide assistance/insight/another POV, even if it's not what the OP wants to hear. That can all be done in a polite, civil manner. It would be a shame if the norms of the SN forum devolved to those of General Parenting.




Are you planning on rating the posts so that it meets your standard of "polite and civil", brusque but ok b/c it imparts information, too snarky, etc.? Maybe you should start your own forum...
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 14:00     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind


I gently suggest that if it takes "many" brusque posts for you to consider what someone has said, you have other issues. Personally, I have no problem with brusque/to the point posts. But we're not talking about those. We're discussing mean and rude posts. The examples listed abouve are rude. It communicates to me the responder isn't really interested in providing assistance, she's interested in snark. That's not been the way of the SN forum which is usually to provide assistance/insight/another POV, even if it's not what the OP wants to hear. That can all be done in a polite, civil manner. It would be a shame if the norms of the SN forum devolved to those of General Parenting.




I think you need to grow tougher skin. I'm sure pp was exaggerating a bit with the "many". Oh wait....your post was rude! Or did you think the "I gently suggest" makes it not rude? Seriously, get some thicker skin
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:58     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
I think a lot has to do with personality. I do not see anything that bad about the medicine post comments. But I'm also the type of person that hates hand holding, wants to be told straight with no sugar coating, etc. for instance, if I'm acting like a bitch, I have no problem with you calling me a bitch. There are people who are a lot more sensitive than me. I'm sure sometimes my to the point answers are seen as rude to them. I don't intend them that way, it's just how I would want someone to answer me.

On an anon and open forum, I think there has to be give and take from both sides. The non hand holders need to remember their to the point responses can be seen as harsh by those more sensitive. Those more sensitive need to realize that not all the to the point posts are meant to be rude or mean.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:57     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind


I gently suggest that if it takes "many" brusque posts for you to consider what someone has said, you have other issues. Personally, I have no problem with brusque/to the point posts. But we're not talking about those. We're discussing mean and rude posts. The examples listed abouve are rude. It communicates to me the responder isn't really interested in providing assistance, she's interested in snark. That's not been the way of the SN forum which is usually to provide assistance/insight/another POV, even if it's not what the OP wants to hear. That can all be done in a polite, civil manner. It would be a shame if the norms of the SN forum devolved to those of General Parenting.


Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:43     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind


Same here. I came to this forum a few yrs ago when my DS's school suggested he needed an evaluation and I was overwrought (and people here told me so too ). This forum got me through the process and IEP, suggested a developmental pediatrician and other therapists and evaluators/educational consultants, a godsend for a SN parent. I like people telling me "how they see it" b/c it's been very helpful.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:27     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.


Agree. Actually, there have been many brusque, to the point posts (similar to the examples from the prescription post) that have woken me out of my over reactionary, making a bigger deal than necessary, state of mind
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:26     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
I come here for information not civility. Frankly, I find the brusque and to the point posts with useful information much more helpful than the whining about how a post does not sound nice.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:24     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
This morning I got up early -- around 4:00 and I actually had to report several responses which Jeff deleted. The tone was not only nasty, but said not nice things about SN.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 13:18     Subject: Re:Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find that more posts don't respond to what the OP wrote/asked. that people with no experience with what the OP asked are responding or that they respond in an 'amped up' way (see http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/390999.page). I expect those kinds of repsonses in GP/OT but responses in the SN forum used to be more measured. The OP would still be told she was overreacting but in a more calm manner - the same manner I use with my kids. Being so reactive doesn't calm/defuse a situation and it seemed that approach used to be the norm of this forum. I miss it.

Those responses aren't bad at all


Two out of the seven responses are definitely what I would call out of the norm for the forum:

"How does this happen? Lady, do you know how many mistakes are made each year with regard to prescriptions?"

"My god. A doctor is human? The horrors."

The tone of the third borderred on it (and although I wouldn't expect a doctor to memorize a chart, I would expect her to check it before refilling a prescription).
"I would certainly not stop seeing a doctor whom I liked and trusted. Is she supposed to be a robot? Is she supposed to memorize your son's chart?"

Of course, maybe your perception is different if you're from a different part of the country. For example, I understand people from New York can come across as brusque/rude. But, typically, the tone in this forum had been more civil and considered.

Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 12:43     Subject: Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Many of them were not nice, IMO...asking what they are doing. Oh probably tiptoeing around his triggers. Those are just the latest!


I agree that comment was snarky, a little mean, but probably true, sadly.

Having read every post in that thread, it's troubling that a mom whose kid is going to entering K is more concerned about coverage for the summer than the bigger picture. This kid has been kicked out of Easter Seals and turned down by Auburn. The parents need a long term plan to address the behavioral issues not just a plan to get through the summer.

Over the last several months there's a poster who tries to police the "niceness" of the forum and that's more annoying than the snark.[/quote]

+1000 Like they are the self-appointed hall monitor on an anon internet forum. Makes me
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 12:30     Subject: Re:Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
Anonymous wrote:I find that more posts don't respond to what the OP wrote/asked. that people with no experience with what the OP asked are responding or that they respond in an 'amped up' way (see http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/390999.page). I expect those kinds of repsonses in GP/OT but responses in the SN forum used to be more measured. The OP would still be told she was overreacting but in a more calm manner - the same manner I use with my kids. Being so reactive doesn't calm/defuse a situation and it seemed that approach used to be the norm of this forum. I miss it.

Those responses aren't bad at all
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 12:28     Subject: Re:Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
I find that more posts don't respond to what the OP wrote/asked. that people with no experience with what the OP asked are responding or that they respond in an 'amped up' way (see http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/390999.page). I expect those kinds of repsonses in GP/OT but responses in the SN forum used to be more measured. The OP would still be told she was overreacting but in a more calm manner - the same manner I use with my kids. Being so reactive doesn't calm/defuse a situation and it seemed that approach used to be the norm of this forum. I miss it.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2014 10:20     Subject: Re:Is it just me or are people on this board getting really mean?
My feeling on this is -- who cares? i have to deal with school system b.s, uncertainty about my child's medical treatment, and of coure the very painful fact that my child is not doing all that well. So if people are harsh on this forum, that' kind of the least of my problems.