Anonymous wrote:You can't change your mind after 10 years? Jeez. Word to potential SAHMs--apparently if you decide to stay home when your kids are little, you are giving up your right to renegotiate at any point in the future.

Anonymous wrote:At the risk of being rude, it kind of makes me mad that when there are so few "unskilled" jobs like these to go around for the people who truly need them, someone with a HHI of $1M is taking one to avoid being bored.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was a mutual decision to quit my job when DC#1 was born.

He says that since our HHI is > $1M a year, there's no reason for me to work. He just doesn't understand my desire to do something for myself after 10 years of focusing on children.

You're not being ridiculous, but you are being a little unreasonable.

First of all: there are MANY ways in which one can go about doing something for themselves. You aren't looking for a career. You're looking to get out of the house.

You state that you made a "mutual decision" but then you go on about how your husband isn't putting in his share. If you truly made a mutual decision, he may have been under the impression that you were on board and where you are now is just as much your fault as it is his fault. He doesn't now owe you some backtrack because he didn't do you a favor "allowing" you to stay home. It's what you also wanted. Now that your kids are older you view him as doing what he wanted, and you sacrificing your career, but really you made a CHOICE to stay home because that's what you wanted at the time. You can't just expect that now he is fine with you going back to work when he is pulling in an ENORMOUS income. If he's built this type of career, I can assure you as other posters have, he can't just "Daddy track" now. I am not sure you really understand after 10 years out what is involved in having and keeping a career moving. You might not want to outsource because youre children rely on you for Parental support, which outsourcing will not provide. You can't send a Nanny in your place for "Parents Day" at school.

You have to decide what you want your life to look like and build your workplace off of that. All good working Moms do that. The partnership in my home is more equal than what you describe, but we made the mutual decision that I would work. My husband makes maybe 1/10th of what yours does. Working is not my hobby. You're in an enviable position, which is why so many posters are getting snippy with you. But it doesn't make your situation any less frustrating from your seat.

I will tell you that every Mom I know with any sort of teaching background is looking to work as a paraeducator ora substitute. I have no idea what the market is for that type of thing, but I can see it quickly saturating. I like that you're looking for entry level admin jobs, because it shows that you don't expect to just walk in and work asif you'd never left, but you're going to have a hard time getting in that way. Volunteering can help you because you'll show you are willing to work and you can get some emotional satisfaction while you build work experience. There is more than one way to go about doing something. You'll figure something out. But don't make your husband the person you blame. This was a joint decision and its not worth ruining your marraige over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would either start my own business (think of a hobby you like and make a business out of it) or go back to graduate school to pursue a career that you could do part-time on your own schedule. Like becoming a licensed professional counselor or something. You can have your own part-time practice. It does not pay a ton as a career, but you don't need the money and you would be helping people.

I would not work a full-time job in your situation. I really don't think it will give you fulfillment you desire. I think you need to look at work in a different light. You have the opportunity to take the time to do meaningful work on a part-time basis because you don't NEED a full time job. Your DH is right...all your earnings would basically be going to the tax man...so find something you want to do for yourself and do that. Being an administrative assistant is not going to give you a sense of meaning and it is just going to put more $ in Uncle Sam's pocket. Also, I would not ask DH to adjust his role...he is making all of that money. You have to be financial equals (or almost) for him to make that kind of sacrifice.

This would be what I'd do in your shoes.

Anonymous wrote:I would either start my own business (think of a hobby you like and make a business out of it) or go back to graduate school to pursue a career that you could do part-time on your own schedule. Like becoming a licensed professional counselor or something. You can have your own part-time practice. It does not pay a ton as a career, but you don't need the money and you would be helping people.

I would not work a full-time job in your situation. I really don't think it will give you fulfillment you desire. I think you need to look at work in a different light. You have the opportunity to take the time to do meaningful work on a part-time basis because you don't NEED a full time job. Your DH is right...all your earnings would basically be going to the tax man...so find something you want to do for yourself and do that. Being an administrative assistant is not going to give you a sense of meaning and it is just going to put more $ in Uncle Sam's pocket. Also, I would not ask DH to adjust his role...he is making all of that money. You have to be financial equals (or almost) for him to make that kind of sacrifice.

Anonymous wrote:It was a mutual decision to quit my job when DC#1 was born.

He says that since our HHI is > $1M a year, there's no reason for me to work. He just doesn't understand my desire to do something for myself after 10 years of focusing on children.