Anonymous
Post 06/08/2014 10:37     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:24 years here and both faithful. Even when we've been out of sync physically for various reasons, new baby, work stress, etc. we openly communicate about it- we talk about things constantly. Morals and respect in addition to our love for one another and our family play a role too. We all have opportunities to stray but neither of us see that as an option if we want to maintain our life together. We want to grow old together, raise our family together. We like, love and lust one another. We thank each other regularly for the things we each do for each other for our family. We consider ourselves lucky.


Sounds a lot like us. I'm the poster from above that has been married for 9 years. I think it has a lot to do with the mindset and values.
Anonymous
Post 06/08/2014 05:59     Subject: Faithful men and women
24 years here and both faithful. Even when we've been out of sync physically for various reasons, new baby, work stress, etc. we openly communicate about it- we talk about things constantly. Morals and respect in addition to our love for one another and our family play a role too. We all have opportunities to stray but neither of us see that as an option if we want to maintain our life together. We want to grow old together, raise our family together. We like, love and lust one another. We thank each other regularly for the things we each do for each other for our family. We consider ourselves lucky.
Anonymous
Post 06/08/2014 01:39     Subject: Faithful men and women
Married for 9 years.Never cheated on husband or boyfriends before marriage. Simply not interested.Don't need the physical aspect of it. I don't care to be bothered or flattered by men.They've been trying to get my attention since I was 15.
If DH and I fight, I just concentrate on doing things like cleaning, thinking about my life,kids.New guy with new problems is last thing that crossed my mind.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 23:34     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:18 years together. Not sure DW "does" anything to keep me faithful. It's just who I am. I'm an inveterate rule follower - really took to heart the "cheaters never win" adage as a kid. (Even though evidence is abundant that cheaters, in fact, do win.)


Ditto on it's just who I am. I went into marriage with dh, that I would commit to him for life. Our marriage is far from perfect, but that is never an excuse to cheat, never crosses my mind, no matter how angry I am with him.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 23:26     Subject: Re:Faithful men and women
Married 23 years. I don't want it on my conscious and I care too much for my DH to hurt him like that. I think he would say the same.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 23:10     Subject: Faithful men and women
Man married 20+ years. Don't cheat because my conscience would not allow it. I take commitment very seriously.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 22:34     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.


+1

I also agree w the morality statement. I am faithful and would not cheat. We have been married 9 years. I went into our marriage with the expectation of working out any problems other than abuse or cheating. Those are my dealbreakers, which means divorce not cheating.

We work out our issues and do what is best for our marriage and each other. We do not care about keeping up w the joneses or what they think. We just focus on making each other happy.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 22:19     Subject: Faithful men and women
Gal here, married 14, never cheated not even a kiss. He has, yet I still haven't and don't want to. I love him, and sad as it is, no other guy could compare.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 21:52     Subject: Faithful men and women
Never cheated. But this is just a life choice and I don't think I am better than those cheaters.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 21:48     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So tired of people thinking that an affair is the betrayed spouse's fault in any way. Cheaters cheat because they have a hole in their character where integrity should be. They are utterly selfish.

Haven't cheated. Married 16 years, together more than 20. What keeps me faithful? My strong moral code.


+100

Found out after 19 years I'm with someone without one.


Join the club. Sending love to all the married people with integrity, who respect their spouses and the promise to exclusivity. To the honest men and women with good morals--
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 18:27     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:We've been together for 10 years, married for five. Despite the fact that she only had one serious boyfriend before me and doesn't have much experience, she is an excellent flirt to me. She is very good at making me feel special. I told her two months ago I wanted to see a movie that's coming out next week - she lined up a babysitter this morning and made reservations at a restaurant I like for after the movie. She does things like this ALL the time. Her face lights up when she sees me - huge ego boost. When I had a big presentation at work she not only made me breakfast that morning (getting up an hour earlier than she normally does) but she taught the 3 yr old a cheer and they performed it for me on my way out the door. A freaking cheer! When I was taking my bar exam she arranged for me to get a massage at the start of it and the end of it.

I would never cheat on her. I hit the jackpot.


She sounds great, just make sure you do things for her too and let her know how much you appreciate her.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 18:25     Subject: Faithful men and women
I second PP. I feel too old for the stress and drama involved.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 18:25     Subject: Faithful men and women
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.


This is what I was going to say. But PP said it better.

You either value an honest and respectful approach to other humans, or you don't.


Ditto
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 18:20     Subject: Faithful men and women
Wife here- married 12 years. I hate drama and stress .. Therefore having an affair has never appealed to me. Of
Course I think about it- I'm not a nun- but it just seems like too much trouble .
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2014 18:08     Subject: Faithful men and women
Guy here - was married for 10 years and together for 4 years before that. More than a few attractive women threw themselves at me and I had many chances to cheat - never did though. I have a strong moral code, and I'm just not built to cheat or violate the trust of my partner.

My exW was the one who had an EA and ended up leaving the marriage.