Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave a 15 year old and 12 year girls alone in a hotel in this day and age. I agree with your DW -- this is crazy.

Also, I would be really concerned with the family dynamic of spending a vacation away from one sibling as a "treat" for the other siblings. Sort of cruel and not the attitude I would want to foster in the two older kids, especially since this is a vacation to DisneyWorld of all places. It would be different if it were a destination too mature for him but appropriate for his older sibs.

My two cents.

Agree. OP, sorry but you're off base all the way around.

I agree too. Why are you framing this as your wife being "overly worrisome"? This plan excludes your third child, who probably already feels like the outsider among his siblings anyway - he's much younger, the only boy, and has ADHD. Don't you think he'd feel hurt, OP?

If my mom and dad and two sisters went on vacation without me -- the whole family but me -- I'd be spending a LOT of time the therapist's office when older. That's a slight a kid will never forget.

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave a 15 year old and 12 year girls alone in a hotel in this day and age. I agree with your DW -- this is crazy.

Also, I would be really concerned with the family dynamic of spending a vacation away from one sibling as a "treat" for the other siblings. Sort of cruel and not the attitude I would want to foster in the two older kids, especially since this is a vacation to DisneyWorld of all places. It would be different if it were a destination too mature for him but appropriate for his older sibs.

My two cents.

Agree. OP, sorry but you're off base all the way around.

Why you have your son? Didn't realize he'd be such a pain in the ass?

I'd have no problem leaving a 15 yo and a 12 yo at the hotel or letting them roam Disney together if they are responsible kids. They''re old enough. I also don't have a problem with you wanting to spend some father/daughter time together. What makes me uncomfortable, though, is how you detailed your DS's challenges with ADHD. For me, this changed the discussion from one of having a special time with your daughters to one of excluding him. I could understand leaving him at home because he's too young to be left alone as your DDs can be but when you bring up the ADHD issues, it's like you're leaving him home because you want a break from him. (FWIW, two of my three kids have SNs and have some experience with wanting a break from the challenge).

If you do take your DDs, I hope you can plan something for your DS where he gets quality alone time with you. Depending on how 'frail' your mother is, I wouldn't have a problem leaving him with her. Even 7 yo ADHD kids aren't as difficult to take care of as younger kids. There's a much greater level of independence - at least there is if you foster it which your DW doesn't seem to be keen on.

I would not leave a 15 and 12 yo alone during the day. Why? well, when I was a teen, on a family trip to Orlando, I met this girl (14) and we hit it off. If we had a place where we could have been alone, things would have gone beyond third base. We got as far as second/third, even though she was with her younger sister.

It is inviting problems.

I am going to be a contrarian....I have gone to multiple business trips to "exotic" places....think Hawaii, Europe, Orlando, etc.

I hate taking my family on the trips, as I am very busy, and often have to network in the evenings (at conferences). They expect me to be around in the evening. And they want to sleep later than I can...dw complains when I get up and make noise.

This is with one kid.

Now, the difference is, I can afford a trip for the family without using work to pay for the hotel.

OP, do you think you would ever be able to take your son to WDW in the near future?

If it comes down to you just taking your DDs on the trip, I think I would feel safer for them if they went to a WDW theme park while I was at my conference than stay at the hotel all day. At WDW, you see teenagers roaming around in small groups without an adult all the time.

I'm in the camp of taking the girls. What a great opportunity to spend time. I don't know if seminars are like conferences, but when I went with my husband last year to a conference in Orlando it's not like he was in there all day long. Lots of breaks and some parts he chose to skip.

His 7 year old has many years of dad time ahead of him. I'm not a big Disney person (we never took our son) so I guess I'm just looking at this from the perspective of some good one on one time with his daughters.

I would take the girls and leave the 7y old. The girls can have this special trip with dad to cherish. Soon they will be out of the house anyway - in 6 years the younger one will be out to college and your son will be 13. Then you will have plenty of time to have special bonding time with your son alone, without the girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave a 15 year old and 12 year girls alone in a hotel in this day and age. I agree with your DW -- this is crazy.

Also, I would be really concerned with the family dynamic of spending a vacation away from one sibling as a "treat" for the other siblings. Sort of cruel and not the attitude I would want to foster in the two older kids, especially since this is a vacation to DisneyWorld of all places. It would be different if it were a destination too mature for him but appropriate for his older sibs.

My two cents.

+1M

A 15 and 12 can amuse themselves at a resort, if the 15 is a responsible 15. That said, this is a business trip and you really can't do both work and parent. Not fair.

Second paragraph is dead on. Pick a destination that isn't custom made for your son.

Maybe your wife has anxiety issues, but being unwilling to leave an ADHD with a frail grandparent is reasonable. My mom is with my niece and nephews this weekend -- along with the nanny. That's how to do it.

Anonymous wrote:7 years old is prime age for Disney. I think your wife needs help, but I would take him.

Absolutely! He will enjoy Disney more than they will.

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave two girls alone in a hotel. No way. That us also cruel not to take your son. All or you alone.

Agreed.

I would never leave two girls alone in a hotel. No way. That us also cruel not to take your son. All or you alone.

I've done this with my kids. The rule is that the two older kids MUST stay together while I'm in workmode. If one wants to go in the pool the other can sit in the chairs or on the edge of the pool, but one can't stay at the pool while the other is at the hotel room sleeping late.

Also, they have to keep a cell phone with them and we talk during my morning break, lunch break and afternoon break. They can go to Disney together at that age. If one wants to go on a ride the other doesn't want to go on they can only go to another ride that's right next to the first one, and they agree on a meeting spot (I have one kid that gets motion sick so some roller coasters are not for her).

My youngest (under 10) went to stay with the grandparents. Had a GREAT time. She was told she'll get special trips when she's older. The big girls brought her back a present. They were also prepped to not use the word "Disney" too much. It's FINE.