Anonymous wrote:So in other words.... every child and every family and every situation is different, but we should all expect some level of trauma somewhere between 3 and 21?

Yes, I think this sums it up. My mother in law used to say that with children "every year tells a different tale." Amen.

So in other words.... every child and every family and every situation is different, but we should all expect some level of trauma somewhere between 3 and 21?

My mom had three daughters and she always said that 13 and 15 were the worst.

13 was the worst. DD had bullying and cutting issues and then sneaked out with an 18-year-old guy. I am so glad that period is over; she has matured a lot and made good, sane decisions for the most part from age 15 on. She will be a senior this year, so I do worry about the stress.

I'm in the tail of 14 and it hasn't been good since 13. Lately DS has been responding more mannerly. Glad I redshirt, we needed this extra year to built in some maturity. I take a day at a time. Boy was he sweet, especially during the years of 6 months to 9 years.

Anonymous wrote:Tough years: age 17-18, Senior year of high school. They test the limits and act as if you are the dumbest person in the world. They know it all, and although their bodies are adult-like, their minds are still immature.

At college orientation, the head of the counseling office told all the parents that the crazy year we just went through was completely normal. She said, "Do you miss things that are unpleasant or that you don't like? No." and said that kids try to convince themselves that everything about their homelife is unpleasant, so that they won't miss it so much when they go away. It's something I'm keeping in mind as the next two get close to that age!

And vice versa! I was relieved when my first went off to college. Not sure that will happen with DC2 because senior year was pretty smooth.

Tough years: age 17-18, Senior year of high school. They test the limits and act as if you are the dumbest person in the world. They know it all, and although their bodies are adult-like, their minds are still immature.

At college orientation, the head of the counseling office told all the parents that the crazy year we just went through was completely normal. She said, "Do you miss things that are unpleasant or that you don't like? No." and said that kids try to convince themselves that everything about their homelife is unpleasant, so that they won't miss it so much when they go away. It's something I'm keeping in mind as the next two get close to that age!

DD, age 16, is a lazy, lying stoner who doesn't give a damn that she's on a slippery slope to loserdom with the rest of her oafish loser stoner "friends".

Other than thatm, things are great!

With my DD 14 and 15 were the worst. With DS, 13 and 14 were the worst, plus the beginning of 15. But I think 13 was partially my fault - he was my oldest and I had not readjusted my methods so he was pushing back against that.

A friend of mine with 10 (!) kids said 14 was the worst age for her four sons.