I guess it's Friday night and that's why everyone is being so harsh and judgmental.

I've seen this one from both sides of the coin. But to OP, if your gut is telling you something is off, then it very well may be. At this point, if you go on another couple of dates and try to get to know him better, and then it turns out he's a liar...are you any worse for the wear? If he's got a reason to keep his life off-line, then he may not be willing to share it with you until you've gone out some more.

I know a couple who work for the CIA. One is on FB with not much other online presence...the other spouse, the only record of that one's name online is real estate sales. Not a single other bit of information. Gainfully employed for years. It can be done.

OP, I only wish I knew who he was so I could warn him to get the fuck away from you.

No wonder you're single

As strange as it may seem to you, some people don't like to live their lives on the internet. I know many people not on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter etc. I don't have a life where I'm publishing things in my true name. Unless you want to go for real estate records, not a whole lot out there. It's not the sign of a weirdo or liar, but if you live your life on the expectation that everything you do is going to be posted, this may not be the guy for you.

I understand in this day + age, with technology so available it is considered practical to check up on people, however the way you are doing it kinda takes the romance out of it.

I visualize you on the computer, typing all night, burning the midnight oil...With your glasses on, like some P.I. doing her research.

Uh. Not romantic.

You won't find anything about me online. I don't participate in social media except for a private facebook profile that 10 people have access to. You won't find references, previous jobs, nothing. Why? Because my life belongs to me and nobody else. Not because I have something to hide. If you meet me in person and ask me, I'll gladly tell you everything I feel like sharing about myself. It is SO horrible how everyone spreads their insides on the net these days...

If you googled me, you would find an real good record of professional activities until 2010. At that point, I transitioned my work from R & D (with regular conference presentations) to highly classified work of a similar nature. I write just as many reports (actually more). But, they better not be on the internet....And near as I can tell snowden did not release them.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but that's just weird. What are you expecting to find? I have almost no professional presence online. A linkedIn profile and Facebook is all you'll find on me.

i don't work in intelligence and I don't have a fb, linkedin...a twitter account i never tweet on, just use it to follow blogs/news/mags.

I also have done a thorough job of trying to scrub myself off sites like whitepages, mylife, etc. as much as a i can by contacting them to take down my profile which some do painlessly if you ask.

if a date googled me, there is very little she would find - i prefer to keep it that way.

Anonymous wrote:could he be in intelligence?

I know people at CIA - i.e. their full names, where they went to school, where they grew up and you can find them in mylife.

the agency does not scrub someone out of existence - even ncs.

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of anyone going online to try and track down someone else's history. If you were a future employer I'd get it but...ehm...I am speechless XD

Are you kidding me? This is the first thing I would do.
Not stalking, just making sure there's nothing unsavory going on.

I think sometimes you just have to trust the person to a point and let yourself get to know him, vs. really prying into their online presence. If you've only gone out with him 3 times, you are only supposed to know him so well, not know everything about him yet. Is he self-employed, perhaps, or a cleared employee who isn't allowed to say much? (my ex can't tell me much of what he does and for whom, and I accept that.)

If someone googled me, they wouldn't find much. They'd find my blocked Facebook page, my LinkedIn profile and maybe a few results from races I've run. There's someone else with my name who works in PR for a major agency, so she's the one that comes up in google searches 99% of the time. someone might think i was lying if they saw all this person's stuff and it didn't tie out to what I was telling them.

Oh, my God! Just get to know him in person. Stop looking on the net!

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but that's just weird. What are you expecting to find? I have almost no professional presence online. A linkedIn profile and Facebook is all you'll find on me.

She's determined to find something

Anonymous wrote:So why don't you just ask him? Tell him that you've been having a hard time getting the recent employment stuff straight, and see what he says. If it sounds suspicious coming out of his mouth, then drop him.

Because she knows the minute she opens her mouth about this intensive background search, he's gonna run like the wind. That's why she doesn't come out and ask him...the whole point of online snooping is to do a bunch of digging without admitting to doing it.

I'm sorry, but that's just weird. What are you expecting to find? I have almost no professional presence online. A linkedIn profile and Facebook is all you'll find on me.

could he be in intelligence?