I'm lucky. I can honestly say I love my MIL. We used to talk a few times a week when I was still a student but now I'm working we almost never talk anymore. But since we're being honest, I might as well admit her conversations can be so boring sometimes. She talks about her health a lot and gossips about the relatives. I don't tell her anything too personal because I already know she's a gossip. Still love her to death though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not generally to chit chat - there is always a reason for the call; neither of us are the chatty type. OTOH, DH never calls my mom.

Excellent point!

How many DHs call their MILs?

My doesn't and that's why I don't either. Why do the wives have to call the MILs??

I don't. I finally realized that having a close relationship with her was not a good idea. DH is in charge of his side of the family.

I talk to my MIL 2 or 3 times a week. She usually calls me, but we chat for awhile. We get along well. She lives across the country so we don't see eachother too often and just catch up on eachothers lives. I feel pretty lucky to have such a good relationship with her.

Anonymous wrote:Not if I can help it!

She calls my husband usually, and only occasionally me. I much prefer it that way and don't really ever want to be the main one to communicate with her. I'd never call her if I didn't absolutely have too for some reason.

This is me too.

My MIL was great. She kept her opinions to herself (regarding us or our life) unless asked. She and I were friends because she respected me and I respected her.

She called my DH weekly at work (I didn't know this until she passed). I didn't care. I thought it was sweet.

We emailed occasionally and once the kids were born, I'd send her texts and photos. They would come to visit and stay with us for about 2 weeks around Xmas and sometimes a few days for DH's bday mid year.

They respected boundaries, so everyone got along.

OP, some people just don't "click." If you don't, then just don't bother trying. Be cordial but don't be rude or mean. As long as she is being respectful/polite to you, keep it light and make an effort once in a while.

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

+1000

I do not. Married for almost 20 years with nearby in laws.

MIL is a terrible gossip. I have nothing to say to her. Even in person, she prattles on about herself non-stop and never, ever asks me a thing or stops to take a breath.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not generally to chit chat - there is always a reason for the call; neither of us are the chatty type. OTOH, DH never calls my mom.

Excellent point!

How many DHs call their MILs?

No. And if I see her name on the ID I let DH answer.

Nope - but we email/text. But I'm not a big phone call person and I only talk to my own mom on the phone occasionally. I also bug my husband to call her semi-regularly to maintain the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to do it (she died) as a courtesy to my husband.
He called her too but if he got busy I'd sometimes call her to "maintain".

My husband is great about a lot of stuff I don't want to do that moms/wives usually do and he hates Christmas cards, present buying and small talk.

I'd tell her he'd call her later.

She'd often call me if she knew he was away. She was worried I'd be lonely.
We weren't friends, but there was effort there.

Keeping peace with her made his life less stressful, so yeah.

Wow, do you have self esteem?
Do you ask how high when he tells you to jump?

Oh yea...she's doormat because of this...geez

call and text
i probably talk to her more than my dh
Op, it sounds like your MIL likes to do the small talk and you do not. Some people hate those kinds of conversations...

Anonymous wrote:I used to do it (she died) as a courtesy to my husband.
He called her too but if he got busy I'd sometimes call her to "maintain".

My husband is great about a lot of stuff I don't want to do that moms/wives usually do and he hates Christmas cards, present buying and small talk.

I'd tell her he'd call her later.

She'd often call me if she knew he was away. She was worried I'd be lonely.
We weren't friends, but there was effort there.

Keeping peace with her made his life less stressful, so yeah.

Wow, do you have self esteem?
Do you ask how high when he tells you to jump?

My MIL and husband talk on the phone several times a day, and we see her usually 2-3 times a week. I call her on my own sometimes, probably once or twice a month. She also calls to talk to the kids, and then I'll talk to her for a bit before putting my son on and helping him with the conversation (he's 2.5). Occasionally we make plans to see each other without my husband or SIL, just to go shopping or have lunch. We have a much better relationship than I think most women on this board have with their MIL. I have a good relationship with my mom, but I see/ talk to my MIL a lot more.