Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you call CPS there is a real chance that your niece will be put in foster care, which statistically is far more dangerous. She could be adopted out even. Be careful of easy answers OP. It is a very sad situation but it does not sound like there is much you can do but keep offering lifelines. Can you offer to have your niece come live with you for the summer?

This is why I don't want to report it. Since my sister doesn't want to leave, they will likely take her. I talked to my sister again and she still is adamant about stay with our parents because she doesn't want to start over and again leave most of our family. I told her that starting over is great and you can reinvent yourself, etc. Still couldn't persuade her. It is causing stress in my relationship and I have a fear of losing my boyfriend over this because I have been flipping out these past few days.

Your flipping out is just part of the cycle of abuse, and you need to take action now and stop taking the victim approach.

The bottom line is that your sister is as dependent on your step dad as your mom is. Unfortunately, your sister chooses to stay in that abusive household while exposing your niece to the violence. You are miles away and offer good solutions that your sister ignores. Then CPS is called in as a scare tactic. Your family is beyond scare tactics.

If you can't convince your sister to leave because she lacks the finances, blah blah blah, then maybe now is the time to consider your niece's welfare which means removal from your sister whether you seek temporary custody or she ends up in foster care.

Why is an adult living in that home? The fact that she has put herself in that situation means she has problems herself.

Op, what is your financial situation?

How expensive is it to get a one bedroom in that area ?

Could you help her get her own place? Maybe buy a condo and charge her low rent?

It may be difficult to get the child removed from the home if your sister is not willing to bring charges against step-dad and likely to say you have your own bias and do not know what is going on any more. But at least by reporting, CPS will become involved and then you just sort of have to let things play out. Continue to stay in touch with your sister and offer what you can, but sadly there is really little you can do. Your Mom is just a guilty as Step-Dad, but she probably does not have the sense to see the situation for what it really is, too, and does not know any other life. It could even be generational for her and just the way the family is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you call CPS there is a real chance that your niece will be put in foster care, which statistically is far more dangerous. She could be adopted out even. Be careful of easy answers OP. It is a very sad situation but it does not sound like there is much you can do but keep offering lifelines. Can you offer to have your niece come live with you for the summer?

This is why I don't want to report it. Since my sister doesn't want to leave, they will likely take her. I talked to my sister again and she still is adamant about stay with our parents because she doesn't want to start over and again leave most of our family. I told her that starting over is great and you can reinvent yourself, etc. Still couldn't persuade her. It is causing stress in my relationship and I have a fear of losing my boyfriend over this because I have been flipping out these past few days.

I doubt they would take her away from her mother unless she was also being abused and if that were the case then she would be better off away from her anyway. OP, I'm sorry, but you have to do something. Now.

Because your BF probably says report it. You should report it. If your sister would choose an abusive man over her kid, the kid is probably better off elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:If you call CPS there is a real chance that your niece will be put in foster care, which statistically is far more dangerous. She could be adopted out even. Be careful of easy answers OP. It is a very sad situation but it does not sound like there is much you can do but keep offering lifelines. Can you offer to have your niece come live with you for the summer?

This is why I don't want to report it. Since my sister doesn't want to leave, they will likely take her. I talked to my sister again and she still is adamant about stay with our parents because she doesn't want to start over and again leave most of our family. I told her that starting over is great and you can reinvent yourself, etc. Still couldn't persuade her. It is causing stress in my relationship and I have a fear of losing my boyfriend over this because I have been flipping out these past few days.

If you call CPS there is a real chance that your niece will be put in foster care, which statistically is far more dangerous. She could be adopted out even. Be careful of easy answers OP. It is a very sad situation but it does not sound like there is much you can do but keep offering lifelines. Can you offer to have your niece come live with you for the summer?

Go easy on OP. She is clearly damaged from living in that abusive household and it's going to take her some time to wrap her mind around the magnitude of what is happening and understand that she has every right to report her asshole of a stepfather. Berating her to "grow a spine" is only going to make her feel worse - it's not going to encourage her to do what needs to be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live 12 hours away. I do want to report it, but when I have done so I get scolded as if I were the bad person.

You have the same problem your sister does. You are a grown adult! Wtf do you care if someone scolds you for doing the right thing? Get a freaking spine and report this guy! When you do let them know there's a history of abuse.

Who gives a shit if you get "scolded"? Your stepfather is hitting your sister. Your niece is probably at risk for being hit, as well. I agree with other posters: grow a fucking spine and call CPS.