Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:35     Subject: SIL hit niece
OP here I am actually going to give an ultimatum to my Dh he either makes BIL stay with us or I am reporting to CPS I am also reaching out to her mom to stay with her.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:33     Subject: SIL hit niece
OP here I am actually going to give an ultimatum to my Dh he either makes BIL stay with us or I am reporting to CPS I am also reaching out to her mom to stay with her.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:29     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:Op here this is a very difficult situation, my husband is very conflicted about calling CPS on sil and bil. My husband and his brother are very close and my husband feels that our niece is the responsibility of BIL and we need to stay out. I just can't stop crying thinking of the little one. I am planning on calling SIL tonight and telling her unless she seeks counseling and starts taking antidepressants I will call the police. Has anyone dealt with a friend or family member who was abusive but recovered with professional help?


Please don't do this. It might put the baby at further risk.

Right now your SIL is ill. She can not be trusted to make the right decisions for the baby. Either your BIL needs to step in and start making decisions (I'm the PP who suggested that you give your BIL an ultimatum), or CPS needs to do so, but adding to SIL's anxiety by threatening her is not going to help the situation and could lead to her harming herself or the baby. In addition, while therapy and meds are great, and will probably help a lot, neither works overnight. There needs to be a plan now so that mom and baby are not alone together.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:23     Subject: SIL hit niece
Oh hell no. It is never okay to hit a baby, and if the first time didn't stop her dead in her tracks, she has serious issues that need dealt with by professionals. I would tell BIL that he can either get her help or you will have to report this to CPS.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:19     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:You BIL should call his wife's doctor, tell him/her his wife is exhibiting symptoms of PPD, it's not getting better but worse and he should ask how he gets his wife help. If wife won't get help, he should ask her to leave the house and if she won't go, he should take the baby and stay elsewhere for the baby's safety.

Also consider if your SIL needs a break and is too overwhelmed to reach out for help. Offer to watch the baby for your SIL this weekend if she will allow it.




+1000 It's a good thing that your husband and his brother are close, or he wouldn't know about your SIL's hitting her infant.

That said, your husband will have to trust you to issue an urgent ultimatum to your SIL. And also either you or your husband must convince his brother to protect that baby at all costs.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:17     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a parent who spanks and I would report this. I know of a baby who died from being hit repeatedly.


And yet you still spank.


I think the point is that there's a difference between spanking a child, and hitting a baby. Presumably the former is done as a disciplinary measure, the latter is simply abuse.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:12     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:I am a parent who spanks and I would report this. I know of a baby who died from being hit repeatedly.


And yet you still spank.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:11     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Respectfully, this is between SIL and BIL; only your DH is even related to SIL, so let DH handle it. Step back.


I've got to disagree. What the OP is describing is abuse, and every citizen who witnesses child abuse, or knows of child abuse has a responsibility to stop it.

OP, I would tell your BIL that what he describes is child abuse, and that you feel an obligation to either intervene or call CPS and let them intervene. There are several options here. He could leave and take the baby to your house until his wife gets help. He could send the baby to you or grandparents. His wife could seek inpatient care or move out while she receives outpatient intervention. They could make an agreement that she's not alone with the baby (he does all the wake ups, there's a nanny, or a relative if she's not there with specific instructions on what to do if a situation escalates). I'd also let him know that you know this is hard, and that you'll support him however you can, but that if he can't take one of those steps you need to involve CPS.



This.





+2

And do this immediately.



Another person agreeing with this. Do it NOW!!!
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:03     Subject: SIL hit niece
You could do an anonymous report to cps
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:02     Subject: SIL hit niece
Maybe bil should approach this as, honey, you need a break, I am going to take baby to stay with friends, or you go stay at a hotel for two nights. Give her a break for a bit. Is she breast feeding still?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 21:00     Subject: SIL hit niece
You BIL should call his wife's doctor, tell him/her his wife is exhibiting symptoms of PPD, it's not getting better but worse and he should ask how he gets his wife help. If wife won't get help, he should ask her to leave the house and if she won't go, he should take the baby and stay elsewhere for the baby's safety.

Also consider if your SIL needs a break and is too overwhelmed to reach out for help. Offer to watch the baby for your SIL this weekend if she will allow it.

Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 20:59     Subject: SIL hit niece
I am a parent who spanks and I would report this. I know of a baby who died from being hit repeatedly.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 20:50     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:Op here this is a very difficult situation, my husband is very conflicted about calling CPS on sil and bil. My husband and his brother are very close and my husband feels that our niece is the responsibility of BIL and we need to stay out. I just can't stop crying thinking of the little one. I am planning on calling SIL tonight and telling her unless she seeks counseling and starts taking antidepressants I will call the police. Has anyone dealt with a friend or family member who was abusive but recovered with professional help?


Maybe you should get some professional advice yourself on how best to handle the situation. You need to do something NOW but how to confront SIL -- that might put the baby at risk if she has PPD. Where are you? Look up an agency you can call for advice. Too bad it's Friday night but there must be an emergency organization you can call. Do this ASAP. Poor baby.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 20:47     Subject: SIL hit niece
Op here this is a very difficult situation, my husband is very conflicted about calling CPS on sil and bil. My husband and his brother are very close and my husband feels that our niece is the responsibility of BIL and we need to stay out. I just can't stop crying thinking of the little one. I am planning on calling SIL tonight and telling her unless she seeks counseling and starts taking antidepressants I will call the police. Has anyone dealt with a friend or family member who was abusive but recovered with professional help?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2014 20:37     Subject: SIL hit niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Respectfully, this is between SIL and BIL; only your DH is even related to SIL, so let DH handle it. Step back.


Are you out of your mind? The child is NINE MONTHS OLD.

Get off DCUM and report this to CPS. Well first I would tell the husband he has the option to take serious action and if he doesn't, you will call CPS. Then follow through.


Seriously, this is a baby that needs protecting. If her father won't do it, someone should.


+1,000,000