Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

Your opinion is stupid. It's cute that you ascribe your own personal experiences to the general public. Like you, apparently, I have multiple only child close friends, and none of them are self-absorbed. The most self-absorbed people I know have siblings, in some cases, more than one. I guess -- by your logic that one person's anecdotal evidence = truth -- that means that those of us with siblings (including me) are way more self-absorbed than only children.

Hence why I said my opinion. I don't assume it's your opinion or your experience. My point was that my experiences shape my personal opinions which in turn shape my behavior. Quite logical actually. Your unwarranted aggression is intense though... Good luck with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

Your opinion is stupid. It's cute that you ascribe your own personal experiences to the general public. Like you, apparently, I have multiple only child close friends, and none of them are self-absorbed. The most self-absorbed people I know have siblings, in some cases, more than one. I guess -- by your logic that one person's anecdotal evidence = truth -- that means that those of us with siblings (including me) are way more self-absorbed than only children.

Fighting for attention in the early years. Especially the poor middle children (like my mother).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

so do adults with siblings tend to be gossiping hens later in life?

If you have a very close group of girlfriends and you never, ever discuss the actions of one another, you are a unicorn. It isn't mean spirited and doesn't mean we ,love them less. In fact, I actually thin it's an acceptance of others' flaws and unconditional love. We recognize where a behavior comes from, acknowledge it, and move on. The same as saying "I'm annoyed that Sally never answers my calls, but I know she has been super stressed at work, so that's probably it. Oh well."

Hardly gossiping.

having a 6 year old, and now 8 month twin girls (zygosity results pending) .....whenevery I see someone with a little baby I now thing..."hmm, just one baby at a time? what's up with that?!"
DW and I are both only children. had an only child for a while. DW had a MC in mid 2012, leaving me prayerfully ambivilent about more children. As in, "God, whatever your plan is, I'm good with it."

God, once again, proved He has quite the sense of humor.

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

Your opinion is stupid. It's cute that you ascribe your own personal experiences to the general public. Like you, apparently, I have multiple only child close friends, and none of them are self-absorbed. The most self-absorbed people I know have siblings, in some cases, more than one. I guess -- by your logic that one person's anecdotal evidence = truth -- that means that those of us with siblings (including me) are way more self-absorbed than only children.

OP, you are hanging with the wrong crowd. I have only one child, and no one has ever said anything like that to me. The worst someone has said is that DS would probably have enjoyed having a sibling to play with.

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

so do adults with siblings tend to be gossiping hens later in life?

Anonymous wrote:IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

Now that I have one, I pay a lot of attention to this, and I have found it to be completely false. But, then again, I also try to raise my only like a second, in other words, the world does not revolve around her.

We have one, and it is perfect for us. She is outgoing and fun and has many relationships. We have time and money to give her the lifestyle we think will educate her best. But, most important, we are happy with this decision.

When people ask me, I go on and on about why I thought it was the right decision. If they pressure me, I explain that I used to think that I wanted two, but when I felt relief at a miscarraige of a very planned second, I realized that one was perfect and haven't looked back. That usually shuts them up. Then I go back to my lecture on the virtues of one.

IMO, only children tend to be more self absorbed later in life. I have multiple close friends who I love, but who we all describe as "such only children" and the meaning is instantly understood. The only time I've seen only children avoid this is when there is a specific source of hardship in childhood so that they learn it isn't all about them (eg, a parent has an illness).
Having said this, I don't love the idea of having a second child, but the above keeps me motivated to do so.

Yes. I hate kids and DH loves them so since I love him I agreed to just one.

I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about how many kids I should have. I just smile and say everyone's entitled to their opinion.

I'm an only child who had a great childhood, wasn't lonely, and isn't worried about supporting parents in their old age.

Anonymous wrote:We have 1. People make comments, and sometimes I worry that he won't learn how to share or whatever. But when I watch their kids, I don't see behavioral differences. Most kids think they're the center of the universal, siblings or not.

To paraphrase the book, "One and Only," kids can be little a-holes, whether or not they have siblings.

And, FWIW, PP, we have only one by choice and other parents often comment on how well-behaved she is and how nicely she shares her toys.

Anonymous wrote:DH is selfish and lazy = 1 kid. Case closed.

I tell this to anyone who is rude enough to ask. Shuts down further inquiry.

We decided to have only one and are happy with our decision. Haven't encountered too much flak so far from others, fortunately. In fact, we've have had friends with more than one kid tell me how jealous they are of our little family!

As for how to respond to rude comments, if it's someone we know well making the comments, we just say, "This is what works for us." and leave it at that. If it's some random person I don't know well making a comment, in the past I've said, "Gee, thanks for your input!" very brightly and cheerfully, in a way that anyone with half a brain would understand to really mean, "I so don't care what you think, so please f*ck off!"

I know plenty "one and done" families. Who cares what these idiots think? Good for you for planning and knowing your limits. I'm sure your child will lead a happy and fulfilling life, and that you will, too.