Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is awful. I can't stop crying. My newborn won't latch. Pumping doesn't help, because my milk has not come in and probably won't. We are using formula without feeling particularly guilty about it, but my hormones are so out of whack I can't deal with any of this anymore.

I'd like to hear from people who eventually gave up on breastfeeding. I'm not sure what I want to hear. I guess I don't want to be scared and feel guilty when I give up. (I'm not there yet, but things don't look optimistic at this point.)

Thank you!

I quit. I never looked back. It was so much better to bottle feed and be able to enjoy my baby. Sorry I'm not sorry.

I had the same sort of struggle, Op. Bfeeding was an exhausting, painful chore for me and pumping was horrible.

I breastfed long enough to give my kids immunity benefits. But I was glad to stop. And I have never regretted stopping. And they absolutely thrived on formula.

Do what is right for you.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for your support everybody. Today is day 4 postpartum. I have seen a consultant and played around with all kinds of devices. I keep pumping and producing literally two drops per boob. Well, one is actually one drop, and the other is like three. Hope that a bit more will come is the only reason I have not given up this misery yet. I have PCOS which does affect supply I've been told. I never hoped to breastfeed exclusively, but I do want to give my baby at least those few drops I can.

The baby is fed and doing really well. Bonding issues are not front and center for me meaning I think we'll do just fine with the bottle. I guess it is the mess of the first days that is driving me completely insane.

OP! There is a good chance your milk has yet to come in. Mine didn't until day 4 with my first. Best of luck either way.

Anonymous wrote:You need to find what works for you - if that is breastfeeding or formula. No guilt. Congratulations on the new baby.

+1. Op - your job is to feed your baby in a way that works for you and your family. Figure out what works best and go with it. Enjoy your little one. You deserve it.

OP here. Thank you for your support everybody. Today is day 4 postpartum. I have seen a consultant and played around with all kinds of devices. I keep pumping and producing literally two drops per boob. Well, one is actually one drop, and the other is like three. Hope that a bit more will come is the only reason I have not given up this misery yet. I have PCOS which does affect supply I've been told. I never hoped to breastfeed exclusively, but I do want to give my baby at least those few drops I can.

The baby is fed and doing really well. Bonding issues are not front and center for me meaning I think we'll do just fine with the bottle. I guess it is the mess of the first days that is driving me completely insane.

So sorry OP. Here are my thoughts:

My milk never really came in. I had to start supplementing DS on day 3. I took fenugreek, I saw a lactation consultant, I pumped, and still always supplemented with formula (and by supplementing, i mean he probably got more formula than breastmilk). I cried when my baby wanted to feed every couple of hours, because it took so long.

I made it to 6 months (again - always supplementing with formula). When I pumped I would get MAYBE 4 ounces total during a session - i can't imagine being someone who got 6-8 oz per breast!.

One thing to think about is if you are going to bond with your baby better when breastfeeding, or giving him a bottle. I loved giving DS a bottle - he would look in my eyes, and it was less stressful for me.

Like another PP said - your job is to feed the baby. Breastmilk or formula - whatever works better for the 2 of you - your mental health is very important!!

I second the BF group. I went to the one at VHC in Arlington and it was a huge support to me and relief to know that I wasn't alone with my issues (and guilt).

I'm EPing because it is so much easier/less stressful than trying to BF. My little guy is 10 weeks old and will be on my boob for an hour...only to down an entire bottle after the fact. He's just not efficient, and nothing the LCs did helps that. It is what it is.

My little guy is gaining weight through pumping and a little bit of supplementing, and that's all I can ask for.

The mommy guilt and lactivists suck though For a long time I felt extremely guilty and like I "failed" my son--which is stupid.

Hang in there! It is so tough -- but it can get better. Mostly just try not to beat yourself up about the process...whichever way it turns.

I consulted with 3 different LC's -- the first two didn't actually help that much. So if one LC isn't helping you, call another. It was a lot of money, emotion and stress for me. I was grateful that I was eventually able to BF, but now that I am pregnant with #2, I am not sure I will expend so much energy on it.

Another note that I didn't see posted yet - check out the DC breastfeeding center. They have a support group for 0-4 months on Tuesdays and it helps to see that it is actually hard (for different reasons) for lots of mamas in the room. And it was helpful for me to have a reason to get out of the house!

I echo what everyone else has said. BF is so so so ridiculously hard. If it's something you want to do, you'll just have to power through the first few weeks. The first rule of BF is feed the baby -- any LC will tell you this. Also, if your milk hasn't come in and baby isn't latching, then pumping as much as you can is super important and it is completely ok if you aren't getting any milk -- it's the stimulation that matters. Get an LC, it will be money well spent. If you aren't able to BF or decide it's not for you, that's completely okay too.

You should see a lactation consultant ASAP. And it does get easier. You will get the hang of it and it won't hurt anymore.

Breastfeeding (or the attempts to) is the single hardest, most emotionally taxing thing I have ever tried to do.

Allowing myself to stop forcing it and focusing on ensuring my babies got well fed without all of us being it tears was critical.

Do whatever is right for you and your babies. They can be fabulously healthy on 100% formula if that is the best decision.

Whatever approach lets you rest, feel calm and in control, and ensures your baby is eating well is the one you should take - without any guilt whatsoever.

Be kind to yourself - the better you are, the better your baby (and family) will be.

Congratulations on the baby!

I will just echo other posters:

Get an LC to your house
Get a hospital grade pump if you don't have one

And if you don't want to do any of this or the above doesn't help, feed your baby formula and don't look back.

You can do this mama!! You and baby will be just fine.

You need to find what works for you - if that is breastfeeding or formula. No guilt. Congratulations on the new baby.

Just wanted to tell you everything you're feeling is totally normal. When I struggled I literally felt so panicked and anxious I thought we were all gonna die. You're going to live. You'll all be fine.

Get a lactation consultant to come to your house if you really want to do it. Get a better pump (hospital grade) if you want to (makes all the difference in the world). We did the pump around the clock, feed every hour and a half and pump all the time in between thing. It was hell. We also had baby's tongue snipped by a specialist and believe that made a big difference in her ability to suckle.

Anyway - anything would have been hell at that point. It's normal that it feels like hell. You'll get through it. It's okay. Any choice you make will be okay. You'll all live. You'll feel normal some day. I promise.