I look more favorably on people who built their own business and wealth. I tend to notice a lower intelligence with those freeloading from inheritance or old money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I also felt a sense of pride that we are living a similarly privileged upper middle class life that we built entirely on our own, from a very humble start.

You should feel proud of yourself for your accomplishments but that doesn't reflect on those who might have been "luckier" at birth. No one chooses their families. Since you built a nice upper middle class life yourself, what will you with your money? Unless you're a big spendthrift, you're likely to accumulate some significant wealth over time. Will any of it go to your children? Do you plan on cutting them off after college? If you will pass some of your assets to them, won't that just put you in the same position as your friends/neighbors' parents?

DH and I didn't come from money either and we didn't choose careers for their earning potential. But, we find ourselves making a lot more than we imagined when we were 25. Despite lots of philanthropy, our income and assets grow faster than we know how to spend. Our luxuries are private school and interesting vacations, not Teslas or Louboutins. We're going to make sure our child starts adulthood without the financial annoyances we had (student loans) or the need to support us the way we have supported our parents. A down payment for DC's first house, vacations, even trust funds for the grandchildren (if we are so lucky) are likely to be easy gifts that we can enjoy with them.

I'm the one who wrote I was proud of us for what we've built. I also wrote this of people who get help from parents, "I don't at all begrudge them the help they get. I was kind of dumb struck, thinking how nice that would be. Good for them." So I'm not saying our position reflects on others who were financially luckier. I'm not judging them and don't think any one else should. And yes, my kids probably will have an inheritance, college costs covered and other benefits that my husband and I have not had. That's the American dream, right, for your kids to have it better than you? Again, makes me proud that we're living that dream and that we live in a country where other people can, too. That's my message to people in a position like ours -- don't be jealous, be proud.

Anonymous wrote:Once I find out someone gets floated by family, I change my opinion of them. Try not to, it just completely changes my opinion about them and their character. Inheriting $$ is different somehow. You can't help it that your family member died, but you can control living beyond your means, which is basically what you are doing if "they" are paying your bills for you.

This is absurd. If you inherit money and are using part of it to enjoy life, you are not living beyond your means. Your means simply changed because of the inheritance. Get over your jealousy of other people's fortunes.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like regardless of how I meet people they all have significant family money around here.
I met most of my friends when our kids were young (they're now all around k-2) and it seems like every one of my friends is trading their million dollar starter home for the 1.8 million dollar "kids are bigger and we need more space" home. They're all single income families where the husband works as a government lawyer or is an IT guy for the government or a mid level associate for a government contractor and they owned their current (first) home for less than 5 years.
It's just crazy because I've met my friends in all sorts of avenues in DC---mom's groups, preschool, church--and yet their finances are all similar, down to a person (I'm talking about several dozen women). Decent but not great single salary, SAHM and a really fantastic lifestyle.
Have you found this to be the case? I've lived in several other major urban areas but I've never been so surrounded by family money as I am here.

The average HHI in most of Ward 3 is well below surrounding areas in Bethesda, Chevy Chase, McLean, and N. Arlington. So the answer is for every 2 million house in DC there are 10 in Chevy Chase.

Once I find out someone gets floated by family, I change my opinion of them. Try not to, it just completely changes my opinion about them and their character. Inheriting $$ is different somehow. You can't help it that your family member died, but you can control living beyond your means, which is basically what you are doing if "they" are paying your bills for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not just dc nw. McLean is full of them. I know one family on a government mid level salary of probably 65k a year who live in a 2 million dollar house daddy bought them.

Interesting. I live in McLean and my neighborhood is full of people who have high paying jobs. Maybe they do have family money, too, but it seems as though almost everyone can buy their own houses and afford their lifestyles.

Me too, in N. Arlington. I think people tend to exaggerate how many people aroudn them are super rich because it is so much more noticeable than everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a website to publicly shame these people.

What exactly would be the shame?

Anonymous wrote:There should be a website to publicly shame these people.

You mean other than DCUM, Madame Defarge?

Anonymous wrote: I also felt a sense of pride that we are living a similarly privileged upper middle class life that we built entirely on our own, from a very humble start.

You should feel proud of yourself for your accomplishments but that doesn't reflect on those who might have been "luckier" at birth. No one chooses their families. Since you built a nice upper middle class life yourself, what will you with your money? Unless you're a big spendthrift, you're likely to accumulate some significant wealth over time. Will any of it go to your children? Do you plan on cutting them off after college? If you will pass some of your assets to them, won't that just put you in the same position as your friends/neighbors' parents?

DH and I didn't come from money either and we didn't choose careers for their earning potential. But, we find ourselves making a lot more than we imagined when we were 25. Despite lots of philanthropy, our income and assets grow faster than we know how to spend. Our luxuries are private school and interesting vacations, not Teslas or Louboutins. We're going to make sure our child starts adulthood without the financial annoyances we had (student loans) or the need to support us the way we have supported our parents. A down payment for DC's first house, vacations, even trust funds for the grandchildren (if we are so lucky) are likely to be easy gifts that we can enjoy with them.

to some extent, that is what it takes to buy a house that expensive at that young of an age.

Some have parents footing various bills (especially tuition). Some have had substantial inheritances when their parents or grandparents died. Some received huge trusts or other bequests just before the tax law changes at the end of 2012.

My parents don't pay tuition for their grandchildren, but if they did, it would be rather wise estate planning, as they are in the fortunate position of having an estate large enough that there will be substantial "death taxes". It would essentially be giving their children an additional annual gift, but without any tax consequences. Paying tuition directly to the school is not taxed as a gift and doesn't count against either the annual or lifetime exclusion.

I live in NW DC and was shocked when I hosted a play group with other moms in the neighborhood. Everyone was sitting around and started talking about how their parents support them -- paying for the nanny or day care, paying for lavish vacations, one's parents gave them a Lexus SUV to drive, another's paid the 20 percent down payment on their house. I was literally the only one there who doesn't get anything from my parents or my husband's parents. (In fact, we have to help financially support my parents.) It was a real eye-opener, and I don't at all begrudge them the help they get. I was kind of dumb struck, thinking how nice that would be. Good for them. But I also felt a sense of pride that we are living a similarly privileged upper middle class life that we built entirely on our own, from a very humble start.

Anonymous wrote:There should be a website to publicly shame these people.

What exactly would be the shame?

Lots of folks in Chevy Chase, DC as well. People did not have lots of family money where I grew up. My parents have money, but don't seem to want to give any to me yet. They would never buy my house or pay for private school. Oh well!

I have multiple friends in this situation. Some very close friends so I will tell you how they do it.

Friend #1, 2 and 3: Worked for an IT company in the 90's, cashed out, huge amounts of money in the bank, self made. All currently have jobs that can't afford their lifestyle but spend a ton of time with their kids. (nobody is a SAHM though) 1 & 2 have Mil $homes, private school and 2nd home but otherwise are normal. #3 is so rich I can't even imagine, they do so much charity work it is insane, they have boats, and houses and cars and they pay for private plus sponsor 4 kids a year on scholarship and mentor them. So 1 a year and carry then through all 4 year so of HS.

Friend #4, trust fund, she gets $4000/month from that trust fund. H govt. job, she "is on the board" for the foundation which give her a "salary", plus works for a mortgage company.

Friend #5: inherited father's company, hired others to run it, you would wonder what he does for a living if you don't know him. But... he lives in the same house for years that probably cost $200K 20 years ago (when he was 25), it is now worth $800K, won't move because he is too down to earth. Takes amazing vacations. Gives tons of money to charity.

Friend #6: Grandmother bought buildings in DC in Adam's Morgan area in the 50's. They rent them. Just sitting on them and waiting to cash out. Has normal job but gets a boatload of money on the rentals.

Anonymous wrote:There should be a website to publicly shame these people.

Why?