I'm not vengeful and I can't live with myself when I don't take the high road. That's just me, though. Each must do what makes them feel better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Revenge is for the weak. Grow up and and deal. It doesn't matter if you choose reconciliation or divorce. The same advice applies.

What about the person who cheated then? i don't understand why one person has to always to all the work and cheater just lays back. Divorce is the best.

Of course it is the best, especially if you think you are owed a hall pass because your spouse cheated. It is juvenile. Marriage is not a game of "But he/she started it, waah!" or "She pushed me first, waahh!"

Presumably none of you are a child and should have no excuse for acting like one.

But why putting effort into reforming a cheater if you can get a better person? maybe it's because i am young but i don't think that i will ever stay faithful without insurance ( i will let you figure out what i mean by that)

Anonymous wrote:I can certainly see why you'd want to take your revenge in that way. Personally, though, I'd rather dump the guy (if the marriage was, in fact, broken) and then do whatever the hell I wanted with whoever the hell I wanted. Because when you're single, you can do that.

So if the marriage is not broken then divorce should be avoided? i don't think people should take into account whether the marriage is broken or not. The thing is he/she was cheating on you, lying and betraying you. Just because the marriage was good and the cheater is a nice person doesn't change the fact what they have been doing. The pain, anger, etc is still there.
I don't care if the person has been nice to me if he cheats he will get it back.

Anonymous wrote:Two wrongs do not make a right. No.

This.

No. Cheating is more about the cheater and not about the cheated on or the other person.

I can certainly see why you'd want to take your revenge in that way. Personally, though, I'd rather dump the guy (if the marriage was, in fact, broken) and then do whatever the hell I wanted with whoever the hell I wanted. Because when you're single, you can do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Revenge is for the weak. Grow up and and deal. It doesn't matter if you choose reconciliation or divorce. The same advice applies.

What about the person who cheated then? i don't understand why one person has to always to all the work and cheater just lays back. Divorce is the best.

Of course it is the best, especially if you think you are owed a hall pass because your spouse cheated. It is juvenile. Marriage is not a game of "But he/she started it, waah!" or "She pushed me first, waahh!"

Presumably none of you are a child and should have no excuse for acting like one.

Anonymous wrote:No. And for you to even ask this question, OP, along with your stated vindictiveness, puts into question whether you are mature enough to even be in a serious relationship.

I am in divorce at the moment.

Anonymous wrote:Revenge is for the weak. Grow up and and deal. It doesn't matter if you choose reconciliation or divorce. The same advice applies.

What about the person who cheated then? i don't understand why one person has to always to all the work and cheater just lays back. Divorce is the best.

Revenge is for the weak. Grow up and and deal. It doesn't matter if you choose reconciliation or divorce. The same advice applies.

Anonymous wrote:Lol, I'm vindictive also so probably yes and I can imagine myself doing something real dirty like flucking one of his family members or friends. So to avoid the drama of that I'd probably just divorce.

Lol!

I wouldn't go as far as to cheat with someone dh knows but if I chose not to divorce, he can't bitch at me for having a ons with another guy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: I wouldn't cheat for vindictive purposes, but if my DW cheated on me, a condition of reconciliation would be that I get one hall pass for each of her past OMs, to be redeemed on a don't ask, don't tell basis.

So she can sit and wonder every time your gone if you're fucking someone else? Can you explain how that's not vindictive?

Oh my gosh, that's horrible!

Lol, I'm vindictive also so probably yes and I can imagine myself doing something real dirty like flucking one of his family members or friends. So to avoid the drama of that I'd probably just divorce.

^^Sorry, that was a statement, not a question.

"Is it right to get counseling if you are going to cheat or just get an divorce?"

Get a divorce, and counseling for yourself. You really need to figure out how to get rid of your vindictiveness - not a good quality or one that leads to happiness?