OP, don't waste your time on them. I've been married almost 9 years and we have 2 kids. My MIL is a huge b-i-a-t-c-h and doesn't think about anyone except herself, husband and her three adult sons. I have learned not to expect anything from her. Life is much better when I don't have to spend any time w/ her. Move on like everyone else suggests.

Why would you marry someone whose family out and out rejects you? How rich is he?

11:14 here. As for whether you should stop trying, I say just be yourself. Don't go out of your way to please them, but be kind and friendly when the opportunity arises.

They'll come around.

Your mutual friend should not be saying these things to you. She should be letting each of you figure stuff out together. She's causing trouble by making you suspicious of each other.

Deal with people directly rather than relying on secondhand information.

OP - similar to my issues with MIL and SIL. After having kids, I decided to stop trying and spend my time and money on my kids. I don't send presents or grab the check for dinners/lunches anymore. They were never reciprocated. The relationships aren't better but I feel better about myself.

Yes, I agree stop trying so hard and when you have kids, they'll realize you are really here to stay. My MIL and BIL was crazy and didn't approve of me, then I stopped trying, had kids and my husband stood his ground. It's better now, they don't try to make me feel bad anymore or excluded. Currently, they have problems iwth each other (MIL and BIL). It's not you, it is them.

OP are they from a different culture or something? Why are they rejecting you?

I would stop trying. When you have a baby, they will come crawling back around! Accept them back on your terms, with the support of DH.

they never will honestly.