Do you also hate it when people say, "Chop Chop" when they want you to hurry up??!!

Seriously I'm not sure that DCUM MILs are even human. I'm shocked at all these stories.

Oh ok, nevemind. Rereading the thread had helped me gain a better understanding of what your MIL probably meant by clapping.

Well I'm relieved this thread wasn't about gonorrhea. Sheesh clapping though? I wish the fuck my MIL would.

I am sure I sound like an ass but I find it odd when people want to hold my baby just for the sake of holding. My baby does not like to be held by people she doesn't know that well. Instead of forcing it I do not understand why people don't try to engage the baby and establish some trust before they go in for the hold. I never demand to hold any baby. If a baby wants to come to me after I have earned it then great. Otherwise it is too uncomfortable. My weird MIL from out of town will stare longingly at my baby during a visit but makes no effort to play with her, read to her, or get down on the floor with her. Suddenly, she will demand to take her and is hurt and bewildered when my daughter starts crying and lunges for me.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Babies are not that "refined" intellectually, so I find this statement is passive aggressive as well. Just tell her: "Yes sure, you can hold the baby." or "Not now sorry - I just got him/I want to hold him myself right now (or whatever the reason is)."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

She's southern. Does that count?

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time she does it say "Lights on. Lights off."

I take it you have the leapfrog table too...

Great, now I"m going to have that stuck in my head the rest of the night.

Huh? Never seen his before.

Strange.

Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, my MIL rubs her big, fat, dry paws together like a stereotypical movie villain right before tying someone to the train tracks. The is supposed to be my cue to hand my daughter over to her. I ignore it.

Omg I nearly snorted reading that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time she does it say "Lights on. Lights off."

I take it you have the leapfrog table too...

We do, but I meant it to refer to The Clapper.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clapper

I guess it's actually "Clap on. Clap off." It's been a while.