i still remember the time my mom refused to drive me to school (she literally passsed my school on her way to work) when i missed the bus. i hadnt done anything different in my morning routine but i just missed the bus and she refused. she made me walk two miles with no sidewalks on busy roads to get to school. it was a super bitchy and selfish thing to do. as a parent, i wouldnt want to over coddle my children but i also dont want them to remember me as a selfish mother.

Here's something we are grateful we learned from other experienced parents of teens: whenever teens call and say "mom/dad, can you please come pick me up?" we agree that we will. Sure, it's intended for when teens find themselves in more precarious situations, but I would have encouraged you to say "yes" to their request from the coffee shop. (Weren't they admitting they made a mistake?) Under no circumstances would I respond: "I'm gonna call the truant officer on you." WTH??

Anonymous wrote:

Nor do I. And the PPs who beat up on OP for this are the reason so many kids are growing up unable to cope with life. So they got drenched. Maybe next time they'll wear appropriate clothes for the rain.

Or learn that wet clothes, while uncomfortable, aren't the end of the world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

so what if you flip flop? you could say "you know what? that was a mistake, i am sorry, it was raining really hard". my kids seem to really respect when i admit and apologize for a mistake. and it is your job to take care of them. they may very well forget when they had to walk in the rain but they wont forget when you briught them dry clothes and admitted a bad call.

But maybe OP doesn't think it was a mistake to make them walk, despite feeling guilty about the wet pants.

(I don't think it was a mistake.)

Nor do I. And the PPs who beat up on OP for this are the reason so many kids are growing up unable to cope with life. So they got drenched. Maybe next time they'll wear appropriate clothes for the rain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

so what if you flip flop? you could say "you know what? that was a mistake, i am sorry, it was raining really hard". my kids seem to really respect when i admit and apologize for a mistake. and it is your job to take care of them. they may very well forget when they had to walk in the rain but they wont forget when you briught them dry clothes and admitted a bad call.

+1. And I think it would be valid to say "We both screwed up. As your parent, I should have driven you so you stayed dry. And, as a young adult, you should have listened to your parent and dressed appropriately for the weather so that you stayed dry. We both were at fault, let's both learn from this. Here's dry clothes, I'll pick you up when school gets out. I love you."

I would say this when they get home from school. They won't be damaged from wearing wet pants and they're probably not the only ones today. Its entirely possible they'll be more embarassed by Mommy bringing dry clothes to school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

so what if you flip flop? you could say "you know what? that was a mistake, i am sorry, it was raining really hard". my kids seem to really respect when i admit and apologize for a mistake. and it is your job to take care of them. they may very well forget when they had to walk in the rain but they wont forget when you briught them dry clothes and admitted a bad call.

But maybe OP doesn't think it was a mistake to make them walk, despite feeling guilty about the wet pants.

(I don't think it was a mistake.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

so what if you flip flop? you could say "you know what? that was a mistake, i am sorry, it was raining really hard". my kids seem to really respect when i admit and apologize for a mistake. and it is your job to take care of them. they may very well forget when they had to walk in the rain but they wont forget when you briught them dry clothes and admitted a bad call.

+1. And I think it would be valid to say "We both screwed up. As your parent, I should have driven you so you stayed dry. And, as a young adult, you should have listened to your parent and dressed appropriately for the weather so that you stayed dry. We both were at fault, let's both learn from this. Here's dry clothes, I'll pick you up when school gets out. I love you."

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

so what if you flip flop? you could say "you know what? that was a mistake, i am sorry, it was raining really hard". my kids seem to really respect when i admit and apologize for a mistake. and it is your job to take care of them. they may very well forget when they had to walk in the rain but they wont forget when you briught them dry clothes and admitted a bad call.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

Don't do it! Let them be uncomfortable- its only wet pants. Talk about it this afternoon and reinforce the boots/raincoat/prep you recommended before they left. You have nothing to feel guilty about- you recommended a course of action and THEY CHOSE to do something else. Let them learn that this decision has consequences. I think in the long run, you made the right choice.

A month ago, sitting at the airport, DH realized he forgot a paper he needed for a conference in his home office. I went out of my way FedEx it to him when he asked. Does that make him an entitled baby or just human?

Do you kids act spoiled in other ways? Are they never willing to do anything for themselves? Do they expect you to do everything? Bring them papers/PE clothes/permissions slips when they forget (all the time), etc.? Or was this a one off event?

Just basing it on dynamics from my own house with young teens/pre-teens, I suspect they were angry when you said you wouldn't drive and were then in no mood to listen to your advice about what to wear. Does that make them entitled brats or kids who are still learning to manage their emotions and reactions?

Not everything is a life lesson and "coddling" them now and then won't make them entitled 30 year olds who only want to live in your basement and play Xbox.

I drove mine to the bus stop. I figured his drop off at the school on the bus would be closer than my car would get.

My youngest I drove to school because he doesn't take the bus. Usually we walk. Not today.

Today was unusually harsh and driving rain. I drove mine to school. I would bring dry clothes. It is not every day that it rains like this.

Thanks for your input here. I am resisting my intense urge to bring them dry pants to school. I feel like such a flip flopper on that. I am constantly feeling guilty about such things--but I really have given them all the tools they need for school today--I refuse to raise entitled little baby adults.

The line about calling the truant officer crossed the line. Maybe you intended that to be a joke but the problem is that its a lie. You aren't really going to call a truant officer. So you throw something like that out there as a way to add emphasis to what you are saying but really its a way to avoid what you are saying. You should have been direct. "You need to go to school now. If you don't I will take away computer time (or whatever). By bringing in the crap about the truant officer you just teach them that you can't be direct and they can't trust what you say. Unless you were serious, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?

I would have given my kids a ride. In fact, I did. If you cant, you can't and they have to cope. But I don't think driving your child to school in the rain is coddling. And personally, I wouldn't want my child to be sopping wet all day. It seems to me they've already gotten the natural consequences of not dressing properly, why add to it? Why make them suffer to CONTINUE to prove a point you've already made?

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you been outside this morning?

I wouldn't want my kids walking for their own safety -- driver visibility is zero added to the typical careless distracted drivers.

I walked to work today. The parts of me not covered by raincoat and boots got wet, but I didn't melt.

And if driver visibility is zero, should OP be driving?