I find it strange personally when people feel like they didn't value their education as much when their parents paid in full. I appreciated their investment and worked my butt off. I knew they had sacrificed for me to have a good education. I enjoyed college, but I knew my job was to be a student.

I hope to pay for a good portion of my children's education, but with things as they are, it isn't easy to save as much as we are going to need. Cost of living is ridiculous these days, and we're all being asked to do more with less. We'll do the best we can.

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for 4 undergraduate degrees and 3 professional doctorates - at a mix of publics and privates. They clearly valued education. They never remodeled their house, not a kitchen, or a bathroom. They drove cheap cars - a pinto actually. This was Bethesda in the 70's.

Friends of mine today have remodeled their kitchen 1 or 2 times in 20 years, own 2 $35,000+ cars and gripe about instate tuition.

And those kids are eating in that kitchen and riding in those cars

Anonymous wrote:Paid for my own. Kids will pay for their own completely. They will be allowed to live at home for free, while in school, if that's an option for them

Same.

I won't do it. They'll be required to work and/or get scholarships.

My parents paid for 4 undergraduate degrees and 3 professional doctorates - at a mix of publics and privates. They clearly valued education. They never remodeled their house, not a kitchen, or a bathroom. They drove cheap cars - a pinto actually. This was Bethesda in the 70's.

Friends of mine today have remodeled their kitchen 1 or 2 times in 20 years, own 2 $35,000+ cars and gripe about instate tuition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paid for my own. Kids will pay for their own completely. They will be allowed to live at home for free, while in school, if that's an option for them

I'm the OP. They will need you to cosign any loans higher than the federal Stafford amount (pretty low IIRC). Will you do that?

I will not be cosigning.

I believe strongly in adulthood starting at age 18, so my son will certainly have skin in the game. I'm hoping that we may be able to save enough to cover in-state tuition, but he will need to pursue other funding or scholarships to cover housing and any extras. We are very behind on retirement savings, though, so I don't even know that we can do that much when the time comes.

My parents paid what they could for my first 2 years at a private school (about $400/mo on a payment plan) and I earned the rest through scholarships, grants, work-study, and loans. My final two years were free ride merit scholarships.

My husband did not go to college and has promised his daughter from a previous marriage that he will pay half of everything (tuition, room, and board) for an in-state college. She has never saved a dime of working through high school and now dropping out of two semesters of community college, so he is now regretting that he diss not prepare her all along to have some skin in the game, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my education plus expenses 100% and I believe it under-valued the experience for me. My kids will have skin in the game. I haven't figured out the system, but probably I will pay for their major expenses assuming a B and up, and they will be responsible for every bit of extra money - trips, food, entertainment, etc.

Ditto.

Me too.

Me three. Not entirely sure what the setup will be, but want my kids to feel personally responsible for their education.

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for about 2/3 of my expensive private school. I paid the rest with small merit scholarships, work, and students loans. I graduated with the equivalent of about $15K in loans in today's dollars. Not a huge amount, but it did affect my choices. I'd like my DS to avoid loans if he possibly can, but I'm not sure I'll be able to cover 4 years at my alma mater, which is $60K/year now. I plan to have 4 years of in-state tuition in his 529 and a frank discussion about what his options are if he decides to go a different route.

We are in the same situation. we hope to have the $80K needed for in-state tuition at UMD saved up. We earn too much for need-based financial aid but living in an expensive area makes saving for college difficult. $80K seems like a lot to me but it is just 1/3 of what we would need to send him to the kind of colleges we both attended thanks to our parents (but at much lower expense even accounting for inflation). I do not want my child to graduate with a ton of debt which he will not be in a position to deal with until after grad school

My parents paid for about 2/3 of my expensive private school. I paid the rest with small merit scholarships, work, and students loans. I graduated with the equivalent of about $15K in loans in today's dollars. Not a huge amount, but it did affect my choices. I'd like my DS to avoid loans if he possibly can, but I'm not sure I'll be able to cover 4 years at my alma mater, which is $60K/year now. I plan to have 4 years of in-state tuition in his 529 and a frank discussion about what his options are if he decides to go a different route.

My parents paid for the equivalent of an in state tuition for my private school - plus rent and food. I paid the rest with generous merit scholarships, engineering Co-op jobs that paid $12-16/hr and extended my graduation date by a year, and working 8-16 hr a week during my non co-op semesters (only Junior and Senior years). My during school jobs were always conductive to studying - library, computer lab. I graduated with $18k debt and I think it was just enough that I had the satisfaction and pride of working to pay it off, but it didn't cripple me starting out my adult life.

DH had full parental support through his PhD - he had a stipend, but parents still provided a used car, paid for him to go on family vacations and to fly home for holidays, bought clothes, paid cell phone.

We plan to pay for all of our kids undergrad, but I don't see a need to pay for grad / professional school. All the kids in DH's family got full support and didn't turn out entitled or spoiled. Our financial situation is closer to DH's parents than mine. DH and I often remark how much easier our 30s are because we have substantial savings, no debt, etc. because we had the luck to start out adulthood with paid off cars and little or no loans.

My parents paid for my undergrad tuition and fees (including dorm housing and the dining hall plan), plus they covered textbooks. I worked to earn money for anything else (which wasn't much by comparison -- clothes, toiletries, late-night take-out, etc.).

I think I probably took it for granted at the time, but as I got older I REALLY appreciated that I was able to start my adult life with no school debt. It made a big difference.

They planned to do the same for my brother, but he took a couple extra years to get his degree, and I think at some point my dad said, essentially, "I'll do one more year, and if you're not done by then, the rest is on you."

My dad's parents -- who were not super well off and lived in a small town in the deep south -- also paid his law school tuition, but when I went back to get a master's degree he was not in a financial position to do that (which was fine -- I was expecting to pay my own way, and was very grateful for what he was able to contribute -- I think it added up to about $2,000).

I hope to be able to, at the very least, cover the bulk of my kid's undergraduate tuition so that she's able to graduate without debt. It really was a huge help to me.

We will pay for what we can. Our priority is saving for retirement. there are no scholarships for that. If we cannot fund our retirement, we are doing our kids no favor by paying for college but not being able to care for ourselves in our golden years. Bottom line, school is expensive no matter who pays but parents who cannot afford it are certainly not any less decent folks then those who do. And by the way, paying for college is not the only way you can "help" your kids. My mom was not able to pay for my college, but she gave me the greatest support and example which was much more valuable to me. I'm almost 50 and she is always doing little things, babysitting, visiting, buying us dinner, etc. She does this because she can now and she wants to. A cherished relationship is the best thing I can do for my kids.

No, but they were broke and I got scholarships. I'll pay for my kids' undergrad education only.

My parents paid half of my in-state public university and I paid the other half. They did the same thing with my siblings.

DH and I have college investment accounts for all 3 of our kids and they will receive all of their account for college tuition payments; however, our contributions to those accounts come 2nd to our contributions towards our retirement accounts.