Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:43     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:

Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?

It's abuse.


And then the kid grows up and thinks nothing of belittling and beating up somebody else. Sad.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:42     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.



+1

Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?

It's abuse.


Not sure what's so amazing about my comment. Just because it's abusive doesn't make my statement less true.

Flawed as it is, it's still her style of parenting. Definitely of her method of correction/discipline, and possibly her social norm. And she very likely was raised that way so it is a learned behavior. Doesn't excuse it.


Correction: it could be a learned behavior. I don't know. But most abusive parents have been abused. Race doesn't change that fact.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:41     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.



+1

Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?

It's abuse.


Not sure what's so amazing about my comment. Just because it's abusive doesn't make my statement less true.

Flawed as it is, it's still her style of parenting. Definitely of her method of correction/discipline, and possibly her social norm. And she very likely was raised that way so it is a learned behavior. Doesn't excuse it.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:36     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.


As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.

Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.

PP, I respect your background, but you can't honestly think this kind of abuse is equal across socioeconomic status.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:35     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.



+1

Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?

It's abuse.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:34     Subject: Black moms and hitting
So can we all agree that this is trashy behavior?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:27     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.


As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.

Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:27     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.


Before y'all make too many generaiizations, I went to parochial school and you should have seen some of the nuns back in the day.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:26     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, as a white mom my kids know this is abuse. They are taught hitting another person is wrong. If you hit you are out of control.


Really?

As an Asian mom I spank my kids when I think it's needed. My kids know this is serious. They are taught to not be disrespectful to their parents. If you do, you are out of control. No, they are NOT toddlers as was the case OP was referring to.


I know some Chinese parents who really give it to their kids with a belt, for things like crying too much or being late to school.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:26     Subject: Black moms and hitting
It's not a black thing. I've been to the south, and poor areas and see it across all races. Sorry OP but no bingo for you.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:19     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.



+1
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:17     Subject: Black moms and hitting
PP again. I think there are a lot if young impatient parents too. Race isn't as much a factor as other things in the environment (age, education level, single family, low income, etc.)
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:15     Subject: Black moms and hitting
It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:09     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.


Not necessarily true. It depends on where you live. There are county resources for free or low income the therapy, domestic violence services and drug treatment. Many also take medicaid. Its the middle income who have a problem as they are either over income but struggling or have no insurance to cover it. Resources are for the poor or very rich.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2014 22:08     Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Wow, as a white mom my kids know this is abuse. They are taught hitting another person is wrong. If you hit you are out of control.


Really?

As an Asian mom I spank my kids when I think it's needed. My kids know this is serious. They are taught to not be disrespectful to their parents. If you do, you are out of control. No, they are NOT toddlers as was the case OP was referring to.