Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 11:36     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
OP ~ college orientation!! The college's orientation session over the summer is likely to do a very good job of acclimating them. The won't be able to hold sooo much new information in their heads at once, so that info need to take priority.

And luckily this is how they make new friends - wondering down the hall, sometimes in desperation, "Hey! does anyone know how to ..."
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 10:14     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Anonymous wrote:Wow. I have to agree with PP's (although I would have said it differently) that we were having a lot of these talks with our teens when they were in HS - especially about parties, substance abuse and sex assault issues. Our kids were not doe-eyed newbies when they hit campus.

That being said, the two major things that I would have emphasized more are money management and time management. Our kids were on an allowance and used money they saved from summer jobs but having manage to a budget was a challenge for them. Also in HS they had good study habits, but pacing themselves to a college workload (with a work study job) was also a challenge. They were able to procastinate in HS and still do well. In college, they could not do that.


My kids had the opposite issue. College life was far more expensive for them than high school life so they had a lot less money. They worked part time jobs but that went mostly to college related expenses. They learned to budget and live on a shoestring budget in college. Great life skills. Makes you realize how little you really need to get by.

Most the other skills on here the kids had been doing well before college. Living with roommates was probably the biggest adjustment.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 10:09     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Wow. I have to agree with PP's (although I would have said it differently) that we were having a lot of these talks with our teens when they were in HS - especially about parties, substance abuse and sex assault issues. Our kids were not doe-eyed newbies when they hit campus.

That being said, the two major things that I would have emphasized more are money management and time management. Our kids were on an allowance and used money they saved from summer jobs but having manage to a budget was a challenge for them. Also in HS they had good study habits, but pacing themselves to a college workload (with a work study job) was also a challenge. They were able to procastinate in HS and still do well. In college, they could not do that.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:56     Subject: Re:Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Anonymous wrote:- How to use the college meal plan OR how to cook their own food without poisoning themselves or starting a fire.

- What does not go in the washing machine (dry-clean-only suits), and what does not go in there together. How to use the college washing machine, which will be very different than your home washing machine. What does not go in the dryer (frisbees. Frisbees do not go in the dryer. Neither do suits, see above).

- What health insurance they have and how to use it if they need to see a doctor (do they need to have/show an insurance card? Will they have a copay at CVS minute clinic or the student health center, and how much? Do they have to find out first if a provider is in network? HOW do they find out if a doctor is in-network at 6AM on Sunday before finals when they are sick and sure it's not a hangover?)

- Money management. How to use an ATM, how to not get charged stupid little fees at the ATM, how to write a check, how to void the check they messed up writing, how to use a debit card and/or a credit card, when to use which type of card, how to keep track of accounts/bills/balances, how to pay bills, what to do when they forget to pay bills

- How to navigate the campus bus system, especially if they've never used a public bus before (probably not a problem around here)

- That if they are in their friend's dorm room while their friend is doing stupid illegal stuff -- like underage drinking or drugs or hiding stolen street signs from last night when he was very, very drunk -- and if they get caught in there by the RA, they will probably get written up for it too even if they weren't drinking/smoking/whatever just because they were there at the time.

- That if somebody has made bad or illegal choices and is in need of medical attention as a result, it is a far better choice to call 911 for them and deal with any consequences from that than to not do so and deal with the guilt of a friend possibly having a medical emergency or even dying. IF they end up in trouble as a result of a situation like this I might be disappointed in the choices that led to it but I will still be proud of them for looking out for a friend.

- How to mail letters or packages. Real ones, with envelopes, and stamps, and mailboxes or trips to the post office.

- How to write a decent professional-sounding email. (so they don't end up on a professor's wall of shame for using no titles, text speak, and no proper opening or closing)

- How to write a cover letter and a resume -- career and internship fairs, on-campus jobs, and research opportunities all start early.

- Basic first aid, and what medicines or treatments work for a variety of common minor illnesses. Otherwise you will get phone calls at strange times of the night from your normally very tough or independent child that start with "Mom, I feel like crap and I have an exam in the morning, help!". Actually, you will probably get these calls anyway.

- What a spam/phishing email looks like and that the bank will NOT send them one.

- How, when, and with what frequency you expect to hear from them (especially boys, most girls seem to contact home pretty frequently)


This is a great list!!! So many things I hadn't even thought about. My DD is a current Sophomore, but I'm going to start working on some of these things now. Thanks for sharing. I'm copying this and sending to her email.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:55     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
And another thing...from 9:47...speak up and set limits. I put up with far, far too much outrageous behavior from my freshman and sophomore roommates in university housing.

It's not okay to have roommate who chain smokes, yet indicated that she's a non smoker when you were matched.

If you are uncomfortable with your roommate bringing hook ups back to your room for sleepovers, say something. Same with opposite sex friends visiting for the weekend. Are you ok with having a s/o practically move in with you?
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:53     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Tell her to ask for help right away in case she doesn't understand lecture's material. Become friends with TAs. It is a lot easier for a professor to help a student he knows and who has expressed interest in actually understanding the subject. Tell her to go to every single review and exam prep session. Get a list of tutors for subjects she is not clear about. Also, consider taking classes such as math and science requirements at local community colleges summer before she starts college. Not only will she save money, she will actually start taking classes she enjoys. And tell her to monitor her major's requirements. It sucks being told you can't graduate because you haven't taken Intro to Political Science Methods
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:47     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Alcohol education. Teach your DC that yes, you can die of alcohol poisoning. I'm lucky to me alive; I went off to college sheltered and naive. Talk frankly about intoxication...setting limits and the effects of alcohol on your body - everything from getting drunk, to vomiting, to passing out, to blacking out, to hangovers, to peer pressure, to knowing what you are drinking (grain alcohol and moonshine were two new liquids new to me as a freshman and I drank these out of trash cans and bathtubs).

Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:05     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
The low expectations here for adult children is really kind o shocking. What have you parents been doing with your teenagers that they don't know how to ride a bus, do laundry, buy groceries, or that they should be studying every day? SMH.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:02     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Wow, your kid needs more independence, not a series of helpful tips. Tell her to read the college manual and start giving her freedom to manage her life now. If she ruins her clothes in the dryer or defaults on a credit card, so be it. She will learn.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 09:01     Subject: Re:Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Anonymous wrote:How to grocery shop, write a check, change a tire, pay bills, get involved, give back, change the oil, put air in the tires.


+1 on the grocery shopping. I am a female who likes to cook and I still stumbled my first few times in a grocery store. DH still remembers calling his mom to ask about what kind of chicken to buy for recipes (breasts vs thighs). Make your DC go grocery shopping for the family a few times before they go off to college. Point out how to compare prices, quality, choose fruits/vegetables.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 08:57     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Not to rack up a $26K debt on the credit card in 14 months.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 08:24     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How to handle money, including credit cards and opening a bank account in the new town/city. What DCs health care insurance situation is. If female, to go with a buddy to a party or bar and never leave without the buddy.


What's with the "if female" qualifier?


Because I never met a guy who went off with a girl by himself, ended up in a quiet back room of the frat house and got raped, both vaginally and anally. How's that? Maybe the male version should be to stick with your buddy if you get blind drunk so you don't get mugged or walk out into traffic against the light.


There are definitely guys who have been sexually assaulted while drunk at parties - by both other guys and by women. There was an "Ask reddit" question about male sexual assault and it was really eye opening to see so many guys writing stories about having been sexually assaulted by adults - and often by women. Obviously the incident rate is still much higher for women than men, but it is an issue for guys as well. Being drunk and alone is never a good idea - regardless of sex or gender.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 08:20     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How to handle money, including credit cards and opening a bank account in the new town/city. What DCs health care insurance situation is. If female, to go with a buddy to a party or bar and never leave without the buddy.


What's with the "if female" qualifier?


Because I never met a guy who went off with a girl by himself, ended up in a quiet back room of the frat house and got raped, both vaginally and anally. How's that? Maybe the male version should be to stick with your buddy if you get blind drunk so you don't get mugged or walk out into traffic against the light.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 08:15     Subject: Re:Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
How to grocery shop, write a check, change a tire, pay bills, get involved, give back, change the oil, put air in the tires.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2014 08:05     Subject: Things Our DC Need to Know Before Leaving for College
How to clean!!! I've had many roommates who didn't know how to do laundry, how to clean a toilet, what to use to mop floors, how often to wash sheets.

Also, how to do minor home repairs, hang pictures.