Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 18:29     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I met my DH at work. We have a great marriage, 9 years.


Alpha


What does that mean? He's bigger and stronger than the other males? He is on the short side, but taller than I am and he was over weight, but has sexy arms

I read that statistically, most people in modern times meet their spouses through work.

We were both single.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 17:17     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you had done any real research, you would have found that divorce rates are significantly lower for college-educated people than for those with less education.

Oh so plus 1. Check the actual research, OP.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 17:09     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Uh actually the data shows that college graduates are more likely to get married AND to stay married than any other group.

The divorce rate has actually dropped and is highest among a small subset of people who unfortunately seem to divorce more than once. The more worrying problem, from an economic health standpoint is the overall marriage rate has dropped.

I see public intellectual type articles all the time wondering how to export this success more widely across society where less people are getting married overall. the Atlantic runs pieces on these subjects regularly.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 16:59     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:I met my DH at work. We have a great marriage, 9 years.


Alpha
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 16:42     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.


Women are only mentioned in one out of six points.


and the point is basically that, women working ruins families.


Haha, before I opened this I already knew that would be the conclusion. Lets see what knind of crazy attacks traditional home maker women will level against working women on this topic.


You're as irrational as OP.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 16:11     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

I met my DH at work. We have a great marriage, 9 years.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 16:10     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

You know what always astounds me? People like the OP are somehow under the very strange impression that infidelity is new or more prevalent in "this day and age". Makes me think of how people thought listening to Elvis Presley caused promiscuity and how the youth were "going to hell in a hand basket" in 1962.

Affairs are just harder to keep discreet. Thats all. You hear about it more. I mean look at JFK 's philandering with Marilyn Monroe, people kept quit. Bill Clinton gets a blow job and it's international news.

Nothing new to see folks...move along.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 16:03     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.


Women are only mentioned in one out of six points.


and the point is basically that, women working ruins families.


Haha, before I opened this I already knew that would be the conclusion. Lets see what knind of crazy attacks traditional home maker women will level against working women on this topic.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:43     Subject: Re:Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

I'm pretty sure that none of the guys working for me are alphas. But whatever.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:36     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:WTF?

My friends and family members without a 4 year degree have had much more infidelity than those of us with one.



Research shows college educated people have lower divorce rates. OP is clueless.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:26     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:The late 1940's-mid 1970's were an anomaly in American life as the US was enjoying the postwar economic boom. The Ward Cleaver/Donna Reed lifestyle was celebrated with the wife at home while the husband worked and a station wagon was in the driveway. People got married right out of college and life expectancy was in the low 70s. Flash forward over forty years and the world between men and women is completely different. Here are factors that support why divorce and/or infidelity are almost unavoidable for college educated couples:

1) people get married much later and have more complicated emotional and sexual histories.
- If the average college educated person has 2-4 serious relationships before they meet their spouse, there are 2-4 situations that did not work out. Hence, a 100% failure rate. Why should the marriage work out any differently?
- having more sex with more people leads to a continued curiosity that is not easily satisfied with one person.

2) women are in the workforce.
- there are many more opportunities for men and women to find partners for cheating vs. the 1950s where the milkman or postal carrier was generally the only one available for this
- the fact that women earn money provides them with the resources to leave a marriage if they are not happy
- married women achieving professional success can begin to believe that they "deserve" sex as part of the reward for their hard work (men also, I suppose)
- women in the office are exposed to alpha males. There is an undeniable appeal that these men have to them combined with the fact that they see co-workers more than their own spouses

3) modern communications.
- smartphones, FB, internet sites (e.g. Ashley Madison), etc. all give someone who wants to cheat plenty of places to find someone. There was no equivalent in earlier times.

4) the sexualization of American culture.
- no matter where you look, TV, movies, internet porn, etc. the ability to look at other human beings in a purely sexual manner have never been greater. This has increased American's expectations for sex - frequency, quality, need to experiment, etc. IF it cannot be found at home. women in the workforce creates a never-ending stream of affair partners

5) no-fault divorce
- divorce can often be easier than filing your income taxes. Something easy is easily abused.

6) people are living much longer
- be honest, can you really imagine in your 30s having sex with only one person for the next 50 years? Knowing their entire routine and still being excited?




Lot of generalizations but ok.

I would add that many also model themselves on their own divorced or cheating parents.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:21     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is BS. Money and education decrease odds of divorce.


But not infidelity. People who earn more have more access to others and spend less time at home because of job demands.


I love how people just come out with a statement as if it is true!! Back it up.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:18     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:This is BS. Money and education decrease odds of divorce.


But not infidelity. People who earn more have more access to others and spend less time at home because of job demands.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:18     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.


Women are only mentioned in one out of six points.


you mean the one about women achieving success who feel like they deserve sex as a reward or how they can't keep their panties on around alpha males?


LOL. Interestingly enough, most men I encounter in my professional life, at all levels, are actually betas pretending to be alphas.

Alphas are generally broke dudes who have 4 kids by 4 women and simply don't give a fuck about anyone around them or what anyone thinks of them. When keeping it real goes wrong.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 15:18     Subject: Why Divorce and/or Infidelity Are Almost Unavoidable for College Educated Couples

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a veiled misogynistic rant.


Women are only mentioned in one out of six points.


you mean the one about women achieving success who feel like they deserve sex as a reward or how they can't keep their panties on around alpha males?


Well it can't be the ones who are successful, because they will never be married because the don't ever want to out earn their husband, according to Phyllis.