Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught this age range for over ten years. I never had any child bite or kick another child, under my care. To the hysterical poster calling me a liar, go right ahead, if that's what you think you need to do.

Bullshit

Example of what an aggressive toddler can become. She can't bit or kick me, but she can still be nasty.

I'm sorry your legit question is bringing out the crazies OP. I tried to give some helpful tips - I think it's good to talk it over with your son. Ask him questions you know he can answer - "You were feeling upset when Joey tried to take the toy? It hurt when he bit you?" Listen to what he has to say, even if it's just one word answers. NYT had interesting article recently called "raising moral children" that found expressing disappointment is the best way to curb bad behavior, even with 2 year olds. So talk through the incident with him, express disappoint that he hit the other child. Express empathy that he was also hurt. Brainstorm how he can react differently next time there's competition for a toy - which is likely to be tomorrow, right? - so talk to him about how he can handle it better tomorrow and be a good sharer.

Poor kid. That's why I don't use daycare.
It's like kenneling your kid.

OP here. For those who are saying this is not normal, what are you suggesting is the underlying cause/reason? What is the normal reaction then, if two young toddlers are vying for the same toy and obviously only one can play at a time? So was the biter's behavior not normal either?

Agree with PP - totally normal. Kids are like puppies. Play sometimes turns to fighting and ends in tears. A lot of these base reactions (like hitting and biting) disappear naturally when language skills develop.

Anonymous wrote:I taught this age range for over ten years. I never had any child bite or kick another child, under my care. To the hysterical poster calling me a liar, go right ahead, if that's what you think you need to do.

hit?

I taught this age range for over ten years. I never had any child bite or kick another child, under my care. To the hysterical poster calling me a liar, go right ahead, if that's what you think you need to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You clearly know nothing about toddlers and normal development. Bugger off.

To the OP: agree w earlier posts to just keep working on using his words

Don't ask how much parents pay me for consultations.

Liar.

Exactly. Hitting and biting are normal behavior for some toddlers. These are 19 month old boys who were upset and wrestling over a toy. These aggressive responses fit the age and the situation. Aside from working on DS using his words, you might read books like Hands Are Not for Hitting and No More Hitting for Little Hamster. You might role play asking for a turn or asking for "help." Remind him often to ask teachers for help. Overtime they will learn better impulse control and how to use their words. The teachers might work to intervene faster for a while, particularly between these two.

Sure. Hitting is normal for some parents to.

I didn't say acceptable. Everyone involved should work to curb it. I said normal, meaning a young child hitting another young child happens at some point in most preschools most days. Biting is not as common but still happens between young children occasionally and it is within normal limits. They don't have the language or coping skills and many of them at 19 months are still easily overwhelmed by their negative emotions and have little in the way of impulse control. Within normal yes, acceptable no.

Wow. Unbelievable. I say this as a former teacher of many years in the classroom with children of this age range. Your beliefs must be out of somewhere very new. Sounds like someone's patting you on the head, reassuring you everything's fine (and "normal"), no matter what the truth is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. They all go through phases...yours will probably move on to biting next then kicking then the screaming phase. Just keep reinforcing good behavior-- it's just something he's trying out for now and if you keep reinforcing good behavior, he will move past it.

Where did you pick this up? Physical aggression is not normal healthy development, at any age. Sorry.

The research I’m familiar with on early childhood development tends to disagree with you. I don’t have time at the moment for extensive research, but here’s a small sample of sources for where I got this idea:

According to a parenting strategies document for ages 1-3 prepared by the University of Oklahoma’s Health Sciences Center, “Some aggressive behavior is normal for toddlers”. http://www.ouhsc.edu/vetparenting/PDF/Veteran_Parent_Booklet_Toddler_Rev110303.pdf

According to the National Center for Infants Toddlers and Families, aggressive behavior is part of typical development: “Like most aspects of development, there is a wide variation among children when it comes to acting out aggressively. When he is angry, frustrated, tired or overwhelmed, he may use actions such as hitting, pushing, slapping, grabbing, kicking, or biting to tell you: “I’m mad!” “You’re too close to me, get away!” “I’m on overdrive and need a break.” Or "I want what what you have!"” http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/challenging-behavior/aggressive-behavior.html#childcare

There is scientific evidence underlying the idea that there are specific developmental periods when an increase or decrease in aggression is expected. One of many such studies is linked here --> Temblay RE. Development of physical aggression from early childhood to adulthood. In: Tremblay RE, Barr RG, Peters RdeV, editors. Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development. Montreal, Quebec: Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development; 2002. pp. 1–6. www.excellence-earlychildhood.ca/documents/TremblayANGxp.pdf

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You clearly know nothing about toddlers and normal development. Bugger off.

To the OP: agree w earlier posts to just keep working on using his words

Don't ask how much parents pay me for consultations.

Liar.

Exactly. Hitting and biting are normal behavior for some toddlers. These are 19 month old boys who were upset and wrestling over a toy. These aggressive responses fit the age and the situation. Aside from working on DS using his words, you might read books like Hands Are Not for Hitting and No More Hitting for Little Hamster. You might role play asking for a turn or asking for "help." Remind him often to ask teachers for help. Overtime they will learn better impulse control and how to use their words. The teachers might work to intervene faster for a while, particularly between these two.

Sure. Hitting is normal for some parents to.

I didn't say acceptable. Everyone involved should work to curb it. I said normal, meaning a young child hitting another young child happens at some point in most preschools most days. Biting is not as common but still happens between young children occasionally and it is within normal limits. They don't have the language or coping skills and many of them at 19 months are still easily overwhelmed by their negative emotions and have little in the way of impulse control. Within normal yes, acceptable no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You clearly know nothing about toddlers and normal development. Bugger off.

To the OP: agree w earlier posts to just keep working on using his words

Don't ask how much parents pay me for consultations.

Liar.

Exactly. Hitting and biting are normal behavior for some toddlers. These are 19 month old boys who were upset and wrestling over a toy. These aggressive responses fit the age and the situation. Aside from working on DS using his words, you might read books like Hands Are Not for Hitting and No More Hitting for Little Hamster. You might role play asking for a turn or asking for "help." Remind him often to ask teachers for help. Overtime they will learn better impulse control and how to use their words. The teachers might work to intervene faster for a while, particularly between these two.

Sure. Hitting is normal for some parents to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. They all go through phases...yours will probably move on to biting next then kicking then the screaming phase. Just keep reinforcing good behavior-- it's just something he's trying out for now and if you keep reinforcing good behavior, he will move past it.

Where did you pick this up? Physical aggression is not normal healthy development, at any age. Sorry.

This discussion is about young toddlers and not physical aggression in teenagers, etc.

Get off the hysteria train.

Well, since you asked what I would do: I'd tell my kid that I was disappointed that he hit another child. I'd make sure DCP knows to give an immediate time out when anything like that happens. I'd then roll play the scenario a few times at home - another kid is trying to take a toy away, how do you handle it? You can say "no!", run to the adult in the room, or you can simply give it over and find something else to play with. So play those good alternatives out so the kid can practice. Praise the good options. End the roll play with a recap that hitting is unacceptable and not an option.

Then, I'd move on with my evening. At drop off tomorrow morning, I'd remind my kid what we talked about - that you can either call/run for help or give the toy up when another kid wants it. No hitting. Kiss & good bye.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You clearly know nothing about toddlers and normal development. Bugger off.

To the OP: agree w earlier posts to just keep working on using his words

Don't ask how much parents pay me for consultations.

Liar.

Exactly. Hitting and biting are normal behavior for some toddlers. These are 19 month old boys who were upset and wrestling over a toy. These aggressive responses fit the age and the situation. Aside from working on DS using his words, you might read books like Hands Are Not for Hitting and No More Hitting for Little Hamster. You might role play asking for a turn or asking for "help." Remind him often to ask teachers for help. Overtime they will learn better impulse control and how to use their words. The teachers might work to intervene faster for a while, particularly between these two.

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. They all go through phases...yours will probably move on to biting next then kicking then the screaming phase. Just keep reinforcing good behavior-- it's just something he's trying out for now and if you keep reinforcing good behavior, he will move past it.

Where did you pick this up? Physical aggression is not normal healthy development, at any age. Sorry.