I agree with the PPs who say you need a budget that includes "fun" or free money for each of you to spend as you each see fit. If you can't do it yourselves, see a financial planner.

Same here. DH spends more and earns more. I don't nag him about little things like lunches or coffees out even though I pack from home. Instead I try to get him motivated on saving (right now down payment for next home). It's almost like a competition to see how much we can get into savings each month. DH still spends on little things and that's fine,, but he's thinking more long term now and it has worked! We've saved 100k over the last year! We have vacation funds too so maybe start getting him thinking about saving rather than nagging on the little stuff. Just my 2 cents

Anonymous wrote:So take home paid is about 14k a month and you eat at chilli's. Troll.

Why? We make more and eat Chili's and On The Border from time to time

Anonymous wrote:Your husband makes ~$500k a year, and you are worried about lunch at Chili's? Honestly, stop nagging him or you'll be his ex wife.

This.

And you have the nerve to say you NEED to dye your hair etc etc. No, you don't. You want to because it makes you feel better about your appearance. Why on earth are you trying to nag a man who makes mid 6 figures about $15-20 lunches at Chili's!? You make no sense.

Let it go and let it go quickly.

So take home paid is about 14k a month and you eat at chilli's. Troll.

Op, you are being too controlling. Its not your place to rell him what to eat for lunch. And I say this as a control freak myself.

Maybe you guys should set a budget. I.e each of you get $500 per month to spend any way you please. Everything else goes to pay bills, invest or save.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband makes ~$500k a year, and you are worried about lunch at Chili's? Honestly, stop nagging him or you'll be his ex wife.

+1

This is idiotic. My DH is not going to "pack" a lunch to save money and he only makes $350K a yr.

This sounds like a troll post.

When we were having a similar disagreement, we sat down and made a budget that included a certain amount of money a month for each of us that was ours to spend, no questions asked or comments allowed (within reason, if DH had spent it on hookers and blow I would have commented). That way we stayed with our bigger picture financial goals and stopped arguing completely about frivolous spending. I think it's dumb to get $5 coffee at Starbucks, but it's his money, so whatever. I know it's not more than a certain amount a month, so it's not a big deal.

We make a lot less than you though, so it was easy to get DH on board with the need to fit it into our budget.

When I wanted my husband to start taking his lunch, I made sure there were enough leftovers from dinner the night before packed and ready to go. But then again, he agreed that we were overspending - it was just a harder habit for him to break than for me.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're out of line, honestly. He's not you, he doesn't have to think like you. At that income level, lunch at Chili's is hardly extravagant. If your budget is tight, look at that car, but don't go nuts about his lunch.

+1

OP, do you spend money on clothing, makeup, etc? I am pretty frugal, so is DH. We don't spend that much, just, as you say, a lot on vacation splurges. Cars are always paid in cash.

However, DH likes his wine. So he spends a few hundred on them a month. They are not expensive wines. It's his one splurge, which compared to our HHI, isn't that much. If they were expensive, then I'd say something.

I splurge once in a while on pricier makeup, some shoes (normally on sale but still adds up). Every so often I get a new handbag, sunglasses, again usually under $50. It's not every month, but it adds up. He, on the other hand, doesn't spend on things like that.

We each have our little splurges, and relative to our HHI, they are little splurges.

If the splurges are reasonable, ie, eating lunch out at Chilis, let him have that. What is he splurging on Amazon? We get books, stuff for the house, etc. NP with those.

I understand where you're coming from. Like I said, I am very frugal, but people need to enjoy the fruits of their labor. So, really, don't sweat the little splurges. If the shopping at Amazon is getting out of hand, then talk to him about how you feel.

Your husband makes ~$500k a year, and you are worried about lunch at Chili's? Honestly, stop nagging him or you'll be his ex wife.

Anonymous wrote:Get a job or stfu

I have a job.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn't sound like a "bragplaint."

Too late!