It seems to me you are concentrating on your eating. But your therapist is more than likely concerned about your depression as well. Not eating and isolating yourself are signs of severe depression. She may want to consult your PCP because of your weight issues and disordered eating if she hospitalizes you but you would probably go to a psych unit.

What is going on with you, OP? Are you on SSRIs?

OK, DH is clearly a large part of the problem.

Buy some Ensure and refrigerate it. It can taste like a milkshake.

Its not your weight or BMI thats the problem, its the fact that you aren't eating. You are messing with your metabolism. It sounds like you have a caring, attentive therapist. Listen to her.

OP here. Thanks PPs for the reality check. My mom recommended some of those Carnation instant breakfast drinks I liked as a kid, so I'll start there. I'll also try not to put myself in a position where DH can comment if I am eating something he thinks is unhealthy, which she also suggested. Hopefully I can pull out of this. I wish my mom were local.

Anonymous wrote:Just stop seeing that therapist if you truly feel like she is off base.

Agree. I had a therapist threaten me with involuntary commitment because she thought that I was suicidal because I was "throwing my life away". I dumped her. BMI of 18 is fine. Nowhere near hospital territory.

Opposite of a former anorexic here; I am formerly morbidly obese. But as a "former", I transformed my unhealthy eating habits into healthier ones by taking small steps to establish new routines, and it seems perhaps that could apply here as well.

OP, in addition to your normal daily foods, could you do something like make a smoothie in the blender in the morning (2% Greek yogurt plus whatever fruit you like), stick it in an insulated cup, and try to finish it each day by mid-morning? Could you eat a handful of your favorite nuts as a snack each evening? Could you make a plan to try out one new restaurant for lunch each week, since you tend to eat better when out? Could you invite someone over for dinner once per week? I don't know if those specific things might work for you, but I'm just throwing out ideas to get the wheels turning.

I would get your thyroid checked. Could you be hyperthyroid?

I am also formerly anorexic. The less you eat the worse it gets regardless of whether you have an ed. To get out of this you have to slowly add more food. Otherwise your brain and body just won't want food. Your brain and body change when you severely restrict food, so it spirals even worse. You can get out of this but you have to agree to up the eating as much as you can

Former anorexic here (as former as one can be). You have an eating disorder and your therapist is doing what she should be doing. 500-600 calories a day will screw up your metabolism - permanently. You run the risk of your heart stopping. Lack of food seriously impairs your judgment. Your fears are exaggerated and you just want everyone to shut up and leave you alone.

The way I got through it was to not think about the big picture - but just what I was going to do that day. If you have been counting, stop counting. If you haven't been, set a number of 1500 calories. Eat that much tomorrow. If you get hungry, eat more. If your DH is giving you grief (can't quite tell if 19:38 is OP), tell him to cut it out permanently or throw him out. He's got his own problems, and of you fall prey to them it could kill you.

Also, talk to your doc about the anti-depressant. May take several tries to find the right one. Also, if you are taking hormonal birth control, stop. That stuff can make you batsh*t crazy.

Are you taking medications related to the surgery? Any pain killers, etc?

I had an orthopedic surgery six months ago, not too long after we did a big intervention with my DH about his drinking. After the surgery I didn't want to eat or drink, couldn't sleep, and ended up in the ER with severe dehydration. The p doc put me on a something to help me sleep, then later on an anti-depressant, and now has increased the dose recently for both when I felt myself sliding further itno the depression. But the short answer is my eating has been screwy ever since the surgery. DH had been on me and on me and on me about my weight and getting into shape (this isn't new; he's done it for years especially whenever he wanted to lose wieght), and he didn't stop until his mother freaked out about my weight loss and told him to shut up. But that was three months ago. He hasn't said much about my weight since.

I was eating too much before my surgery because I didn't care anymore since I knew I couldn't exercise until after the surgery. I weighed the most I have ever weighed not pregnant and probably had a BMI of 23-24 (I weighed about 136, which crept on over several months in the summer, but I was down under 130 even before the surgery). But now I have the exact opposite problem. I just eat enough to take the hunger edge off unless it is to sit down for a nice meal out.

Anonymous wrote:I am not planning to quit seeing my therapist. OP here. I weigh 110-112 right now and I am 5'4". My goal weight was 120, which is what I weighed when I go pregnant with my first child 12 years ago. I am in my late 40s, if that makes a difference.

I have taken the anorexia quizzes and I never score in the anorexia or even disordered eating range, so I am just trying to get some insight into her thinking.

I think her concern is that you do not LOOK like you could lose any more weight and the numbers are backing her observations up. It is worrisome that you are aware that your weight is dropping too low to be healthy, yet, you continue this pattern of not eating and losing even more weight. That is also very dangerous.

What on earth brought this on? Have you always had an eating disorder and looked healthy enough before so that no one really noticed? Or did this really just crop up in you 6 months ago?

If you were at a healthy weight only a year ago, what were you eating and how often were you eating back then?

Anonymous wrote:I'm not very good at eating at home by myself, so I have a couple easy foods that I make for myself: grilled cheese and carrots, mac and cheese, etc.

I count calories to make sure I get enough. Every day. When I don't eat enough, then I feel low the next day, low energy, low mood.

Maybe it wasn't clear, I'm not OP. I was giving OP a suggestion for what I do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any relatives who have problems with addictions -- whether alcohol, sex, food, or drugs? If so you may want to look into whether you have an eating disorder. These things run in families.

No, that's my husband's family, not mine. Alcohol, drugs and anorexia all three in his family. My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic, but that's it. Depression, yes, that we have. And cancer.

Grandfather who was an alcoholic. That's pretty close. My father was an alcoholic and then my kid became an alcoholic. Fortunately they're both in recovery. Anyway, you should look into the eating disorder thing. Sorry to tell you that but I think it's a good precautionary measure. Hope it's not true.

OP you said you track calories to make sure you eat enough, and now you are saying you don't know but it is usually 500-600. You are in denial and should probably listen to your therapist.

Anonymous wrote:She made me promise I would eat. She said that she thinks it is more than just my depression and that if I didn't get control of it this week then I was to talk it over with my p doc, but she isn't convinced it is just my depression. I do eat on vacation or if I go out to dinner. I am just not great at it left to my own devices.

Yes, I got a cold recently. Yes, I've lost a lot of weight, some of it I actually wanted to lose. I am only about 10 pounds under my goal weight and my BMI is right around 19, so I guess I am not sure why she is throwing out words like hospital. She was saying my metabolic system could get messed up and make my depression even worse and cause other problems. This whole situation has been going on for about 6 months, but my wieght hasn't gotten any lower than this , and sometimes I get it to go up a few pounds.

Does anyone have any insight?

You've lost a lot of weight lately, 10 lbs more than you meant to. She's right, that can be physically dangerous.