This is OP. I am seeing a psychologist - once a week in fact. But thanks. I was looking for advice of BTDT mommies specifically- my psychologist is great, but it doesn't mean I am not having a really hard time, and sometimes moms who have been through the same thing and are on the other side to share wisdom/perspective can help. Was expecting some friendly pep talk, not insults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I just mean that it was awful the first time around- anxiety, depressed, loss of control, takes over your life with all the appts and monitoring, hormones shots etc. so it's just really hard to be back there again and doubly exhausting to do it while also taking care of a toddler bc I have so little time to take care of myself the way I did last time... Just wondering if anyone else did multiple rounds of ivf for both kids and has any perspective/wisdom from the other side? How to emotionally get through it...

Oh, cry me a river. You tried few times and you DID GET pregnant and now you complain that you may have to try few more times before you get pregnant? Want an advice - appreciate what you have and stop whining. As someone who has been thru 7 (yes, seven) IVFs and 2 surgeries and has never seen a BFP (and will likely never see one), it is really hard to sympathize with you. If you are overwhelmed and depressed, you may want to see a counselor for your sake and the sake of the child you have.

WTF is this!? Go see a counselor yourself. I know IF sucks, but no need to take out your frustrations on someone else in pain.

I have seen a counselor, that's why I am not whining on anonymous boards. I am grateful for what I have and that I never had to experience a miscarriage. So yes, there is always worse. Go back and read the OP post, her biggest problem is that she might have to try few more times before she is successful. if IVF has worked once, it is highly likely it would work again. I did think that she may be suffering from depression ( as did few others ) and that's why I suggested counseling ( which btw is the only constructive suggestion made so far). Not sure how the " hang in there" and " we have all been there" actually helped her.

This is not a topic to measure each other's pain and compete who has suffered the most but to find the positive in the pain.

I am the OP. I wholeheartedly agree with the prior 2 posters. WTF. who tries to one up someone else's pain? It's not like I haven't been through my own sh*t. Sorry you dont have your first DC yet- that sucks and I feel incredibly sad for you. But I dont deserve to be attacked just because the process happened to work for me once already after a long hard fought journey that I am currently reliving.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I just mean that it was awful the first time around- anxiety, depressed, loss of control, takes over your life with all the appts and monitoring, hormones shots etc. so it's just really hard to be back there again and doubly exhausting to do it while also taking care of a toddler bc I have so little time to take care of myself the way I did last time... Just wondering if anyone else did multiple rounds of ivf for both kids and has any perspective/wisdom from the other side? How to emotionally get through it...

Oh, cry me a river. You tried few times and you DID GET pregnant and now you complain that you may have to try few more times before you get pregnant? Want an advice - appreciate what you have and stop whining. As someone who has been thru 7 (yes, seven) IVFs and 2 surgeries and has never seen a BFP (and will likely never see one), it is really hard to sympathize with you. If you are overwhelmed and depressed, you may want to see a counselor for your sake and the sake of the child you have.

WTF is this!? Go see a counselor yourself. I know IF sucks, but no need to take out your frustrations on someone else in pain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I just mean that it was awful the first time around- anxiety, depressed, loss of control, takes over your life with all the appts and monitoring, hormones shots etc. so it's just really hard to be back there again and doubly exhausting to do it while also taking care of a toddler bc I have so little time to take care of myself the way I did last time... Just wondering if anyone else did multiple rounds of ivf for both kids and has any perspective/wisdom from the other side? How to emotionally get through it...

Oh, cry me a river. You tried few times and you DID GET pregnant and now you complain that you may have to try few more times before you get pregnant? Want an advice - appreciate what you have and stop whining. As someone who has been thru 7 (yes, seven) IVFs and 2 surgeries and has never seen a BFP (and will likely never see one), it is really hard to sympathize with you. If you are overwhelmed and depressed, you may want to see a counselor for your sake and the sake of the child you have.

Please try to be supportive.

Signed,
BTDT
(10 years, countless IUIs, 9 IVFs, 5 surgeries, 6 m/cs for successful #1)

Ok let's not get into a battle of primary infertility vs. secondary infertility. This is a NP. Someone who has been through both. People with primary infertility think the secondary folk dont appreciate what they have, have no right to complain. it's HARD. it's different. your desire for another child is different from your desire for a child altogether- and it doesnt make you greedy or deluded to feel that way. the secondary infertility folk get no respect. imagine going through all the treatments and stuff while simultaneously having a life that's not your own b/c you're constantly exhausted taking care of a toddler. imagine having to go back into the hell-hole of IVF all over again. yes, all things considered, anyone would rather have one child than no children, but the people suffering for #2 arent in that world- and just because some are worse off than they are doesnt mean their situation isnt hard. PP, someone out there is a dying in a refugee camp. does that mean that your situation doesnt suck or feel awful? some people have infertility AND their parent dies suddenly. some people have infertility AND they lost their house in a fire. there's always people worse off and better off and everyone's misery is their own. you cant accuse someone of not having it hard just because you have it harder- IVF sucks. infertility sucks. whether it's worked for you once before or not.

Anonymous wrote: I just mean that it was awful the first time around- anxiety, depressed, loss of control, takes over your life with all the appts and monitoring, hormones shots etc. so it's just really hard to be back there again and doubly exhausting to do it while also taking care of a toddler bc I have so little time to take care of myself the way I did last time... Just wondering if anyone else did multiple rounds of ivf for both kids and has any perspective/wisdom from the other side? How to emotionally get through it...

Oh, cry me a river. You tried few times and you DID GET pregnant and now you complain that you may have to try few more times before you get pregnant? Want an advice - appreciate what you have and stop whining. As someone who has been thru 7 (yes, seven) IVFs and 2 surgeries and has never seen a BFP (and will likely never see one), it is really hard to sympathize with you. If you are overwhelmed and depressed, you may want to see a counselor for your sake and the sake of the child you have.

Thanks PP- how many cycles did you do for #1 and then #2? how long did it take to get #2?

It is a really tough journey. But I would focus on the treatment and try not to worry about the age gap between siblings. It's really rare to find a mom of two kids who spends any/much time regretting an age gap. Seems like most moms end up being happy with more time in between the siblings because the older one is calmer and can help you out by the time the young one comes. But it's easy to dispense advice now- when I was going through IVF, I had the EXACT same feelings about being upset that my kids would be four years apart. Now I could care less- just glad to be having a second.

Sorry OP. Hang in there. Many of us in the same boat.