Go on your family vacation and send a nice gift. Why did cousin plan wedding on a sunday? I had mine on a Saturday of a weekend holiday so most people would be able to come and they wouldn't have to use vacation days.
Regardless, you already had plans, so stick with the plans. Your mom needs to butt out of your business. You are an adult, so make an adult decision.
My very close cousin wanted me to visit him and his gf on my anniv. We already had plans so I declined. They broke up a few months later and I was glad I put our marriage first.

Just go to the rehearsal dinner. And depending on what time the wedding is, go to the ceremony and skip the reception.

Anonymous wrote:Skip it. You have prior plans, and ditching a family vacation (which, if your family is like mine, is precious and greatly needed) in order to attend a wedding is not something that you *have* to do. If you want to attend, that's different, but if you aren't really dying to attend then skip it. Your mother will have to understand that the life of your nuclear family takes precedence, for you, over the life of the extended family. Your cousin will still enjoy her wedding without you!

+1 and I come from a family where weddings are very important.

I might feel differently if this were your own sibling, but your mother's cousin planned an event when you already had prior plans. Yes, if you were dying to go then you could look into a plane ticket. But, I think it's perfectly valid to send your regrets in this case.

Yes, the Sunday weddings can be frustrating but if the couple is on a budget they really are so much cheaper for them. I'm sure they will get regrets from others who are also unable to take Monday off. And that's okay, since everyone has to make their own choices. My brother got married on a resort on a major holiday weekend, and had lots of No rsvp's from friends and family who couldn't afford $200-300/night hotel rooms.

Just tell them you're so sorry, but you made vacation plans before you knew the wedding date and already put down a nonrefundable deposit. Plus I agree w/PP, a wedding on Sunday night?

It's kind of obnoxious to get married on a Sunday, unless it's for a religious reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents will want all family members present I am guessing (not OP).

That, too. It'll look really bad if only I show up - as if my DH doesn't want th o come...

For all you know their head count is tight and they're hoping you won't show. Apologize and explain you've already a planed and paid for a trip. Send a very nice gift and note.

Skip it. You have prior plans, and ditching a family vacation (which, if your family is like mine, is precious and greatly needed) in order to attend a wedding is not something that you *have* to do. If you want to attend, that's different, but if you aren't really dying to attend then skip it. Your mother will have to understand that the life of your nuclear family takes precedence, for you, over the life of the extended family. Your cousin will still enjoy her wedding without you!

You're talking about June right now, and it's probably early enough to change your vacation days.

But I agree with PPs that you're just looking for excuses because you have no desire to go to the wedding. If you don't want to go, don't go, but don't make a big thing about your obligations. It's unkind to the person who has included you for her special day.

OP - and the, "what would you do?" Don't live life by taking a poll. I mean I know this is a message board and wouldn't be very entertaining without it, but make sure this isn't how you make decisions - worrying about who/and how much you are going to disappoint.

If you already have a vacation down south from Saturday until Wednesday then why would you be trying to make it back to work on Monday.

If the wedding is Sunday (2nd day of your 5 day vacation) then I wouldn't go. Just say you already have vacation plans that aren't flexible. If the wedding is the weekend after you get back from vacation, then I don't understand the issue. Go on your own to the wedding when you get back.

Maybe I am misunderstanding the dates as I don't understand the Monday = work talk.

Anonymous wrote:So you are driving?

Ohio in June is fantastic. Take the kids to Cedar Point. You can have a great vacation there too.

Np here. This is one good idea. Or, you can fly out early Monday morning to your destination in the south (wherever you were going) and fly home late on Weds.

First of all get your husband out of the equation. I don't think you should go to the wedding because it just doesn't work for you. Stop the apologizing. Just don't go. But get use to the possibility of doing your-family stuff just you. And husband his-family stuff just him. Not always, but at least consider it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to take the Monday off? I'm a little confused by that. I see no problem with going to the wedding and then saying "I'm sorry we can't stay Monday but we've had a vacation booked for months". Best of both worlds. YOu go to the wedding and you don't disrupt your vacation.

Can you go to a Sunday night wedding in Ohio and make it back to DC for work Monday morning?

When I posted this, OP hadn't said the wedding was in Ohio.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to take the Monday off? I'm a little confused by that. I see no problem with going to the wedding and then saying "I'm sorry we can't stay Monday but we've had a vacation booked for months". Best of both worlds. YOu go to the wedding and you don't disrupt your vacation.

Can you go to a Sunday night wedding in Ohio and make it back to DC for work Monday morning?

OP you clearly don't want to go. So don't. Family will have to deal with it.