Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am unbelievably happily married. No pretending here either! In fact I think I downplay our happiness since all my friends aren't so happily married. No one wants to be the downer at happy hour when all their friends are whining about their lazy husbands!

I thank my lucky stars daily that my DH is amazing and such a hard worker, cleaner, cook, etc.

+1 Though I am heartbroken that my BIL and SIL are separating. She called on Sunday to ask my thoughts on how to make things better. They are great people, but both are unhappily married.

My tips for happiness-
- don't try to change the person/accept him or her faults and all
- let things go. Do not let minor issues turn into major issues
- do not be passive aggressive. Say what you mean, mean what you say
- be kind. Name calling, trying to discuss things while angry or any kind of abuse is never acceptable.
- be emotionally and physically present each day (even traveling spouses can be present via text, email or webchat)
- if you forgive, make sure you don't hold the issue over his/her head. No one deserves to have a mistake thrown in their face for the rest of their life.

- also accept that some people are not meant to be married. You cannot force puzzle pieces to fit together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am unbelievably happily married. No pretending here either! In fact I think I downplay our happiness since all my friends aren't so happily married. No one wants to be the downer at happy hour when all their friends are whining about their lazy husbands!

I thank my lucky stars daily that my DH is amazing and such a hard worker, cleaner, cook, etc.

This is why I hate being among women who make a habit out of tearing down their husbands. And we're all expected to participate like it's just what women do.

My DH rocks.

I'm glad your dh is wonderful, but some women aren't as fortunate as you are. It's not that women enjoy tearing down their husbands, but sometimes a good outlet for frustration and a sympathetic ear is necessary to maintain one's sanity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am happily married, no pretending here. I consider myself truly, truly lucky. Eight years now.

I'm happily married and have been married for 21 years. We haven't been happy the whole time, though. It's been up and down, depending on the circumstances. Family, kids, jobs, money all put stress on a marriage.

Maybe the people who are unhappy now will be happy in the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Joan Rivers advice from her mother was for a woman to 'marry down' in terms of attractiveness of her partner.

Good-looking married women married to men that are much less attractive seem to have 'or appear' to have happier marriages. It's like the guy is in disbelief he could land somebody good-looking. The women tend to call the shots and the guy does as told or worships the ground she walks on.

When the husband is more attractive or more of equal stature (and they are both good-looking) it makes for a dicier arrangement.

I think that is horrible advice.

Anonymous wrote:I am happily married, no pretending here. I consider myself truly, truly lucky. Eight years now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Joan Rivers advice from her mother was for a woman to 'marry down' in terms of attractiveness of her partner.

Good-looking married women married to men that are much less attractive seem to have 'or appear' to have happier marriages. It's like the guy is in disbelief he could land somebody good-looking. The women tend to call the shots and the guy does as told or worships the ground she walks on.

When the husband is more attractive or more of equal stature (and they are both good-looking) it makes for a dicier arrangement.

I think that is horrible advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am unbelievably happily married. No pretending here either! In fact I think I downplay our happiness since all my friends aren't so happily married. No one wants to be the downer at happy hour when all their friends are whining about their lazy husbands!

I thank my lucky stars daily that my DH is amazing and such a hard worker, cleaner, cook, etc.

This is why I hate being among women who make a habit out of tearing down their husbands. And we're all expected to participate like it's just what women do.

My DH rocks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am happily married, no pretending here. I consider myself truly, truly lucky. Eight years now.

same here, but 5 years.

Anonymous wrote:I am unbelievably happily married. No pretending here either! In fact I think I downplay our happiness since all my friends aren't so happily married. No one wants to be the downer at happy hour when all their friends are whining about their lazy husbands!

I thank my lucky stars daily that my DH is amazing and such a hard worker, cleaner, cook, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Joan Rivers advice from her mother was for a woman to 'marry down' in terms of attractiveness of her partner.

Good-looking married women married to men that are much less attractive seem to have 'or appear' to have happier marriages. It's like the guy is in disbelief he could land somebody good-looking. The women tend to call the shots and the guy does as told or worships the ground she walks on.

When the husband is more attractive or more of equal stature (and they are both good-looking) it makes for a dicier arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:I am very happily married and like a PP, try to keep mum about it for the most part since many of my friends are unhappily married. They do notice the lack of tension, though, and the overall happiness and frequently comment about how they wish their marriage was that great.

On the flip side, there are qualities I see in other husbands that I wish my husband had (i.e., more outgoing and flirtatious with me).

Honestly, I have found that the ones who are very vocal about their happy relationship are either 1) In a pretty new relationship or their first "real" relationship, or 2) Are actually quite unhappy.