Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your mil's house but yours. She needs to keep her mouth shut. If I had someone discourage me from getting a home I liked bc of that, I would laugh in their face.

You don't quite understand a certain mind-blowing (to us westerners) aspect of many Asian cultures. It is believed that parents own everything their kids own. They feel they own their kids, for that matter. So the MIL feels she has every right to her say about the house.

How old is MIL? 100? From Timbuktu? I am Chinese. Never seen any Chinese parents under 60 trying to "own". They might be outspoken within the family, but you can reason or ignore them.

Anonymous wrote:if your MIL is chinese don't they live in china? how hard can it be if they are across the ocean?

Best answer!!

Can't you throw it back on her? Like "I already own this place and now your grandchildren will die if YOU can't find a feng shui master good enough to fix this."

I can't even be sympathetic to this.

It's a house purchase. You are already under contract. If you are in the DC metro area, I am guessing you put a lot of thought into where to buy and if it's a desirable area had to put some work into getting your offer accepted. Unless your MIL is making a financial contribution to the house I say the next time she starts up just look in her the eye and tell her to shut up and go home. And mean it.

if your MIL is chinese don't they live in china? how hard can it be if they are across the ocean?

So you kind of get it, but not really. You're sassy and westernized. ;D

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your mil's house but yours. She needs to keep her mouth shut. If I had someone discourage me from getting a home I liked bc of that, I would laugh in their face.

You don't quite understand a certain mind-blowing (to us westerners) aspect of many Asian cultures. It is believed that parents own everything their kids own. They feel they own their kids, for that matter. So the MIL feels she has every right to her say about the house.

I'm the pp you responded to and Indian who grew up here. I do understand about parents receiving respect and yada yada yada.....I still wouldn't let anyone discourage me from making my own decisions about big aspects in my life. It's about speaking up sometimes and not just deferring to elders just because they are older than you.

Anonymous wrote:It's not your mil's house but yours. She needs to keep her mouth shut. If I had someone discourage me from getting a home I liked bc of that, I would laugh in their face.

You don't quite understand a certain mind-blowing (to us westerners) aspect of many Asian cultures. It is believed that parents own everything their kids own. They feel they own their kids, for that matter. So the MIL feels she has every right to her say about the house.

OP here. MIL/SIL are still in full swing and playing all their cards. Poor husband has been dealing with the majority of it though I did get a doomsday voicemail from MIL predicting great harm to my children. Yep, she went there. Her predictions are always wrong: great grandma has been predicted to die several times (but she's still kickin' it), husband was suppose to be injured during surgery (he was fine) and most recently, our 3rd was suppose to be a boy (she's a beautiful little girl). We are still proceeding with the house and currently negotiating inspection items. This experience has clearly taught me to re-evaluate participating in feng shui all together.

On a side note, I was truly hating MIL last night. This morning, my sister and her family who had only been our house guests since 3 pm yesterday had to leave. Her awesome MIL was in surgery for a brain aneurysm and the outcome doesn't look good. My anger toward my own MIL instantly dissipated. Granted, I'm still annoyed but have been able to put this situation into life's perspective.

It's not your mil's house but yours. She needs to keep her mouth shut. If I had someone discourage me from getting a home I liked bc of that, I would laugh in their face.

Have your husband deal with his mother's cultural-based issues. There's no winning. I say that as a white American with an Asian spouse.

Anonymous wrote:http://articles.latimes.com/1993-07-18/realestate/re-14361_1_bad-feng-shui

I feel for you, OP. This article says a south-facing house is ideal. Would a 2nd feng shui opinion help?

My family is Chinese, but not feng shui practitioners. Our friends couldn't find a feng shui suitable house, so they had to build one. Surely MIL will realize a new build is not possible?

I'm Chinese, and I was always told that south-facing is the best. Of course, this could be the south-facing family room in the back of the house is best. A south-facing front door would be contrary to that, assuming the front door and family room are in opposite sides of the home. Practically speaking, south-facing family room would benefit you because of the tilt of the earth. You would have a warmer family room in the winter, and cooler family room in the summer. I think the feng shui is based upon that.

I thought North facing was bad feng shui b/c the north receives the brutal winter wind.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is old school--there are no fixes (at least in her eyes). She practices a very conservative, strict method. Googling won't help--trust me, she's out there.

Time for your DH to man up and grow some.

Are you white?