I agree that everything is about choices. I am the PP with the two kids in MS in a SN school. I felt that it was critical that they be in a school that could offer them the support they need. Thankfully they do not need extras like OT or ST, so that is not an additional expense. I also did not want to keep paying tutors and cutting into their precious down time. We have made it work because we did not want to look back and say we should have made the move early on rather than suffer through the hit or miss of the public school system in our area. Travel is important but fortunately we have a second home that serves as a vacation home but it limits our ability to travel more extensively. We can live with that right now. There are families that get financial aid but even with aid, you may still be paying $20-30K. It is a big decision but unfortunately the K-12 education years are finite and middle school is critical. We wanted to get the support our kids needed in those critical years.

Anonymous wrote:The deduction does seem helpful but even after that, it's still quite the sum.

We have been considering a special needs school for DS but wrestle with the cutting back and how DS will feel about that. DS has pretty severe LDs and ADHD. We have traveled pretty extensively with him -- and he's actually a great traveler/open to different experiences. There are benefits to that type of experiential travel and, honestly, we'd hate to cut back on it (even if we did, it would still be tough to come up with these sums of money). We've thought of downsizing by moving but that too presents its own challenges in relation to commuting etc. Real estate just doesn't come cheap around here. How DS would feel about a change in lifestyle is something we've been wrestling with. Maybe it's shallow -- we live well but not luxuriously by any means (one car is 10 years old. The other lasted 13 years before we had to replace it last year). Money seems to go to the mortgage, DS and we're not walking around with huge savings.

I know, it sucks but it sounds like you're trying to justify to yourself that having the money for travel is a priority. That's fine if it is - life is all about choices and only you know what is best for your child and your family. Financial aid might be a possibility and the deduction will help too IF your child goes to a special needs school with a very specific mission to treat LDs. Depending on your income and assets and other medical expenses, you could probably reduce the cost of some of these schools to 20K or so. Yes, lots of money still but maybe more realistic than you think.

The deduction does seem helpful but even after that, it's still quite the sum.

We have been considering a special needs school for DS but wrestle with the cutting back and how DS will feel about that. DS has pretty severe LDs and ADHD. We have traveled pretty extensively with him -- and he's actually a great traveler/open to different experiences. There are benefits to that type of experiential travel and, honestly, we'd hate to cut back on it (even if we did, it would still be tough to come up with these sums of money). We've thought of downsizing by moving but that too presents its own challenges in relation to commuting etc. Real estate just doesn't come cheap around here. How DS would feel about a change in lifestyle is something we've been wrestling with. Maybe it's shallow -- we live well but not luxuriously by any means (one car is 10 years old. The other lasted 13 years before we had to replace it last year). Money seems to go to the mortgage, DS and we're not walking around with huge savings.

You are correct PP. I did not realize this expense was deductible. Good thing we have not filed our taxes yet! For those of you who are interested, here is a link to an article in the Journal of Accountancy about deducting expenses of a special needs school. It is considered medical care or services. As always, consult a professional to confirm. http://www.journalofaccountancy.com/Issues/2013/Jun/20137378.htm

Anonymous wrote:What do you right off associated with the tuition? I am 16:16 and we write off the after school program or study hall, which is considered child care.

We write off special needs school, ot, speech, medical expenses (we usually exceed our catestrophic deductible) and whatever else we are directed to document.

Anonymous wrote:We got a good tax attorney and write off everything we can.

THIS 1000!

What do you right off associated with the tuition? I am 16:16 and we write off the after school program or study hall, which is considered child care.

We got a good tax attorney and write off everything we can.

My husband and I have a fairly high HHI but we have had to make some adjustments. No expensive vacations, for example.

16:16 - OP here. So... how do you manage? what do you do to pay this insane amount?

I have two kids with ADHD in private school. We receive some financial aid but it still ends up being about $55-60K per year with the add ons.

<<Sorry to say, welcome to the 99%. Despair and hopelessness abounds. >>

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about applying for financial aid if it is offered? And, can you make it work with some aid? Most schools will not provide 100% financial aid and school systems are backing off paying for outplacement services. So, for example, if the school provides $10 - $15K aid out of a total tuition and fees of $35 - $40K, can you afford the balance?

This. Plus, we don't go on vacations (big lavish trips--we do a trip to Grandma's yearly though). We don't eat out more than once a month. We coupon, buy clothes on sale, cut our cable, drive older cars, use our savings and retirement. All this for specialized private, outside OT, Speech, tutors etc....

We do that for the supplement, can't cut enough for private (have to live somewhere and eat something).

Everyone's financial situation is individual, but perhaps to consider spending what you might have contributed to a college education now in the early years, including taking out a certain amount in loans, for some would be an important consideration to give a son or daughter the opportunity of a good education for a lifetime. It would also be understood that this early extra financial tuition support would be shared with the teen at the appropriate time, and therefore that the idea of going to an area community college first and then transferring to a state school or a college would be understood. Of course, if the student could apply and get a great package from a state or other college that would also be an option. The point is that parents need to understand, especially if there are other siblings, that what you are doing for one child in the early years financially may equal out to what will be done for others in later years under the more typical college-bound scenario. Most financial advisers would not recommend robbing your retirement funds unless you have a solid way to repay what is taken out in the future.

Regarding financial aid and what is offered, schools vary. So you would be better served talking directly to the admissions official at the schools in which you are interested to see what options are available. They should have a director of FA.