Anonymous
Post 04/03/2014 10:43     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has your mother ever accepted a single invitation? If not, your mother is just plain rude. She can go once. That's called being an adult.


She might, but being invited for Christmas morning every year is not something she has to accept "just to be nice." Some people have their own traditions.


That is EXACTLY the kind of thing you accept just to be nice. It won't do you any harm to go to someone's house on Christmas morning and socialize with your in-laws.


I disagree. Meeting for coffee is the sort of thing you accept just to be nice. Not attending a major holiday.

Anonymous
Post 04/03/2014 10:03     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
It is not your job to run interference for your Mom. I would stay out of it. If you in-laws say anything to you, just say, "It was really nice of you to invite Mom. I'm sorry she wasn't able to take you up on your offer." Then let it go. They are adults, and neither of them should put you in the middle.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2014 14:36     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Sounds like my MOM!
I am in the same situation. My MIL eventually got the hint and doesnt call or invite her as often.

My mother and MIL were quite close for a long time but eventually had a falling out which my MIL is clueless about. I guess you could say they grew apart at their old age lol

I would just not say anything. Eventually your MIL will get the hint.

Anonymous
Post 03/31/2014 13:18     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has your mother ever accepted a single invitation? If not, your mother is just plain rude. She can go once. That's called being an adult.


She might, but being invited for Christmas morning every year is not something she has to accept "just to be nice." Some people have their own traditions.


That is EXACTLY the kind of thing you accept just to be nice. It won't do you any harm to go to someone's house on Christmas morning and socialize with your in-laws.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2014 12:36     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:Has your mother ever accepted a single invitation? If not, your mother is just plain rude. She can go once. That's called being an adult.


She might, but being invited for Christmas morning every year is not something she has to accept "just to be nice." Some people have their own traditions.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2014 11:58     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:My MIL keeps inviting my parents to holidays. My Mom isn't a fan of MIL and keeps declining. This puts me in a rather awkward position since MIL doesn't understand why my Mom keeps saying no. I really don't enjoy hanging out with both of them at the same time though anyway because they both get weirdly competitive, especially when my kids are around. It's stressful. How should I handle this situation? Do I just ignore it? Do I say something to MIL? Do I try and make my Mom go?


Not your problem. MIL is pushy. NO means NO. If she doesn't understand this, she has a problem.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2014 21:31     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has your mother ever accepted a single invitation? If not, your mother is just plain rude. She can go once. That's called being an adult.


Exactly. And I would even say, being polite to the in-laws not just once, but a couple of times a year, is something that an adult should be expected to do.

+ tell your mom that at the end her actions hurt your marriage and happiness.
My MIL is rude and looks down on everyone but her immediate family. Although my parents are well aware of her attitude they go out of the way to be nice to her - they know I have enough drama already.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2014 21:18     Subject: MIL/Mom problem
Anonymous wrote:Has your mother ever accepted a single invitation? If not, your mother is just plain rude. She can go once. That's called being an adult.


Exactly. And I would even say, being polite to the in-laws not just once, but a couple of times a year, is something that an adult should be expected to do.