Anonymous wrote:er....why can't the kiddos just surf porn on 3G when the wifi is turned off?

Around here everyone's wifi is locked--there is no way to access the internet with out wifi. They know they're not allowed to use cellular data to surf--$$$ and they have respected that.

You people are NUTS for letting your kids keep their iPhones with them at night. Absolutely out of your mind. My kids are 24, 22, 20, 18, and 12. All of them have iPhones. Until they leave for college, those phones go on the kitchen counter at night. I do trust my kids. I don't trust all of their friends. If you think you can check their iPhones to see what they send and receive, you are truly clueless. Snapchat allows pictures to be sent and received, but deletes them within seconds. KiK allows them to message back and forth undetected. There are hundreds of other apps just like those. FaceTime basically allows your kids to invite anyone in their bedrooms with them via live chat. Do you really want your 15 year old daughter chatting face to face with her boyfriend while she is in bed? Think she won't do it? Come on! I would have.

Take those iPhones away at night! There is no good reason for kids to have them in bed with them. Also, the notifications, even on silent, light up the room and disrupt sleep.

Anonymous wrote:OP here--I am not concerned about texting so much as--surfing on the wifi exposes them to pr0n. I searched the internet and found a device called curbi.com for 5$ a month you can install a program on your kid's iPhone or iPad that will block access to any site you want at what ever time you want.

I can't believe that the people who are saying all or nothing really have teens. Are you kidding me? There has to be an in-between for trusting your kid and acknowledging that their are impulses that they aren't under control of yet.

Anyway, I am going to install this program from curb.com, I'll report back how it goes. We parents need to stick together on this and not just tear each other down for making a tactical error. These phones are a minefield--good for you if taking your 14 year old kid's phone away at night doesn't cause a huge amount of resentment and bickering--it does in my house-I'm just trying to fix this, not be my child's "friend".

OP, do your teens have cellular access? If so, curbi won't do much. They can still text, download new apps that you don't know about so won't know how to block) etc.

Even if I am totally wrong, I can guarantee you that your kids will see this as going back on your word. I agree porn is a problem, but you really should have made clear what you were offering before you made the promise. Now the best you can do is offer them full access until they abuse it.

I'm not sure why this isn't registering with you. If you don't see this point, you must be a very hard mom to live with and an even harder one to respect.

er....why can't the kiddos just surf porn on 3G when the wifi is turned off?

Your router can be programmed to control each individual device. For example. you can set parental controls to turn off wifi on your kids' iphones but leave it on for the computer, or your iphone, or whatever. We do this.

Maybe this will help, depending on which router you have:http://support.linksys.com/en-us/support/ccc/PARENTALCONTROLS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 16 and 14, both have docking stations in their rooms to charge their phones. So we don't take the phones away at night. Our expectation is the phones are off at bedtime (9:30-10) and both are compliant, for the most part. But my son is up at 5:30 three times a week to weight lift, also just started baseball, and my daughter does gymnastics four days a week- both are physically tired and ready for bed most days. Maybe we've just been lucky but my kids have self-regulated well.

To the OP- what specific concerns do you have about wifi and nights? Is it just that they'll be up surfing the internet all night? Personally, I'd talk with your boys about your expectations and give them a shot at keeping them in their rooms first.

You have. Boys will eventually surf for pr0n. And let's face it this isn't Playboy we're talking about here but really sick sh*t. Sure they could get it other ways but, this slows it down. And all their pictures show up in my cloud stream and they know that.

PP here- not just boys. Not just kids. That content is out there and will eventually be seen. Lots of conversations need to be had about viewing and especially posting of content.

there is a saying nothing good happens aftermidnight. There is a new updated saying. nothing good comes from kids having phones in their rooms.

Anonymous wrote:Would this help? It seems like it is only half a solution as it can't block incoming calls unless you block specific numbers.
http://www.att.net/smartcontrols-SmartLimitsForWireless

But I'm with the other posters in that I don't understand the issue. You said they could have their phones on school nights. That means after homework is done and dinner clean up is complete, they get their phones until bedtime. At bedtime, they turn in their phones to your room until breakfast.

OP here- I'm not going to parse words with them--that would just be an intellectual insult with my kids and backfire, believe me.

Anonymous wrote:Would this help? It seems like it is only half a solution as it can't block incoming calls unless you block specific numbers.
http://www.att.net/smartcontrols-SmartLimitsForWireless

But I'm with the other posters in that I don't understand the issue. You said they could have their phones on school nights. That means after homework is done and dinner clean up is complete, they get their phones until bedtime. At bedtime, they turn in their phones to your room until breakfast.

hahahahahaha. Do you have teens?

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 16 and 14, both have docking stations in their rooms to charge their phones. So we don't take the phones away at night. Our expectation is the phones are off at bedtime (9:30-10) and both are compliant, for the most part. But my son is up at 5:30 three times a week to weight lift, also just started baseball, and my daughter does gymnastics four days a week- both are physically tired and ready for bed most days. Maybe we've just been lucky but my kids have self-regulated well.

To the OP- what specific concerns do you have about wifi and nights? Is it just that they'll be up surfing the internet all night? Personally, I'd talk with your boys about your expectations and give them a shot at keeping them in their rooms first.

You have. Boys will eventually surf for pr0n. And let's face it this isn't Playboy we're talking about here but really sick sh*t. Sure they could get it other ways but, this slows it down. And all their pictures show up in my cloud stream and they know that.

OP here--I am not concerned about texting so much as--surfing on the wifi exposes them to pr0n. I searched the internet and found a device called curbi.com for 5$ a month you can install a program on your kid's iPhone or iPad that will block access to any site you want at what ever time you want.

I can't believe that the people who are saying all or nothing really have teens. Are you kidding me? There has to be an in-between for trusting your kid and acknowledging that their are impulses that they aren't under control of yet.

Anyway, I am going to install this program from curb.com, I'll report back how it goes. We parents need to stick together on this and not just tear each other down for making a tactical error. These phones are a minefield--good for you if taking your 14 year old kid's phone away at night doesn't cause a huge amount of resentment and bickering--it does in my house-I'm just trying to fix this, not be my child's "friend".

My kids are 16 and 14, both have docking stations in their rooms to charge their phones. So we don't take the phones away at night. Our expectation is the phones are off at bedtime (9:30-10) and both are compliant, for the most part. But my son is up at 5:30 three times a week to weight lift, also just started baseball, and my daughter does gymnastics four days a week- both are physically tired and ready for bed most days. Maybe we've just been lucky but my kids have self-regulated well.

To the OP- what specific concerns do you have about wifi and nights? Is it just that they'll be up surfing the internet all night? Personally, I'd talk with your boys about your expectations and give them a shot at keeping them in their rooms first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the password and don't give it to them

I just want to turn it off at 9:00PM. They can use them up to then. I promised the phones for grade motivation. I HAD been taking them away at night before --see my post…

It still doesn't make sense. Take the phone away at 9. Are you allowing them on the phone, no wifi until whenever they want?

Why doesn't it make sense? I promised them they could have them at night if their grades went up--I don't want to go back on my promise. If they don't have wifi--at least they can't surf but I would have kept my promise. In other words how can I give it to them and still maintain control over the surfing.

It was a silly promise. You are ok with them staying up until whenever, texting friends, as long as they aren't surfing the net? Be a parent, not a friend.

Will you stop saying this? Being a parent doesn't mean maintaining an insane amount of control over your children until the day you have nothing left to manipulate them with.

Umm no one said all of that.

Some carriers (like Verizon) allow parents to set controls for time limits per day, etc. You can go in through your account and change the settings so that the phone turns off at a specific time each night. But -- remember it won't work in an emergency either...

Would this help? It seems like it is only half a solution as it can't block incoming calls unless you block specific numbers.
http://www.att.net/smartcontrols-SmartLimitsForWireless

But I'm with the other posters in that I don't understand the issue. You said they could have their phones on school nights. That means after homework is done and dinner clean up is complete, they get their phones until bedtime. At bedtime, they turn in their phones to your room until breakfast.