What if a girl wanted to wear a star wars or spider man backback?

When my grown son was in second grade, one of the girls mocked him and called him "Gymboree Boy" because of an outfit her wore. He refused to wear Gymboree after that. Should I have called the school and complained?

The difference here is that in schools that dictate, it applies to all. Here, the restriction was applied to one kid.
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We don't really know that. As a teacher, I would have talked to the mom and told her why it was a distraction. Most parents don't want to put their kids in a tender position.

Anonymous wrote:Many schools do dictate certain things, such as school uniform policy (which likewise helps to avoid teasing, bullying and other issues) or clear backpacks (to keep kids from bringing inappropriate things to school).

The difference here is that in schools that dictate, it applies to all. Here, the restriction was applied to one kid.

Many schools do dictate certain things, such as school uniform policy (which likewise helps to avoid teasing, bullying and other issues) or clear backpacks (to keep kids from bringing inappropriate things to school).

I don't pretend that a school can prevent all bullying or negative "fallout" from a kid not fitting a gender stereotype. So the student and his parents might need to talk at home about the fact he might be teased, and the student himself should decide whether he wants to bring the backpack to school or keep it at home.

What the school has no business doing to telling the student he can't bring the backpack--that's tantamount to participation in the bullying. And "the backpack is a distraction" is a poor excuse. It's a distraction if you can't establish order in a classroom, but simply disallowing disruptive behavior. And many teacher's can't. And that's a problem, because if the teacher can't keep a handle on kids' behavior, then its not the character backpack causing disruptive comments, it'll be something else.

"Bronies" are going to get plenty enough eyerolls, sneers, teasing and harrassment from adults. Multiply that by 50 and you have the 9 year old world.

Anonymous wrote:To have some kind of silly cultural phenomenon like "bronies" you'd at least have to have some level of shared cultural awareness in the first place.

But that's not the case here - remember, here we are dealing with dorky, clueless, knee-jerk 9-year olds who have zero social and cultural awareness.

Bronies were once little boys, you realize.

You know what the result of all of this will be? No "character" backpacks for anyone. Of course, most third graders have already figured that out.

Is it bullying if the other kids don't want to play with him?

Of course this should be their position, but that doesn't mean they will always be successful at stopping bullying.

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And, remember, do you really want the teacher to spend hours -and it could be hours-on this, or do you want him/her teaching?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, here is where I am getting lost: Why would a boy be bullied for wearing a My Little Pony backpack? Tons of boys like My Little Pony, and there are entire groups of men who are into it called "bronies." I'm really, really confused why this was an issue at all?

I can't imagine you are seriously confused about this. MLP is considered a girl's toy and kids bully other kids who are different. Not right, but it's what happens.

I have a boy who beats to his own drum and is capable of standing up to quite a lot, including what others would consider verbal bullying. But, he has his limits. If something is too girly, such as princess related things and/or MLP, he would choose not to take it to school. And, while there may be a group called "bronies", few know about it and it's not going to change how kids treat boys who carry MLP gear to school.

It's not right, but if this boy is going to choose to carry MLP and his parents are going to allow it, they need to teach him how to handle the bullying. He's going to need to know how to identify it, how to report it, how to avoid it, etc. And, he's going to have to develop the ability to actually follow through with reporting it.

The school's position should be that bullying is not acceptable. Period. This could have been a teaching moment against bullying. Instead they ended up bullying the MLP kid!

Of course this should be their position, but that doesn't mean they will always be successful at stopping bullying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school is trying to avoid what they probably know will happen. You can have all of the anti-bullying education you want but kids will still tease other kids.

Actually, no.

OK, as a parent of a kid who has suffered through bullying, I would love to hear how you completely stop kids from teasing other kids. In what environment does this exist?