Anonymous wrote:I would get rid of the goldfish crackers, candy, "fruit" gummies, sugared-up yogurt, etc. They just aren't very healthy and if they are the replacement for real meals, it would be better to have better snack choices as the only alternative to meals. Here are some things that we have around for snacks that my kids will eat that pack in a bit more nutrition: packages of dried seaweed (they all like it, it's salty), baby carrots (or other crunchy veggies) and hummus (or peanut/almond/cashew butter), cheese sticks, plain greek yogurt with honey or jam to stir in, nut crackers (Blue Diamond makes them), baby tangerines, nuts esp. unsalted (or pepitas), apples, baby sweet peppers, tortellini with olive oil, tortillas with melted cheese. Be light on the dried fruits as some have tons of added sugar to preserve. Healthy cereal and milk/almond milk also works (I feel moderately good about the frosted mini wheats, regular special K with maybe sprinkle of granola, regular cheerios with same as choice). I hear you on the food hiding and temptation and unhealthy snacking. My kids get dessert most every night and won't reach first for fruit. I also find candy wrappers hidden around when there has been candy in house from Halloween/Easter/somebody's birthday party. When I decide that they aren't eating well enough, I replace all the junk snacks we accumulated somehow with healthier choices. Or if they really want snack-y food, I make them bake it. Even if it's loaded with sugar/butter/refined flour, at least they will have performed an activity (cooking) and made it with real food. I think it is fine to cut out food that is causing her to replace meals with bad choices -- if it isn't sitting around tempting her, there's less of a fight. Yes, she might still go get stuff outside the home, but if she isn't hungry at home and has enough nutritious snacks around that she will eat, perhaps the sneaking will be reduced.

She'll wind up sharing my son's dog bones.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 18:24 The teachers working lunch at school don't let the kids throw out uneaten food so the parents know if their kid is not eating lunch.

Need some added details to implement suggestions

1) what are healthy convenient snacks that hold up and are quick on the go? School will request we pack a mid-morning snack so it has to be easy to eat. Sometimes there is a need for a snack at the end of the school day if they are in an afternoon activity so it has to hold up. I think the convenience factor is how we ended up in goldfish land. It won't be realistic for us to prepare something so i need suggestions on convenient yet healthy.

2) What are natural consequences for food in bedroom and trash cans? I don't want to make things worse and I want the consequence to fit the issue.

3) any recs on a family therapist in Montgomery County that could help with this type of issue?

The money for an exterminator has to come out of her allowance and savings. Take her bedroom door off the hinges.

I would get rid of the goldfish crackers, candy, "fruit" gummies, sugared-up yogurt, etc. They just aren't very healthy and if they are the replacement for real meals, it would be better to have better snack choices as the only alternative to meals. Here are some things that we have around for snacks that my kids will eat that pack in a bit more nutrition: packages of dried seaweed (they all like it, it's salty), baby carrots (or other crunchy veggies) and hummus (or peanut/almond/cashew butter), cheese sticks, plain greek yogurt with honey or jam to stir in, nut crackers (Blue Diamond makes them), baby tangerines, nuts esp. unsalted (or pepitas), apples, baby sweet peppers, tortellini with olive oil, tortillas with melted cheese. Be light on the dried fruits as some have tons of added sugar to preserve. Healthy cereal and milk/almond milk also works (I feel moderately good about the frosted mini wheats, regular special K with maybe sprinkle of granola, regular cheerios with same as choice). I hear you on the food hiding and temptation and unhealthy snacking. My kids get dessert most every night and won't reach first for fruit. I also find candy wrappers hidden around when there has been candy in house from Halloween/Easter/somebody's birthday party. When I decide that they aren't eating well enough, I replace all the junk snacks we accumulated somehow with healthier choices. Or if they really want snack-y food, I make them bake it. Even if it's loaded with sugar/butter/refined flour, at least they will have performed an activity (cooking) and made it with real food. I think it is fine to cut out food that is causing her to replace meals with bad choices -- if it isn't sitting around tempting her, there's less of a fight. Yes, she might still go get stuff outside the home, but if she isn't hungry at home and has enough nutritious snacks around that she will eat, perhaps the sneaking will be reduced.

Anonymous wrote:Do you take her grocery shopping with you? I would start involving her in planning her weekly menu. Are there any good foods she likes? Scrambled eggs?

Goldfish et al. don't sound like the worst thing in the world, but ask her what else can she have with goldfish that she likes?

I agree on the therapist idea- her food issues seem a little over the top and it would be useful to find out what role the family dynamic might contribute to / alleviate these issues.

Agree.
Give her some control. Let her be in charge of dinner one night - the shopping, setting the table, and even the cooking. So what if it's pancakes and green beans and 2 slices of cheese. Just go wiyth it.

With the hiding of junk food - does your DD get opportunities for salty indulgent snacks? Is it that much of a taboo in the house that she feels she has to sneak it? Can you start eating a sweet or salty treat in front of her so she can see it's ok to eat a handful here and there and that there shouldn't be a reason for being so stealth about it?

Anonymous wrote: My 9 year old takes it a step further with sneaking snacks (goldfish, M&M, candy) and we have found empty M&M wrappers in her room, a bag of goldfish in her drawer, recently this flavored fizzy drink in a toy drawer.

Is this really such a big deal?

She's hiding the food in her drawer so she can eat it without you bugging her about it right?

Could you stop bugging her about it?

Previous PP. I meant my DD has the sweet tooth and not my DS.

My DS does this. Pick take pictures of all the candy and food wrappers behind her bed and show it to her. She sneaks candy and junk when DH and I are asleep. I fuss at her occasionally but i don't view it as a big deal requiring therapy. She has a serious sweet tooth. She will snack on gummy vitamins and lie about them when I ask her about it. When I take her to the dentist, I know the dentist will point out cavities but she has not a one. She rarely eats breakfast except on the weekends or if we are on vacation. She never eats her lunch. She eats a big dinner after the ADHD meds wear off and dessert. I think she eats the candy at different times during the day. DD is physically fit and sports centered. She does not have a weight issue so I mostly let it be and choose my battles carefully. Things could always be worse.

OP, I am a former food hoarder. It started when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and got progressively worse after she died and my dad remarried. My dad and stepmom tried everything from taking me to a therapist (I was furious -it was the same woman I'd been seeing when my mom died but several years later - I was also embarrassed and acted like a total brat and refused to talk to her during the sessions) to punishment to hiding the junk. Making it "forbidden" only made me want it more. Also, as I got older (middle school) I'd just walk to the store and buy whatever junk food I wanted with my babysitting money.

In hindsight, it's pretty obvious I was using junk food as comfort/emotional soothing. But my relationship with food has been pretty messed up for most of my adult life as a result. I binge, I eat to calm myself in stressful situations, feel shame about eating junk, won't eat in front of strangers...I could go on. It's only since the birth of my daughter that I've really focused on healing bc I don't want to pass my issues onto her.

All this to say, please tread carefully with your child. I'd recommend a few sessions with a professional yourself to figure out the best way to approach helping her with this issue. Also, please do not shame/punish her. She's probably already embarrassed enough by her behavior. I knew what I was doing was wrong/weird, but I just couldn't will myself to stop. You need to get to the root of the problem.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 18:24 The teachers working lunch at school don't let the kids throw out uneaten food so the parents know if their kid is not eating lunch.

Need some added details to implement suggestions

1) what are healthy convenient snacks that hold up and are quick on the go? School will request we pack a mid-morning snack so it has to be easy to eat. Sometimes there is a need for a snack at the end of the school day if they are in an afternoon activity so it has to hold up. I think the convenience factor is how we ended up in goldfish land. It won't be realistic for us to prepare something so i need suggestions on convenient yet healthy.

2) What are natural consequences for food in bedroom and trash cans? I don't want to make things worse and I want the consequence to fit the issue.

3) any recs on a family therapist in Montgomery County that could help with this type of issue?

OP,

I would not have the junk food in the house. I would also hold off on "consequences;" save the lectures. The hiding food and leaving wrappers around is a red flag. (My sister started doing this in middle school from issues stemming from depression and trouble with school and is a compulsive over-eater.) To find a counselor, I would ask your pediatrician.

I also agree with PP to get her involved in meal planning and preparation. There are kids cooking classes through MoCo Recreation, some fun cookbooks.

I've found this site helpful in assessing foods:
http://www.foodfacts.com/productsnutritionalinformation

Kids like adults need to learn moderation. It's okay to have sweets/chips once in a while.

Do you take her grocery shopping with you? I would start involving her in planning her weekly menu. Are there any good foods she likes? Scrambled eggs?

Goldfish et al. don't sound like the worst thing in the world, but ask her what else can she have with goldfish that she likes?

I agree on the therapist idea- her food issues seem a little over the top and it would be useful to find out what role the family dynamic might contribute to / alleviate these issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is the same age but on the spectrum and we have this issue. He's a crunchy food kind of guy and I stopped buying goldfish, chips, and crackers because I was tired of them disappearing and finding wrappers under his bed. Yesterday I went to get a dog bone and the box was missing so I figured they were gone. When I found the box of them on DS's bed I assumed he had grabbed the box in order to lure the dog into his room. When I asked him why the dog bones were in his room he told me they were good and crunchy. I think I'm back to buying chips and crackers.

Sorry that he's going through this but your story made me laugh.

OP here. I needed that bit of levity.

I wish I could tell you I made it up.

Yes, as pp stated that sugar is very addicting! Cut her down, but do not eliminate completely or she will forever hoard. My cousin did this with her daughter, She never allowed her sweets or even juices or cokes. At a family function the mom was not there and the 13 yo filled her dinner plate with two layers of desserts and grabbed 2 cokes. No lie. The first time I saw this, I thought it was a joke. Sadly it was not.

Shoot, I used to eat a whole bag of crap or candy bars after trying to diiet and loose weight after my first child. It never worked for me and I consider myself somewhat of a healthy eater. What did work for me was eating healthy and satisfying a sweet tooth as well. I would watch what I ate and then would consume one small snickers bite size candy per say. It satisfied my sweet tooth and rewarded myself as well as not leading to binging.

My daughters, 12, 9, 5 will grab dinner with a dessert and may grab one bite or two but always then go to vegetables, salads and a hearty dinner. I have never seen them binge or hide food, I have never heard about it either. I actually have the candy bowl on the counter/ buffet and they hardly touch it. They actually never eat candy from Valentines, Easter, Christmas etc.

Get a food chart and explain what healthy eating and portions and food groups are to you daughter. For lunch give her a sandwich, apples, or oranges or both. There is a lot of natural sugar in fruit to help with that fix. Then when she is full on these, then give her a handful of crackers. Same with dinner. Let her eat her fill of salad, meat and vegetables, then always a small dessert. Like one cookie, or one Godiva truffle etc. if she does not eat her dinner then she doesn't eat dessert. Also never allow food in bedrooms, that's just disgusting anyways. Tell her and show her how healthy eating works. Tell her if she wants a snack or cookie mid day to come and ask you or tell you. Give her the choice and open that relationship of honesty with her. If she asks for a cookie or wants a sugary snack mid day, go with her and tell her she either gets it now or for dessert but not both. If she says now, enjoy ONE Girl Scout cookie with her and smile. Let her eat it in front of you. Again, create a healthy food relationship and a healthy honest relationship for and with her.

Make her help you prepare dinner. When she is washing tomatoes, and cucumbers, she will more than likely try a bite. If she doesn't always make her try one bite of a new food. I have noticed that food preparation aids the fact of them enjoying the food a bit more.

This is what has worked for me.

If it were me, I would tell her the rules. If she lies or hides food, she gets grounded from desserts and tv for a week.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, CIO advocates. Food issues and hoarding are the price you pay for all that sleep.

At the risk of feeding the troll I will ask, how do you figure?

Children who cry in hunger and are left alone rather than being fed have a lot of food issues later on, including hoarding food.

I think that you misunderstand what CIO is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is the same age but on the spectrum and we have this issue. He's a crunchy food kind of guy and I stopped buying goldfish, chips, and crackers because I was tired of them disappearing and finding wrappers under his bed. Yesterday I went to get a dog bone and the box was missing so I figured they were gone. When I found the box of them on DS's bed I assumed he had grabbed the box in order to lure the dog into his room. When I asked him why the dog bones were in his room he told me they were good and crunchy. I think I'm back to buying chips and crackers.

Sorry that he's going through this but your story made me laugh.

OP here. I needed that bit of levity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, CIO advocates. Food issues and hoarding are the price you pay for all that sleep.

At the risk of feeding the troll I will ask, how do you figure?

Children who cry in hunger and are left alone rather than being fed have a lot of food issues later on, including hoarding food.