Anonymous wrote:I understand it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but why did she not let us know? A simple text would have been enough.

It was a small gathering of friends, and I was excited about seeing her. We planned food for her and her husband. For some reason, I can't get over it.

If she's truly your friend, then you assume the best and not the worst. Don't be so petty. Call her up say you missed her the day of her daughter's party and then say "So what's going on these days? We haven't talked in like a month!" and move things forward. If someone's your friend you don't stand on ceremony over stupid little things like a kiddie party.

Well, I dunno. If she's a good friend, do what good friends do: forgive her.

And by that I mean, really, truly unburden yourself of your feelings of being betrayed, uncared for, and so on. It was one event. The end.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't really matter about the birthday party part but it is rude to say you are coming to any event and then not show up. Particularly if the host cooked specially for you, as it sounds like OP did.

It's just rude beyond belief. It doesn't matter whether it's a state dinner or a child's party, you RSVP in the positive, you'd better be sick (or willing to fake it, i.e, not post a pic on Facebook) or have a death in the family. Sorry, OP. That's just mean.

Eh, for a 3 yr old bday party when you don't have kids to bring to the party I don't think it's that rude. The friend was rightfully thinking that the party guests would be mostly other 3 yr olds and that the host would have her hands full dealing with the party. I could see she might even have felt like she was doing her a favor by giving her one less thing to worry about.

And the reason the OP can't get over it - well, it's hard when your realize that your kid is not the center of the universe to other people or really even all that special.

21:36 I said "she", I didn't say "all"

This woman is your friend for a reason. It's silly to lose a friendship over a kid's birthday party. She hasn't contacted you because she feels guilty. Pick up the phone and give her a call, but don't mention the party unless it comes up. Yes, your friend was wrong. She should have come, or at least called/texted to let you knows he wouldn't be coming. But, try to remember what it is what like before kids. You were probably more impulsive too. She either forgot or changed her mind, and at the time, etiquette wasn't a concern to her. One day she'll have kids perhaps, and see things differently. Until then, accept and move on.

It doesn't matter that she was rude. If the friendship is important to you, you should still: 1) raise the issue with her; and 2) get over with it. Dwelling on how thoughtless or hurtful her behavior was isn't going to help.

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have kids - she doesn't understand. She is not unique with this affliction.

That's an unfair generalization. Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean that they don't understand basic etiquette or that it's hurtful to not show up to a party they've already RSVP'd yes to. Unfortunately, I don't have kids but fortunately I'm an adult with good manners and some common sense. I try to be sensitive to other people's needs even if their lifestyle and family structure may be different than mine. I get tired of the whole parent vs. non-parent generalizations. Yes, there are some things that only parents can 100% understand but that doesn't mean that those of us who aren't parents don't understand it to some degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks it is weird to invite adult friends to a 3 year old's birthday party? I think these parties are excrutiating.

Honestly OP, you sound like a high maintenance friend.

ANd you sound like a bitch.

If you don't want to go to something, decline. If you accept, show up.

If something intervenes, let the hostess know.

That's it, ettiquette for the stupid.

At least this bitch can spell!
I am still not getting why you are inviting your childless friends to a party for a three year old. Doesn't your three year old have their own friends?

If she's that good a friend, ASK HER.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks it is weird to invite adult friends to a 3 year old's birthday party? I think these parties are excrutiating.

Honestly OP, you sound like a high maintenance friend.

I agree, and I have two little kids. Does this friend have kids who you invited? If not I'd never expect her to come.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks it is weird to invite adult friends to a 3 year old's birthday party? I think these parties are excrutiating.

Honestly OP, you sound like a high maintenance friend.

ANd you sound like a bitch.

If you don't want to go to something, decline. If you accept, show up.

If something intervenes, let the hostess know.

That's it, ettiquette for the stupid.

She doesn't have kids - she doesn't understand. She is not unique with this affliction.

Anonymous wrote:I understand it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but why did she not let us know? A simple text would have been enough.

It was a small gathering of friends, and I was excited about seeing her. We planned food for her and her husband. For some reason, I can't get over it.

I don't blame you. She sounds unreliable.

Am I the only person who thinks it is weird to invite adult friends to a 3 year old's birthday party? I think these parties are excrutiating.

Honestly OP, you sound like a high maintenance friend.

I'm sorry OP. I think it was rude and if it had happened to me my feelings would be hurt. Whether she has kids or doesn't, it's very rude to RSVP and not show up unless it's due to illness or some kind of emergency. I don't think being childless or being childless and sad about not having kids is a valid excuse. I'm childless and wasn't able to make it to a very good friend's son's first birthday party because I was sick with the flu. I texted her the night before and let her know I wouldn't be there and stopped by to give her son his present at a later date. In this day and age unless it's a life or death situation there's no reason why you can't send a text. It takes 30 seconds.

It's odd-we have all of these means to communicate nowadays but good manners and good communication skills seem to be lacking in so many people.