Anonymous wrote:It works for me. My husband gives me a lot of space and let's me do what I want. I put up with a sexless relationship for about 5 years. We are MUCH happier now.

19:13 there's no point in arguing this with people that are so resolute in their ideas of right and right. Few things in life are black & white. They will never see that on this particular topic.

But in your case, are you "cheating"? It sounds like you have an unspoken agreement for some form of an open marriage. If so, that's completely different than what 19:13 is talking about.

It works for me. My husband gives me a lot of space and let's me do what I want. I put up with a sexless relationship for about 5 years. We are MUCH happier now.

19:13 there's no point in arguing this with people that are so resolute in their ideas of right and right. Few things in life are black & white. They will never see that on this particular topic.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Then get a divorce, coward. Try to face life without your security blanket of a wife.

You are an idiot. Our marriage is intact, our children have parents who are together and happy. So it would be better for them to have a broken home?

Your happiness and your children's happiness is predicated on them never finding out about your cheating. That's a pretty shaky foundation, if you ask me.

This. If they did ever find out (and you have no way of being sure that they never will) they will probably feel just as betrayed and hurt as your spouse. When your happiness is built on lies and deception and betrayal, it's vulnerable to even the smallest shock.

Strange how couples will put up with all sorts of emotional abuse and mistreatment but when it gets to cheating, it is a deal breaker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Then get a divorce, coward. Try to face life without your security blanket of a wife.

You are an idiot. Our marriage is intact, our children have parents who are together and happy. So it would be better for them to have a broken home?

Your happiness and your children's happiness is predicated on them never finding out about your cheating. That's a pretty shaky foundation, if you ask me.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Then get a divorce, coward. Try to face life without your security blanket of a wife.

You are an idiot. Our marriage is intact, our children have parents who are together and happy. So it would be better for them to have a broken home?

So that's your excuse? You really are pathetic and insecure. Why else would you continue arguing on this thread with a total stranger. First, you want to brag. Then a total stranger on the internet questions you, then you get reactive. Man, you're a nutcase.

The topic is whether cheating can save a marriage. I am telling you that it has saved our marriage. What is pathetic and insecure about acknowledging what it has done for our marriage? I have not commented on the number of partners or any details other than to admit to having done so and that it has helped our marriage immeasurably.

What does your wife say? Does she agree that cheating saves marriages? I bet she does not, and that makes you a lying, cheating asshole who cares nothing for his wife. How dare you presume that you can unilaterally decide what is best for marriage, which is a joint enterprise.

Anonymous wrote:Got married as a 21 yo virgin. Started to stretch my wings in 30's, new career, met lots of new people etc. Read novels, fantasized about tons of incredible mind-blowing sex.

Was pursued by a colleague. Had brief affair. Gave me a greater appreciation for DH, especially in the sack.

Now going on 50 years and have a pretty good marriage, including good sex - especially for 70 yo's!

Hot

ROTFL good one, OP

Wow you're reaching for straws

How about the idea that *not cheating* saves the marriage, because, well, you are investing in the marriage instead of elsewhere?

Having an inappropriate flirty relationship has done wonders for my sex drive and, therefore, my marriage.

Got married as a 21 yo virgin. Started to stretch my wings in 30's, new career, met lots of new people etc. Read novels, fantasized about tons of incredible mind-blowing sex.

Was pursued by a colleague. Had brief affair. Gave me a greater appreciation for DH, especially in the sack.

Now going on 50 years and have a pretty good marriage, including good sex - especially for 70 yo's!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Your wife would probably be far more fortunate if you were to not remain married. You sound like a piece of work.

It saved ours. Because she found out. We both took a long, hard look at who we were, who we had become. But at the core, we remained best friends and our marriage re-grew from that point. Without the affair and discovery, we would have drifted apart until nothing was left. It was a painful way for both of us to grow, but we did. So yes, an affair can save a marriage, but I think in a very different way than you meant.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Then get a divorce, coward. Try to face life without your security blanket of a wife.

You are an idiot. Our marriage is intact, our children have parents who are together and happy. So it would be better for them to have a broken home?

So that's your excuse? You really are pathetic and insecure. Why else would you continue arguing on this thread with a total stranger. First, you want to brag. Then a total stranger on the internet questions you, then you get reactive. Man, you're a nutcase.

The topic is whether cheating can save a marriage. I am telling you that it has saved our marriage. What is pathetic and insecure about acknowledging what it has done for our marriage? I have not commented on the number of partners or any details other than to admit to having done so and that it has helped our marriage immeasurably.

A combination of artful rationalization, selfishness and raging hormones can make anything look like a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do and DW will never find out. It has worked wonders for our relationship.

Yes she will and she and the kids will hate you, you weasel.

You're also a coward, or as Dan Savage would say, a CPOS.

Been doing so for the best part of ten years. So when I say she will not find out, I know she will not.

Like it or not, it helps our marriage. I'd probably not stay married if I did not do so.

Then get a divorce, coward. Try to face life without your security blanket of a wife.

You are an idiot. Our marriage is intact, our children have parents who are together and happy. So it would be better for them to have a broken home?

So that's your excuse? You really are pathetic and insecure. Why else would you continue arguing on this thread with a total stranger. First, you want to brag. Then a total stranger on the internet questions you, then you get reactive. Man, you're a nutcase.