Anonymous
03/20/2014 08:53
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
OP, I would do informational interviews with people in the field to see if this degree is worth the money and time. This is a big money-making deal for colleges -- convincing people they need to go back and get a masters for their careers but then it turns out to not be all that useful. If you go and talk to people out there in the field you're interested in and they think it would help you, then I would go for it. But you shouldn't spend the money at this time in your life if it isn't going to aid your career. Maybe later on.
Anonymous
03/20/2014 08:52
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Maybe you just need a change in career. Have you applied to other jobs and found yourself losing out to people who have more degrees and certifications?
If not, then it's just a hypothesis that this degree will improve your life. It's $48K on a guess.
If not, then it's just a hypothesis that this degree will improve your life. It's $48K on a guess.
Anonymous
03/20/2014 07:49
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?
It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?
I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.
Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...
The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.
A feeling is a feeling, indeed. Not all feelings should be acted on, especially if doing so has a major impact on others' lives.
Anonymous
03/20/2014 07:48
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My dad got his PhD while I was working on my Masters. It was just something that he wanted and it was the first time in his life he felt he had the time between work and family commitments. I think if it is something that will be fulfilling for you, you should go for it. My dad died unexpectedly a year after he completed it and I'm glad he got to do some of the things on his bucket list.
OP here. I bet that even if your dad was a multi millionaire, the satisfaction of getting his PhD was an enormous source of pride. I understand what people are saying about retirement funds, etc., but I plan to work way into my 60's. Sometimes a person just has to do something because they want to give it a try, no matter if pieces of the puzzle are illogical.
Meh - you're not talking about saying "fuck it" and buying a smoker. You're talking about a significant investment of money, time, and energy. When you have a family, especially with children about to start college, wanting to give it a try for illogical feelings isn't enough. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but you need to sit down and figure out if this degree program makes fiscal sense (are you likely to increase your earnings enough to pay back the $48K easily), career sense (is this degree actually necessary to move forward), and general logical sense (are there other, less burdensome ways to achieve your goals)?
Anonymous
03/20/2014 07:40
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:If my husband and I were in this situation this would be a decision that both of us would have to fully support in order to say yes. Here is what I expect we would be wrestling in terms of factors:
- remaining time with child
- drain on family and spouse time
- financial drain, especially at a time when facing college costs for child
- fulfillment of a dream
- the example set by a parent when going back to school can be very powerful
- likelihood of the education paying off significantly (in emotional/financial/career/self-worth measures)
- level of want versus need involved in the desire to pursue the degree
- cost/benefit analysis for the family, marriage and other relationships that might be impacted by one person undertaking something like this.
To be honest, it would be a pretty tough sell in our house. I would love to go back to graduate school (and I too feel a bit of the "something to prove" issue) but it would do significantly more harm that good to my marriage and my relationship with my kids. So it would be a non-starter for us. If my husband wanted to do it and I sensed on some level that it was as much out of personal vanity, or if I felt that it was a pipe dream pursuit in terms of entrepreneurial opportunities, then I'd be opposed.
I'm not saying that's what's going on w/ you and this program, but those would be among my concerns.
This would be my thinking exactly.
OP, what is the financial plan for your child's college education? Have you saved enough to get her through college without loans?
I could not spend $48K on a degree for myself at this point if I knew that my child was about to embark on college financed via loans.
RE the undergrad degree and the chip on your shoulder - that makes no sense to me. You need to examine that carefully and consider what it says about you, that you think you need a brand-name degree at this point in your life to "prove something" (to whom?). If the goal is to prove something to yourself - then IMO that is even worse, all about vanity and ego.
Anonymous
03/20/2014 06:36
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?
It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?
I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.
Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...
The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.
I am a strong proponent of education. And I have gone to second/third tier state universities. I can not imagine how a prestigious school on the resume would change anything. For me, it would have helped in the the first 5 years, but today, I have a 20 year track record. That is better than any education.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 22:49
Subject: Re:Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
OP, I think many people feel like you do midlife. We look back and wish we had done things differently. We can appreciate the value of that time in college now more than we could when we were younger. If only I had worked harder and gone to Harvard. But really OP you have nothing to prove to anyone. The only people it matters to is you and your family. Some dreams we have to let go and say well this is good enough. The degree is worth it if it will really add financial value or job security in your life. It is not worth it if you feel it is because you have something to prove. I have been researching colleges for my high schooler and have had similar thoughts. I think maybe I should try and go back to one of these amazing schools and get a degree in something else. But then I look at our timeline with putting the kids through college and retirement not so far away and think that it is not cost effective. I understand your line of thinking though. Good luck.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 22:30
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
If the degree is not worth the financial cost, it is self indulgent, unless you and your wife have no money concerns.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 22:23
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
My dad was in school almost my entire childhood....three master's and a Ph.D. He finished around age 38 or 39, just as I was a sophomore in high school.
I did not see him much, but honestly, it did not really affect me much. I saw what he was doing, and was proud of him for doing it.
He did a career change at age 50, and he would not have been able to do it if he had not done that PhD.
There is no guarantee that this degree will be worth the cost. But if it is something that you think will fulfill you, then you might want to pursue it.
However, 48k is a hefty amount to pay. I don't think waiting three years will make that much of a difference if you wait. However, it might be even harder to pay for that and your child's college education.
I don't think your kid will necessarily suffer now if you go, but you have to think of the cost, your marriage, and if that cost is really worth it.
I did not see him much, but honestly, it did not really affect me much. I saw what he was doing, and was proud of him for doing it.
He did a career change at age 50, and he would not have been able to do it if he had not done that PhD.
There is no guarantee that this degree will be worth the cost. But if it is something that you think will fulfill you, then you might want to pursue it.
However, 48k is a hefty amount to pay. I don't think waiting three years will make that much of a difference if you wait. However, it might be even harder to pay for that and your child's college education.
I don't think your kid will necessarily suffer now if you go, but you have to think of the cost, your marriage, and if that cost is really worth it.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 22:14
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:It does not sound like the degree benefits are worth the stress ot would put on your family at this time. Give it a few years and rexamine. Or, take ONE class and reassess.
OP again. I was thinking about that. Taking the GRE, applying, getting in, and seeing how it goes with one class. Then I can proceed. I did ask them if I could start as a non-degree student and they were not crazy about the idea.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 21:48
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
It does not sound like the degree benefits are worth the stress ot would put on your family at this time. Give it a few years and rexamine. Or, take ONE class and reassess.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 17:23
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:My dad got his PhD while I was working on my Masters. It was just something that he wanted and it was the first time in his life he felt he had the time between work and family commitments. I think if it is something that will be fulfilling for you, you should go for it. My dad died unexpectedly a year after he completed it and I'm glad he got to do some of the things on his bucket list.
OP here. I bet that even if your dad was a multi millionaire, the satisfaction of getting his PhD was an enormous source of pride. I understand what people are saying about retirement funds, etc., but I plan to work way into my 60's. Sometimes a person just has to do something because they want to give it a try, no matter if pieces of the puzzle are illogical.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 17:04
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
My dad got his PhD while I was working on my Masters. It was just something that he wanted and it was the first time in his life he felt he had the time between work and family commitments. I think if it is something that will be fulfilling for you, you should go for it. My dad died unexpectedly a year after he completed it and I'm glad he got to do some of the things on his bucket list.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 16:58
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Lots of women go back to school later in life putting additional stress on their husbands while they study, no reason why men can't as well. You should have actually posted it as a woman wanting to go back to school and her husband not wanting her to - you would have gotten pages of asshole husband + you go after what you want woman responses.
I wouldn't go back if your main reason is to see what a prestigious school looks like on your resume. That is a lot of time, money and sacrifice for ego.
I am not someone who thinks you should sacrifice your life now in the hopes you will have some great life in the future. You only live once and have no idea what the future holds and time now is just as important as time 15 or 20 years from now. It doesn't sound like this will be a great imposition on your family then seriously consider the merits and outcomes of doing this program - how will you benefit you, your family, your lives in tangible ways and make a decision.
I wouldn't go back if your main reason is to see what a prestigious school looks like on your resume. That is a lot of time, money and sacrifice for ego.
I am not someone who thinks you should sacrifice your life now in the hopes you will have some great life in the future. You only live once and have no idea what the future holds and time now is just as important as time 15 or 20 years from now. It doesn't sound like this will be a great imposition on your family then seriously consider the merits and outcomes of doing this program - how will you benefit you, your family, your lives in tangible ways and make a decision.
Anonymous
03/19/2014 16:52
Subject: Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, with the graduate degrees you already have, it doesn't seem to make sense to sink in another $48k for another degree. I know you mentioned wanting to move in a more entrepreneurial direction an that school may help provide a network, but consider the options you have to build your own business without sinking the tuition of another degree. Consider the time and earnings you're foregoing to take this course, and whether it's realistic to believe that the additional schooling will pay off.
Perhaps you feel like you're in a rut, but if so, I don't think that school is necessarily the answer at this stage.
Big time rut. In a company that is going nowhere and that demands hours above and beyond reasonable, which is why they are not doing well.