Anonymous wrote:We have one more volunteer event to do. So tired of the top PTA moms and their clique of mean moms. Dreading this last task -- looking at the sign up sheet -- grrr.

note - clique of mean moms

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

what happen to the feminists anyways.

When I drop my kids at elementary school, 90% of the parents are women. And the adults that get to walk/jog the neighborhood during the day are mostly women - I work at home many days and it seems to be only women in the neighborhood all day.

what email did I miss that we are back to women staying home with the kids?

My favorite was the mom who planned the Teacher Appreciation Day--extravagant projects--but she didn't like being involved in the work--just the "planning"--she said that was her "talent".

So why don't you volunteer to orchestrate an event so you can call the shots?

The people who run programs also rarely last more than 1-2 years, so if you don't like someone, chances are in a year, they will be off the committee.

Each PTA is different. What happens at one school is not necessarily the same at another.

21:16 No, that's not always the case. The people who help out with the PTA are typically the most friendly I've met at the school. They genuinely want to help all the kids and the school, not just their snowflake. And I'm not an outgoing person who even talks much to other moms. They do spend time together planning and laugh, but always fill you in on what's going on and allow people to lead as much as they want themselves.

Mean girls grown up. And very insecure.

Isn't it a prerequisite for PTA volunteers to be mean and nasty? Every. single. one. I would never to anything, except they run everything at our school. Teachers seldom, if ever, allow volunteers in the classroom or ask field trip volunteers. In fact, my kid hasn't been on any field trips this year.

At DC's school it's the room moms who are more cliquish than the PTA. There are cliquey people and nice people everywhere. Not sure why it's so necessary to generalize the PTA in these forums. If I didn't like a group I was working with, I don't think I'd ever write on a public forum unless they truly did something unethical.

I got tired of the PTA at DC's school so instead I volunteer in the classroom. I like it much better and actually feel like I'm both contributing more and contributing what I feel is more valuable. Plus DC LOVES that I am the room mom.

You aren't that important. I mean that's the message they are telling you, right? (or course you're important) So, don't overthink this. They'll can along without you. Go do something else to enjoy your afternoon.

I was an elementary school teacher in a small private school before I had my children and was looking forward to being involved in the PTA at my kids' school since I became a SAHM. I tried for several years to "break in" but was not successful so I now only volunteer for the classroom teacher.

Reflecting back, I probably didn't feel included because I was shy and quiet. I would never be the one to lead something but I was always willing to help. The PTA moms were the type A+ personalities and social butterflies who just didn't see me. I don't think they were exclusive on purpose. I think my personality just didn't fit with them.

I probably would have felt not so overwhelmed with the social aspect of smaller school - not one of 700 kids.

Anonymous wrote:Hate to tell you this, but even old folks homes have "cool tables".

UGH!

Op--you can be very involved with the school without dealing with the PTA at all. At least at my Arlington school. You might want to go this route.

I focus more on classroom help with the teacher---deal with the teacher directly. If she needs somebody to come in for a class event, stuff some folders, etc. I am one of the room moms for one of my kids' classes.. I will chaperone field trips, contribute supplies, show up on field day and go to whatever stations needs help, etc. I might work a slot at the book fair.

I have a job so i don't have the time for full PTA-commitment. I find contributing this way I don't have to deal with any BS. I couldn't even tell you if there is a PTA clique or drama at my school because I don't deal with the committee.

If you don't like the PTA or you get a bad vibe, then don't volunteer. Or volunteer with a friend who also has children in the school.

What I have learned about PTA/PTO, etc is that it's always the same group of people doing what's needed. At least that seems to be the norm at our school. These people organize/coordinate and basically do a lot of events together relationships form. This is true of our own PTA, and while we try to make everyone feel welcome, sometimes it's difficult simply because you make a remark and only a handful of people get it and automatically it comes off as a clique.