There is no "right" answer here. But the guy would certainly be better off knowing his fiance was a tramp and a liar.

I would want someone to tell me, but it really shouldn't be you, OP. Don't just walk away. Run as fast as you can away!

Anonymous wrote:Chicken shit cowards!

You want to meddle and possibly ruin someone's relationship without being accountable for doing it.

OP does not want to be friends with the woman, then walk away and move on. The fiance may learn for himself what type of person she is in due time.

But if OP rats the woman out (and does so undercover), she is no better than the "friend" she despises.

But what about the OP's "moral obligation"? (lol)

Chicken shit cowards!

You want to meddle and possibly ruin someone's relationship without being accountable for doing it.

OP does not want to be friends with the woman, then walk away and move on. The fiance may learn for himself what type of person she is in due time.

But if OP rats the woman out (and does so undercover), she is no better than the "friend" she despises.

Anonymous wrote:An interest is something that can be put to one side to deal with the rest of life, but an obsession is compulsive and takes precedence so that it interferes with one's ability to perform other tasks, making it 'irrational' - hence the question to the OP as to whether or not she has an actual life of her own. The OP claims to have a life of her own but considering her outright nosy and borderline intrusive interests and the fact that she seems waaaaaaay too invested in the life of her friend and the life of her friend's ex and the life of her friend's new fiancee, I'd say the OP is obsessed and all that crap about wrestling with the question of what her "moral obligation" is sounds like denial at its best.

Sometimes a pipe is just a pipe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was the fiance I would want to know. IT has nothing to do with how it benefits the OP. The point is that there is a poor sap that thinks he is getting one thing when in reality it is a whole other story. I say to tell the fiance anonymously.

OP here:

You're exactly right - this doesn't benefit me in any way. In fact, it would only make my life more dramatic to get involved. That's why I'm writing here to discuss this dilemma.

That said, what is my moral obligation? If I follow the Golden Rule - "do unto others as you would have them do onto you" - I would certainly want to know about all of this if I was the fiance. But I also respect the fact that sometimes we just need to MYOB.

And yes, I do have a life. But the woman has always sucked in her "good friends" into her drama and airing her grievances. She always needs a shoulder to cry on, but never has the time to provide one when her friends are facing difficulties. It's all about her and her wants. If I did contact the fiance, I would do so anonymously.

So basically you would do this to spite your "friend?" Revenge, so to speak.

An interest is something that can be put to one side to deal with the rest of life, but an obsession is compulsive and takes precedence so that it interferes with one's ability to perform other tasks, making it 'irrational' - hence the question to the OP as to whether or not she has an actual life of her own. The OP claims to have a life of her own but considering her outright nosy and borderline intrusive interests and the fact that she seems waaaaaaay too invested in the life of her friend and the life of her friend's ex and the life of her friend's new fiancee, I'd say the OP is obsessed and all that crap about wrestling with the question of what her "moral obligation" is sounds like denial at its best.

Anonymous wrote:If I was the fiance I would want to know. IT has nothing to do with how it benefits the OP. The point is that there is a poor sap that thinks he is getting one thing when in reality it is a whole other story. I say to tell the fiance anonymously.

That poor sap is the one who proposed and OP does not even know the guy. Just because you would want to know is not a valid reason to interfere in someone else's life. It is NONE of OP's business. If it were her brother or a close friend, that would change my mind. Geez, I have seen people get seriously hurt for stuff like this. I am also the type of person that if you feel that strongly about the issue, step up, be an adult and identify yourself. If you are going out of your way to ruin someone else's wedding plans, they deserve to know who ratted them out. F that anoymous BS!

Anonymous wrote:If I was the fiance I would want to know. IT has nothing to do with how it benefits the OP. The point is that there is a poor sap that thinks he is getting one thing when in reality it is a whole other story. I say to tell the fiance anonymously.

OP here:

You're exactly right - this doesn't benefit me in any way. In fact, it would only make my life more dramatic to get involved. That's why I'm writing here to discuss this dilemma.

That said, what is my moral obligation? If I follow the Golden Rule - "do unto others as you would have them do onto you" - I would certainly want to know about all of this if I was the fiance. But I also respect the fact that sometimes we just need to MYOB.

And yes, I do have a life. But the woman has always sucked in her "good friends" into her drama and airing her grievances. She always needs a shoulder to cry on, but never has the time to provide one when her friends are facing difficulties. It's all about her and her wants. If I did contact the fiance, I would do so anonymously.

Anonymous wrote:Anybody that obsessed with the intricacies and complexities of their friend's personal affairs - so much so that they're bordering on venturing into the affairs of everyone within 6 degrees of separation of that friend HAS NO LIFE.

Why is tht obsessive? The stuff is Interesing; I am reading this forum essentially searching for stories of this sort.

If I was the fiance I would want to know. IT has nothing to do with how it benefits the OP. The point is that there is a poor sap that thinks he is getting one thing when in reality it is a whole other story. I say to tell the fiance anonymously.

Anybody that obsessed with the intricacies and complexities of their friend's personal affairs - so much so that they're bordering on venturing into the affairs of everyone within 6 degrees of separation of that friend HAS NO LIFE.

Lot of busybodys on DCUM.

It is not like the fiance is OP's friend. Aside from being spiteful to her friend, how does telling benefit the OP? She just wants to start some shit.