Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 21:49     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


Sure you did.


This a-hole with the 5 kids posts this every time a new mom posts that she's struggling. No actual mom would post this. It's fake.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 21:48     Subject: Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The suggestions sound good but I think the main thing is to wait it out!! It took us a long time to get back into our groove, and over 2 year to get our sex life back due to breastfeeding hormones that killed my libido.


Yes, and stop putting pressure on yourself to have a good relationship right now. You've been together for a long time; you can gut it out for a few months without destrying your marriage. Having one more thing to worry about is just going to make everything harder, you know? I promise, it really does get MUCH better, and quickly.


I disagree with this. I think it is pretty easy to do small things to make sure the relationship stays good. How many posts do we read on here where the marriages have never bounced back after this stage. Where people haven't had sex since their 2 year old was born because the intimacy and closeness of the marriage is gone. There are so many little things that don't take much effort or time that both husbands and wives can do during this time to make each other feel appreciated and loved.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 21:45     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


No. Those were different times. A LOT MORE is expected of younger moms nowadays, without much help.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 21:31     Subject: Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:The suggestions sound good but I think the main thing is to wait it out!! It took us a long time to get back into our groove, and over 2 year to get our sex life back due to breastfeeding hormones that killed my libido.


+1. There is no getting over this stage, OP. There is just getting through it. Week by week, it gets a little easier.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 16:47     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


MOM?? IS THAT YOU?? That has to be you, Mom, 'cause that sure sounds like you!

But don't think that you didn't have help, Mom...cause we helped you all the time.

-We walked to the store to get your things - for years because you had no license, or car, for that matter.
-We babysat the little ones a lot of the time. When you were too tired, or hung over, in Hawaii, etc...
-We taught each other how to ride bikes, throw balls, climb trees, get in and out of trouble,
-We took up for each other when one of us was bullied, beat up, etc...
-We helped each other with homework, yardwork, girlfriends, and boyfriends.
-We did a lot of other stuff to help you Mom.

You were mostly willing to help, Mom, but we were too much for you. We did a lot of growing up on our own, Mom.

Don't feel bad, Mom, you did your best, and did a damn good job, too.

None of us are in jail. None of us are crazy (me a little). None of us hate each other.

We gave you 10 grandchildren.

Anyway, Mom, I know it's you. You moved to God's side in 2001. But we still feel you.

We love you Mom.

Take it easy on these other younger moms, Mom. They're doing the best they can, too.

They just need, or think they need, more help than you did, or thought you did.

We all need help, Mom!

OH, YOU SAID OUTSIDE HELP. oh, that's different.

Never Mind.


Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 16:33     Subject: Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:The suggestions sound good but I think the main thing is to wait it out!! It took us a long time to get back into our groove, and over 2 year to get our sex life back due to breastfeeding hormones that killed my libido.


Yes, and stop putting pressure on yourself to have a good relationship right now. You've been together for a long time; you can gut it out for a few months without destrying your marriage. Having one more thing to worry about is just going to make everything harder, you know? I promise, it really does get MUCH better, and quickly.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 16:32     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


Get down off the cross, honey, someone else could use the wood.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 16:29     Subject: Newborn and marital satisfaction
OP most of the prior advice is really good. Mostly just hang in there - it will get better in time, and exponentially so when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches.

Be as kind to each other as you can manage to be.

Do not expect things to be the same again for quite a long time - your world has changed. It will get much less jarring and will settle into a new routine but you'll never go back to exactly the way it was.

Get as much help as you can afford. Take and use the help - even if it's just so you can nap. Or go get a pedicure. or meet your husband for lunch. Whatever will help you feel a little bit more like your old self.

Do you have a friend w/ a newborn? Or can you find a mothers group or something? It was a huge salvation to me to make a new friend who was going through the same stresses at the same time as me. Sooooo valuable.

Mostly, again, just hang in there. What you are experiencing is very normal and it will absolutely get better.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 15:13     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


Sure you did.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2014 12:57     Subject: Re:Newborn and marital satisfaction
Anonymous wrote:I raised 5 kids and never had any outside help. You women are pathetic.


I feel bad for your kids because they clearly a miserable, mean person as a mother.